Taken last method

[Meditation guide]

You tried a method that was bound to fail. Who couldn't see this coming?

 

[Gromit-CTB]

You tried a method that was bound to fail. Who couldn't see this coming?

Even if I has a bucket load of N or SN it would fail. Am just not meant to ctb obviously

 

[Sakura94]

I couldn't understand your method tbh but I'm happy you're still here.
Try and keep your fluids up, tea water ect you've been through an awful night and time in general.

 

[Seul]

Sick all night. This obviously hasn't worked. Am total failure, giving up on ctb. Will let old age kill me.

You're not a failure. Some things are just hard to get right

 

[Gromit-CTB]

You're not a failure. Some things are just hard to get right

Can't get life right, can't get ctb right. Can't even get survival In the void of nothing right. Would even consider being a lab rat for testing any drug

 

[Mthom2]

We should start an I Failed At Both Life And CTB! club. The group could probably set some sort of new records. Found a new branch of psychology.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

We should start an I Failed At Both Life And CTB! club. The group could probably set some sort of new records. Found a new branch of psychology.

I would get kicked out my own club

 

[Mthom2]

For failing to... fail? Then you'd be a winner! It's a win win situation.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I only want one win, the ctb win.

 

[Nexuno]

Just read a post by someone failing at hanging on a bridge last night (twice). I think a lot of people (included myself) have this feeling of being destined to fail at everything, even dying. In my case for example my worst nightmare is to be conscious while CTB and for some (paranormal?) reasons most (all?) sedatives have no effect at all on me: I can literally swallow boxes of Xanax without any result (I don't even yawn, my best accomplishment was to puke). Sometimes (often) I think it's something like a curse/trick of life or destiny to make me suffer more.

By the way Gromit don't be too harsh with yourself now (I know it's hard). Just try to not think at it at all; in this particular situations I put myself in I-dont-give-a-f#uck-mode and most of the times it works.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Just read a post by someone failing at hanging on a bridge last night (twice). I think a lot of people (included myself) have this feeling of being destined to fail at everything, even dying. In my case for example my worst nightmare is to be conscious while CTB and for some (paranormal?) reasons most (all?) sedatives have no effect at all on me: I can literally swallow boxes of Xanax without any result (I don't even yawn, my best accomplishment was to puke). Sometimes (often) I think it's something like a curse/trick of life or destiny to make me suffer more.

By the way Gromit don't be too harsh with yourself now (I know it's hard). Just try to not think at it all; in this particular situations I put myself in I-dont-give-a-f#uck-mode and most of the times it works.

Thank you for those words. Now going to spend afternoon looking at new ways to fail at ctb that would kill anyone else. One day I might get this right, but not holding breath on that.

 

[justanotherstar]

I feel your pain Gromit. Be kind to yourself

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I feel your pain Gromit. Be kind to yourself

I will am going to give failing at life a go again. Ctb is beyond me so here I go again at trying to live and become "normal"

 

[justsad&done]

Oh gosh Gromit, I sense your total and frustration and disappointment. Certainly life is unfair and so harsh.
Sit back, rest, and maybe for once you'll get lucky and a miracle will bring you your SN.

 

[Leiden]

@Gromit-CTB
The night night method you were practicing and tried doesn't work for a lot of people.
This ricin method I had never heard of but someone had said if you cooked it over 80c it can ruin it and that being the very temp that you cooked it at 80c and ovens aren't always correct. I know mine is always a little higher than what it says. All these things can happen, and it doesn't make you a failure, by any means. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have SN coming Monday and you will not survive that if done correctly, but maybe you shouldn't take it maybe this is the universe telling you that it just isn't your time and that things are going to get better for you. Maybe you should give things another chance. Maybe they could get better for you. Maybe there are still things you need to do. I wish you nothing but peace in mind, body and soul Gromit and please don't beat yourself up. Whatever you choose is your decision but just know that we are all here for you either way.

Sending you big hugs

 

[Gromit-CTB]

@Gromit-CTB
The night night method you were practicing and tried doesn't work for a lot of people.
This ricin method I had never heard of but someone had said if you cooked it over 80c it can ruin it and that being the very temp that you cooked it at 80c and ovens aren't always correct. I know mine is always a little higher than what it says. All these things can happen, and it doesn't make you a failure, by any means. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have SN coming Monday and you will not survive that if done correctly, but maybe you shouldn't take it maybe this is the universe telling you that it just isn't your time and that things are going to get better for you. Maybe you should give things another chance. Maybe they could get better for you. Maybe there are still things you need to do. I wish you nothing but peace in mind, body and soul Gromit and please don't beat yourself up. Whatever you choose is your decision but just know that we are all here for you either way.

Sending you big hugs

Had post today and if SN was coming it would have been in there as not from a shop. Anyway the way that was sent to me would have ruined it anyway. All my SN orders have been cancelled or stopped from shops so can't even get that right. Think something in universe is having a real laugh at me. So yes let's see if I can get a job although been trying all year and apply for 30 jobs a day and not one interview. Am sure my job coach will have something amazing to say tomorrow in my phone call with him.

Oh gosh Gromit, I sense your total and frustration and disappointment. Certainly life is unfair and so harsh.
Sit back, rest, and maybe for once you'll get lucky and a miracle will bring you your SN.

