CTB Today!!!

[Braindead Girl]

Hello SaSu i'm going to try to CTB tonight

I'm not really sure what i should write but i've taken first dose of Meto a lil bit ago and will be taking my SN in 5 hours
i'm mostly following what the SN bible says for the fasting for 8 hours thing and i really hope it will work.

I'm just super scared about getting it wrong or surviving or something or SI flaring up in my final moments.

Just a little bit of a personal request but if you could tell me about how your days are going or tell me a joke or something until my final moments i'd be glad but honestly i just wan't someone to talk to in my final moments.

 

[enso]

Hello!

Are you okay with talking about what made you make such a decision?

 

[Braindead Girl]

Hello!

Are you okay with talking about what made you make such a decision?

I suppose i'd say the biggest factors are my crippling gender dysphoria, anxiety, and my trauma. I don't really want to get into the specifics about all of it but this has been a long time coming. Just SN has finally given me the opportunity to disappear how i want to.

 

[Salkak]

Hello SaSu i'm going to try to CTB tonight

I'm not really sure what i should write but i've taken first dose of Meto a lil bit ago and will be taking my SN in 5 hours
i'm mostly following what the SN bible says for the fasting for 8 hours thing and i really hope it will work.

I'm just super scared about getting it wrong or surviving or something or SI flaring up in my final moments.

Just a little bit of a personal request but if you could tell me about how your days are going or tell me a joke or something until my final moments i'd be glad but honestly i just wan't someone to talk to in my final moments.

Hey wishing you peace. You are free to change your mind anytime you want. There is no shame in that.

Safe travels

 

[enso]

Thank you for sharing!

How do you think, is there anything that could change your mind?

Did you try therapy, could it be useful for you?

What do you like the most? What are your hobbies?

I am sorry if it looks like an interrogation , I am just interested about you!

 

[Braindead Girl]

Thank you for sharing!

How do you think, is there anything that could change your mind?

Did you try therapy, could it be useful for you?

What do you like the most? What are your hobbies?

I am sorry if it looks like an interrogation , I am just interested about you!

I don't really think there is anything that could change my mind anymore i tried for the longest time to live but i really can't function anymore, that aside i did try therapy for some time but it never really helped

I guess my hobbies are stuff like cosplay / dressing up and reading, ig gaming too oh and collecting plushies

I would say i like Cats and Cat Cafes, Well Animals in general tbh but also i'm pretty big into some niche video games / anime franchises that i absolutely adore

 

[hevnsfall]

Which protocol are you following?

 

[Braindead Girl]

	Fast for 8 hours and take minimal water as possible, 2 hours before SN (stop water)
1 hour before drinking SN	600mg of Ibuprofen or 1000mg of paracetamol. You can use any pain killer as long as you stay within the recommended dose
40 minutes before drinking SN	3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
	Wait 40 minutes During the wait time, dissolve 25gm of Sodium Nitrite in 50-100ml of plain water (35gm if body weight over 100kg) Crush 20x30mg tablets (Oxazepam) (Benzos) with Mortar & Pestle Mix crushed tablets with enough water until a drinkable solution is created
	SN drink Drink Oxazepam (Benzos) in water Lay back Which protocol are you following?

This one i'm not sure of the specific name

 

[ctb_warrior]

Hello SaSu i'm going to try to CTB tonight

I'm not really sure what i should write but i've taken first dose of Meto a lil bit ago and will be taking my SN in 5 hours
i'm mostly following what the SN bible says for the fasting for 8 hours thing and i really hope it will work.

I'm just super scared about getting it wrong or surviving or something or SI flaring up in my final moments.

Just a little bit of a personal request but if you could tell me about how your days are going or tell me a joke or something until my final moments i'd be glad but honestly i just wan't someone to talk to in my final moments.

Heya
Wish you all the love and luck in your journey to peace
And we are all here, share anything on your mind, we are here to talk to you

 

[enso]

I don't really think there is anything that could change my mind anymore i tried for the longest time to live but i really can't function anymore, that aside i did try therapy for some time but it never really helped

I guess my hobbies are stuff like cosplay / dressing up and reading, ig gaming too oh and collecting plushies

I would say i like Cats and Cat Cafes, Well Animals in general tbh but also i'm pretty big into some niche video games / anime franchises that i absolutely adore

First of all, I want to say that you already did great if you have tried therapy! Sometimes changing specialist or medication can make different result. Yeah, it may take a lot of time and energy, but in the end you could feel better! If something could become better with that, would you try?


