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Artemisia

Experienced
May 24, 2024
237
Tbh, I've considered death as a friend from almost since I can remember, that friend I could turn to if things got too bad. But the thing was, I didn't really want to die, I wanted to live without the problems that plagued me. Being independent and capable of taking care of myself was always the most important thing to me and I always knew I'd want to end my life when I was no longer capable of such. I just never expected it to be so soon. Now I'm 49 and in constant, debilitating pain. I had already planned to ctb around these days, I'll give it some more time but hope is almost lost. I still don't really want to die, but what I have is no longer living.
 
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Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies. Forever 22.
Apr 25, 2023
1,085
My passive suicidal thoughts started at the age of 8, and my active suicidal thoughts started at 20
 
lost_ange1

lost_ange1

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
156
I think it was around 16, I had a suicide note ready but never actually did it.

Well and with 22 I failed ctb.
 
abyss@fmPf1KVp6

abyss@fmPf1KVp6

from iron to red drench
May 29, 2024
59
From around 14 to now with 21
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
3,219
Nettles

Nettles

Member
May 8, 2024
46
I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?
Oh same here, I was at that age, in my late teens, and now I'm 53 y o. I've been so mad at myself to why I didn't end this shitty existence then..but, now I'm almost done here on earth. So tired.
I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?
Have you found a preferred way to ctb?
 
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Vicolo cieco

Vicolo cieco

Student
May 14, 2024
113
At 12/13 years old, when I started to realise that I was not like "normal" people.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,474
this thread shows a lot of people have been thinking seriously about suicide for many years. me too. i ned to get moving on it . i haven't made any progress toward my suicide.

it's that time passes so fast . a human is just a dumb fish brain. i say i'm going to do "this" , ok suicide yeah , i really mean it . i look down , go down a youtube rabbit hole, look up and 10 years pass by and i haven't made any progress , not an iota on defeating si even deciding on a single method nothing on top of that i have adhd. . so it's the equivalent of 10 days not 10 years seems more like 10 days. i can't let another 10 years go by like that i need to kill these monstrous cells they call a human body i'm inprisoned in. add to that no one not the "schools" media nothing taught any of us how to get things done . so i need to somehow get myself to kill myself asap . now way i want to make it to 2025, enough. There's only 6 months left but that's nothing compared to the 15 years of seriously i want to kill myself.



Proposed-stages-in-the-evolution-of-consciousness-as-an-uninterrupted-sequence-The.tif
 
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crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
154
It was 12. I'm 29 now. No longer want to CTB, though.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,804
I was 12 the first time I really ever considered it. I would've been so much better off if my life had not continued from that point. Now at 25 I have spent the last two years no longer contemplating but knowing I have to ctb as my issues are permanent.
 
F

frog_prince

Member
Feb 8, 2023
36
at 21 and now im 42
 
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heroinhero

heroinhero

Member
Jan 23, 2024
21
I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?
9
 
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viljalauss

viljalauss

he/they 22
Aug 22, 2023
191
12 onwards; not sure i had a concrete method till 14 though
 
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T

TheLastBoyOnEarth

Member
Jun 7, 2024
92
I was 16. My OCD was getting really bad. But it passed. I had suicidal phases throughout the years but the only time I attempted was when I was 21.
 
chronicdissosiation

chronicdissosiation

sell your sands of time and invest in the knife
Feb 17, 2024
61
began considering it at 12
 
sexual-sinning

sexual-sinning

世界上幸福的人到處有,為何不能算我一個?
Jun 8, 2024
16
19, I'm 22 now and life has only gotten shittier
 
B

bunnydetriment

Member
Jun 8, 2024
17
Seriously considering, probably 17 or 18. Am 21 now
 
I

Into-the-abyss

Member
May 31, 2024
31
My first attempt didn't happen until I was 19, and it was an epic failure! Fast forward almost five years later, and here I am. Whoop whoop, disappointment :pfff:
 
itsneverbeenmoreove

itsneverbeenmoreove

You are just my love
May 21, 2024
77
I first thought about it when I was like 8. But I didn't really think of it seriously until I was more like 12 or 13
 
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Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,352
Oh same here, I was at that age, in my late teens, and now I'm 53 y o. I've been so mad at myself to why I didn't end this shitty existence then..but, now I'm almost done here on earth. So tired.

Have you found a preferred way to ctb?
You have 6 more years. I am 47. I can't imagine live 6 more years.

Yes I will go with propofol but still here bc my mom is still alive. I am prisoner.
 
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S like Siren

S like Siren

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,579
Seriously taking action on attempting ctb was at 25...before that I had these bad attacks,or as I call them depressive crisis where I wanted to hurt me to the point of kill myself.