Only chance of that is someone in UK having it and saying come join me. But want to go before Christmas

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Even if you don't have SN, it's that time of the year where yew seeds are close to being at its maximum potency. You could grab a few branches and make an alcoholic extract. May be hard work, and will require a bit of patience but... it'll be more rewarding in the end. And perhaps having a good method at hand will make you want to live again. It'll also help to get something that'll block adrenaline. And also an antiemetic will be needed.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Even if you don't have SN, it's that time of the year where yew seeds are close to being at its maximum potency. You could grab a few branches and make a quick alcoholic extract. May be hard work, but... it'll be more rewarding in the end. It'll also help to get something that'll block adrenaline.

Read to many survival stories on yew seeds even over 400 is safe. If you have any info can PM me but not a guaranteed way

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Read to many survival stories on yew seeds even over 400 is safe. If you have any info can PM me but not a guaranteed way

We're talking yew leaves. They require at least 200 grams. 400g would be optimal in your case.
It may not be guaranteed, but it's better than ricin.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

We're talking yew leaves. They require at least 200 grams. 400 would be optimal in your case.
It may not be guaranteed, but it's better than ricin.

Seen it with seeds not leaves

 

[Ghost2211]

I can imagine how defeating this feels. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out as you hoped. Try to do something nice for yourself to help you get back on feet, so you can your next moves.

 

[Leiden]

Had post today and if SN was coming it would have been in there as not from a shop. Anyway the way that was sent to me would have ruined it anyway. All my SN orders have been cancelled or stopped from shops so can't even get that right. Think something in universe is having a real laugh at me. So yes let's see if I can get a job although been trying all year and apply for 30 jobs a day and not one interview. Am sure my job coach

Had post today and if SN was coming it would have been in there as not from a shop. Anyway the way that was sent to me would have ruined it anyway. All my SN orders have been cancelled or stopped from shops so can't even get that right. Think something in universe is having a real laugh at me. So yes let's see if I can get a job although been trying all year and apply for 30 jobs a day and not one interview. Am sure my job coach will have something amazing to say tomorrow in my phone call with him.

Only chance of that is someone in UK having it and saying come join me. But want to go before Christmas

I know that can be very discouraging, applying for all those jobs and not hearing anything back. I wish you the very best of luck that something will come through for you.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I know that can be very discouraging, applying for all those jobs and not hearing anything back. I wish you the very best of luck that something will come through for you.

Thanks but 10 months of applications and nothing gets to you.

 

[Regen]

I have to agree with this guys. I'm quite familiar with this method since when I join the group this was some thing I considered as well, and quite thorough research on it. If you read up on what's going to happen it's going to be quite unpleasant. Imagine the worst indigestion you've ever had and shitting blood for several days. You could go into the hospital, and they very well may sedate you but they also might be assholes and tell you that you brought this on

Then maybe I would go to another hospital. I think if they know they can't save you anymore they will make you suffer less than if they think they have to teach you a "lesson" for life in the future. I think the chance of getting help for the pain is definitely greater than being alone at home....

I have to agree with this guys. I'm quite familiar with this method since when I join the group this was some thing I considered as well, and quite thorough research on it. If you read up on what's going to happen it's going to be quite unpleasant. Imagine the worst indigestion you've ever had and shitting blood for several days. You could go into the hospital, and they very well may sedate you but they also might be assholes and tell you that you brought this on yourself.

Then maybe I would try go to another hospital. I think if they know they can't save you anymore they will make you suffer less than if they think they have to teach you a "lesson" for life in the future. I think the chance of getting help for the pain is definitely greater than being alone at home.

 

[Symbiote]

I don't access SS on the weekends, but you were on my mind and had wondered if you went through with it or not. Sorry it didn't work out that way, but then yeah I had worried about that I might be a demi-god, and that I would have a hard time dying as well unless I got a hold of a gun or something.

 

[Nymph]

Nightshade nibbles.

Maybe more than nibbles, tiny cakes lol

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

View attachment 55271
Maybe more than nibbles, tiny cakes lol

Hey! Not bad... looks deceptively appetizing!

 

[Meditation guide]

View attachment 55271
Maybe more than nibbles, tiny cakes lol

Those pretty cakes look delicious with their nightshade flowers and poison goodness. Who among us wouldn't want to eat that sweet concoction? I know I would like to, wouldn't you?

I used to have a little patch of deadly nightshade growing where I lived. Wish I had that now. I also had foxglove. Also Poke weed! it would make a nice deadly meal.

 

[Endeavour]

Had post today and if SN was coming it would have been in there as not from a shop. Anyway the way that was sent to me would have ruined it anyway. All my SN orders have been cancelled or stopped from shops so can't even get that right. Think something in universe is having a real laugh at me. So yes let's see if I can get a job although been trying all year and apply for 30 jobs a day and not one interview. Am sure my job coach will have something amazing to say tomorrow in my phone call with him.

Only chance of that is someone in UK having it and saying come join me. But want to go before Christmas

I'm curious why OP would think the SN would be ruined. According to the SN FAQ it doesn't oxidise in air, it will last for months once opened, possibly 18 months - it's coming into contact with water that changes it (I think).

I'd like to know because mine is in a plastic tub that's only half full and I've opened it loads of times. It's still loose (i.e. not clumped) and looks just like it did when I bought it.

It's making me worry it might be no good, but I don't think that's right - is it?

 

[Nymph]

I'm curious why OP would think the SN would be ruined. According to the SN FAQ it doesn't oxidise in air, it will last for months once opened, possibly 18 months - it's coming into contact with water that changes it (I think).

I'd like to know because mine is in a plastic tub that's only half full and I've opened it loads of times. It's still loose (i.e. not clumped) and looks just like it did when I bought it.

It's making me worry it might be no good, but I don't think that's right - is it?

If it's clumpy that's okay too, it's normal. And yeah it does last long even if you open it