About your hobbies, oooh, that's interesting! Do you attend some cosplay events or you just like doing it for yourself? I like games too, I mostly play strategies or RPGs! Don't you want to play some of your favorite games today if you have some free time?

I have at least one of such animal cafe's in my city, but I haven't been there yet. Do you have a cat at home?

 

[ctb_warrior]

	Fast for 8 hours and take minimal water as possible, 2 hours before SN (stop water)
1 hour before drinking SN	600mg of Ibuprofen or 1000mg of paracetamol. You can use any pain killer as long as you stay within the recommended dose
40 minutes before drinking SN	3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
	Wait 40 minutes During the wait time, dissolve 25gm of Sodium Nitrite in 50-100ml of plain water (35gm if body weight over 100kg) Crush 20x30mg tablets (Oxazepam) (Benzos) with Mortar & Pestle Mix crushed tablets with enough water until a drinkable solution is created
	SN drink Drink Oxazepam (Benzos) in water Lay back

This one i'm not sure of the specific name

This looks good, just not sure about the quantity.

 

[Braindead Girl]

First of all, I want to say that you already did great if you have tried therapy! Sometimes changing specialist or medication can make different result. Yeah, it make take a lot of time and energy, but in the end you could feel better! If something could become better with that, would you try?


About your hobbies, oooh, that's interesting! Do you attend some cosplay events or you just like doing it for yourself? I like games too, I mostly play strategies or RPGs! Don't you want to play some of your favorite games today if you have some free time?

I have at least one of such animal cafe's in my city, but I haven't been there yet. Do you have a cat at home?

I genuinely don't think i can really get better anymore and i tried for years

I did used to go to Cons but i only really cosplayed once at one and i'm genuinely unable to really go to cons anymore. So i suppose for myself now. I don't really think i'll be able to focus on any games i do play so i feel like there's not much point

I do have a Cat at home. He's a very cute but an old being and i love him alot

This looks good, just not sure about the quantity.

Are you referring to the benzo amount?

 

[ctb_warrior]

I genuinely don't think i can really get better anymore and i tried for years

I did used to go to Cons but i only really cosplayed once at one and i'm genuinely unable to really go to cons anymore. So i suppose for myself now. I don't really think i'll be able to focus on any games i do play so i feel like there's not much point

I do have a Cat at home. He's a very cute but an old being and i love him alot

Are you referring to the benzo amount?

Sn as well as benzo.. main thing is sn in this . Because that's what will be giving peace .benzo is only to cover up any discomfort

 

[Braindead Girl]

Sn as well as benzo.. main thing is sn in this . Because that's what will be giving peace .benzo is only to cover up any discomfort

Almost all of the protocols i've seen have suggested a similar amount of SN and i am pretty underweight for my height too

 

[enso]

I genuinely don't think i can really get better anymore and i tried for years

I did used to go to Cons but i only really cosplayed once at one and i'm genuinely unable to really go to cons anymore. So i suppose for myself now. I don't really think i'll be able to focus on any games i do play so i feel like there's not much point

I do have a Cat at home. He's a very cute but an old being and i love him alot

Are you referring to the benzo amount?

You tried really hard, you're really great!


As for cosplays, I always looked at them and wondered how long it takes to put together the right look. The makeup alone can take hours, right? Or is it only for complex character's cosplay?


About games, well, there is not much point in life itself except making you feel better. Anyway, it would be really good if you could some positive emotions today! If not games, maybe something different? Is there any chance that you would want to watch some anime?

Ooooh! Now I am intrigued how your cat does look like!

 

[balladeer]

Awhh so sad to see you go,, I wish you all the best if you believe in an afterlife I wish you eternal peace and happiness in your desired body with lots of cute dresses!!!

 

[Braindead Girl]

You tried really hard, you're really great!


As for cosplays, I always looked at them and wondered how long it takes to put together the right look. The makeup alone can take hours, right? Or is it only for complex character's cosplay?


