Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[orange]

9. I want to do it today, but probably won't.

 

[halfbloodprince93]

It varies. Usually, I'm somewhere between a 7 and a 10. On really good days I may be a 6 (but those days are rare).

 

[apoptosis]

Right now? Like a four, although it will change very quickly when I'm alone with my thoughts and not mindlessly switching between apps on my phone

 

[Throwaway8675309]

8-10.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

6 or 7.
(Sh tw)

Not terrible but I relapsed on sh after being clean for a bit. Made me realize my brain is utterly fucked because the moment after the act makes me feel very calm and relieved, and is one of the only things that helps me reduce my slightly agitated neutrality that I'm constantly coasting in.

 

[noname223]

LIke a 3,5. Finally I feel less manic. I currently don't struggle that much with suicidality rather than manic symptoms. So in some sense I hijack my own thread. I think barely anyone would reply to a rate your manic symptoms thread.
I reduced my antidepressant. Maybe this helped. Moreover I relaxed the whole day. I have not made anything productive. I can't do that every day like today. There will come days with way way more stress and I am really scared about that. I hope the reduction of my AD is a help. It is so exhaustive to be on the edge of a mania. And I really worry about it cause this could be the final nail in my coffin. The pressure is pretty high. And it was my idea to quit the mood stabilizer.
I am still really fragile. But there is a little progress compared to yesterday. I hope so much this will continue...

 

[Artemis7]

9

 

[Squiddy]

8. Realizing just how low my self esteem is. I was looking up the definition of certain words and my brain kept calling me an idiot for not knowing them and having to look them up yet again because of my stupid memory issues. I feel like I can't learn anything without forgetting it seconds later and when I do try to learn things, sometimes I can't focus on it enough.

I lose hope day after day and am waiting to get down to 0% hope, then all that will be left is my fear of what comes after death and my SI. Once I lose those, there will be nothing keeping me here

 

[symphony]

8. Hurting a lot and thinking constantly about CTB but not so desperate that I feel like I need to do it right this second.

 

[Circles]

7. Got off my meds for a couple days and feel somewhat surprisingly 'better' despite some of my problems feeling like they're getting worse.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

I'd say 5. I don't necessarily think my suicidal ideations are terrible. Obviously it's unhealthy for anyone to think about taking their own demise into their own hands. I'm more over the monotonous cycle that is life. My days blend together, I need something new in my life to spark some serotonin.

 

[UnravelingWinter]

8. Just waiting on the wait period for my crypto to be over so I can hopefully buy N soon.

 

[DraktarLim]

1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.

I'm just waiting for the right moment. i have everything i need already, so i would say 8. The suicidal thoughts are constantly in my head, even when I'm at work.

 

[Chiisai]

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

7

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

10. It is pure torture now. I cannot do it anymore. Why do I have to beg for my own surrender?

 

[Of The Universe]

Pretty high. I feel I have no choice. This life is no good.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

6

 

[CommitSudoku]

10, not taking tonight well and being alone is toxic for me. Feel like I might get sick from the mix of anxiety and constantly thinking how I'd be better off hanging and then thinking again of starting a new week and feeling even more sick, then reading what my dad texts and feeling guilt that I can't deal and I feel more sick and I'm just crying alone lol I don't know how to deal with it, I don't even know what's stopping me tonight. Only I'm mourning my loss.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

I'm about a 6/7 but it's been increasing steadily over the last few months and I don't think that'll stop any time soon

 

[Hurt]

8

 

[LucieInTheDark]

7, thinking about planning a suicide in a way that hurts the least people possible

 

[Squiddy]

6.5. I ended up breaking down a few days ago and taking weed. I was waiting to find a job first just in case they want to drug test me, but I think I'm just going to search for one that doesn't. Weed made me feel a lot better. My ctb thoughts are still high, but a little more bearable after taking it

 

[allesistgut]

8

 

[S like Siren]

10...i'm 100% ready to die and end all this shit,all this cruel pain that i didn't desearve it,,i want go,i want die with all myself if only my attempts worked!!!!uffff i hate still breathing

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

8/9. Highest in a long time.

 

[SpaceCadet]

10 fuck this world

 

[suicidesheep31]

7. It is increasing again...

 

[Squiddy]

7. My therapist started doing trauma therapy with me yesterday and it hurt. I was in so much emotional pain yesterday that I had to take a benzo that was prescribed to me a few years ago. I really don't want to continue with it as I don't think I'm ready to rip off the bandages just yet as I have other stressors and having that on top of them might drive me to ctb. Just thinking about it has me anxious. Fuck PTSD

 

[allesistgut]

9