About games, well, there is not much point in life itself except making you feel better. Anyway, it would be really good if you could some positive emotions today! If not games, maybe something different? Is there any chance that you would want to watch some anime?

Ooooh! Now I am intrigued how your cat does look like!

I mean makeup isn't always required but it can really enhance the look, but its totally not necessary at all

I mean i watched a movie today and treated myself a lil before it all

and my cat is a shorthair and hes black and white

Awhh so sad to see you go,, I wish you all the best if you believe in an afterlife I wish you eternal peace and happiness in your desired body with lots of cute dresses!!!

Awww thank you that really means alot!!

 

[hevnsfall]

	Fast for 8 hours and take minimal water as possible, 2 hours before SN (stop water)
1 hour before drinking SN	600mg of Ibuprofen or 1000mg of paracetamol. You can use any pain killer as long as you stay within the recommended dose
40 minutes before drinking SN	3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
	Wait 40 minutes During the wait time, dissolve 25gm of Sodium Nitrite in 50-100ml of plain water (35gm if body weight over 100kg) Crush 20x30mg tablets (Oxazepam) (Benzos) with Mortar & Pestle Mix crushed tablets with enough water until a drinkable solution is created
	SN drink Drink Oxazepam (Benzos) in water Lay back

This one i'm not sure of the specific name

Where are you from? In my country, shrinks only prescribe alprazolam, lorazepam, and diazepam... Through this forum and the pph handbook is the first time i have ever heard of oxazepam...

 

[Braindead Girl]

I'm in Australia but i'm going to be substituing it with a different antidepressant i forgot the name but it's one of the ones listed

 

[ctb_warrior]

Almost all of the protocols i've seen have suggested a similar amount of SN and i am pretty underweight for my height too

Oh ok. Then it should work as your bmi is less.
It feels sad that life has brought you to this point that you have to go. I pray and wish that you've a happy, safe and peaceful journey to the other side

 

[komakun]

Wishing you peace also love the mizuki/pjsk pfp

 

[Braindead Girl]

Wishing you peace also love the mizuki/pjsk pfp

Awww thank you i love mizuki sm i have a ita bag of her too that i'll be bringing with me as i go and i might wear my cosplay of her honestly

 

[hevnsfall]

Awwww that is so precious

Surround your enviroment with your favourite things and get as comfy as you possibly can !

 

[Braindead Girl]

Awwww that is so precious

Surround your enviroment with your favourite things and get as comfy as you possibly can !

That's the goal i'm just really scared of like what if i vomit or something

 

[ctb_warrior]

That's the goal i'm just really scared of like what if i vomit or something

You are already using a very powerful anti emetic.. Don't worry about it.. besides there's a case where an Indian man murdered 11+ ppl with sn. So, it's obv he didn't follow the protocol. He just gave them SN water.. And all of them died without vomiting.

So, as you are following protocol, don't worry..

However, yes, if you wish to take some time before you ctb, that's a choice that you can always make

 

[hevnsfall]

That's the goal i'm just really scared of like what if i vomit or something

Can you hold your nose once you gulp the sn and afterwards chew a mint or candy like i've read on some testimonials?

 

[hdead]

I'm in Australia but i'm going to be substituing it with a different antidepressant i forgot the name but it's one of the ones listed

FYI the medicine called for is a benzodiazepine, not an antidepressant! All the medicine ending with '-zepam' and '-zolam' are benzos. Generally used as sedatives and anxyolitics.

Wishing you a safe and peaceful passage, though I still wish things could turn out for the better for you. Take care.

 

[ctb_warrior]

FYI the medicine called for is a benzodiazepine, not an antidepressant! All the medicine ending with '-zepam' and '-zolam' are benzos. Generally used as sedatives and anxyolitics.

Wishing you a safe and peaceful passage, though I still wish things could turn out for the better for you. Take care.

Also the ones that end with Pam

Lorazepam
Clonazepam etc

 

[maggineko]

Wishing you all the love and sweetness before you go! Safe travels, lovely!

 

[Braindead Girl]

Wishing you all the love and sweetness before you go! Safe travels, lovely!

Your pfp made me genuinely laugh thank you it's amazing