Random thoughts

[Johnnythefox]

Some years ago I was in London for the day, it was summer time. I had a walk around the place, and outside one of the tube stations a girl approached me. She must have been in her early twenties, and was obviously homeless. She looked as if she had been down a coal mine as she was filthy, she had the most beautiful eyes and long hair and I could see that she would be extremely attractive underneath all that dirt. It was an extremely busy area being London, with people darting everywhere. All she said to me was "can you help me?" I could only say "what happened to you?" she never asked for money and I can't remember if I gave her some. I've never forgotten her and often wonder what became of her, I wished I had helped her..... She haunts me still.

 

[Lra888]

I'm having the absolute worst day I've had in a long time, so depressed it hurts and I realize there's no hope. Just want to die so bad. Had a very shitty therapy session this week that made me feel much worse. Trapped in a very bad living situation that I need to get out of but no where to go that I'd feel safe and comfortable. Cold as fuck outside. Have a shitty job that I feel I will be fired from very soon because I'm completely falling apart. I think my medication (Lexapro and klonopin) are making me worse - depressed and extremely tired yet sleep is always difficult. Feel so bad. Will have to call an emergency number later maybe. I cannot keep going. I wish I could kill my self right now but I just don't have any decent means to do so.

 

[azucaramargo]

I'm so fucking suicidal. I need out. I can't leave my son. I'm fucking trapped. Help me I'm in hell...

I'm with you, Fucking Loving It. You're not alone, and people love you, if that makes you feel any better. I am with you, tonight. And, always.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Thirty eight years ago today since he was shot down, I remember that day well. I was fifteen years old.

 

[longingforrelease]

Some years ago I was in London for the day, it was summer time. I had a walk around the place, and outside one of the tube stations a girl approached me. She must have been in her early twenties, and was obviously homeless. She looked as if she had been down a coal mine as she was filthy, she had the most beautiful eyes and long hair and I could see that she would be extremely attractive underneath all that dirt. It was an extremely busy area being London, with people darting everywhere. All she said to me was "can you help me?" I could only say "what happened to you?" she never asked for money and I can't remember if I gave her some. I've never forgotten her and often wonder what became of her, I wished I had helped her..... She haunts me still.

Thanks for sharing that man. I've read some of your other posts and you have a real knack for being able capture in your writing a past moment. There are so many suffering people out there. But the thing that grabbed me was your "she haunts me still." I get you brother. I really do. I think many of us are driven here in no small measure by moments that haunt us. Little things we might have done differently, other choices me might have made. Opportunities missed. There is one image seared into my brain that will never go away. It's the look on my daughter's face when we sat her down on the couch... I can barely type this it hurts so much to recall it... to tell her that daddy had to move out. She was 8. As far as she knew life was perfect. She'd never seen her parents fight or even argue. But my wife discovered my infidelity in such a way that there was no possibility of us ever working it out. (It was really bad, what and the way she found out.) So that day, like any other as far as my daughter knew, we sat her down and I told I had to move out. Her little family was broken. I fucked them over so badly man. And that look of confused disbelief and a "no it's not true!" look on my child's little face. I just can't express how much I hate myself for the pain that was in her face. Haunting is exactly what it is. The image of my daughter's face is like a ghost that jumps out at me from time to time, without warning. Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. You just struck a nerve. I hope you find peace from all that haunts you my friend.

 

[longingforrelease]

I'm so fucking suicidal. I need out. I can't leave my son. I'm fucking trapped. Help me I'm in hell...

I'm so sorry. I wish had a way of comforting you. Just know I relate to your concern for your child. I wrestle with that every day. I'm just sorry you have to confront that same dilemma. It's a fucker.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Thanks for sharing that man. I've read some of your other posts and you have a real knack for being able capture in your writing a past moment. There are so many suffering people out there. But the thing that grabbed me was your "she haunts me still." I get you brother. I really do. I think many of us are driven here in no small measure by moments that haunt us. Little things we might have done differently, other choices me might have made. Opportunities missed. There is one image seared into my brain that will never go away. It's the look on my daughter's face when we sat her down on the couch... I can barely type this it hurts so much to recall it... to tell her that daddy had to move out. She was 8. As far as she knew life was perfect. She'd never seen her parents fight or even argue. But my wife discovered my infidelity in such a way that there was no possibility of us ever working it out. (It was really bad, what and the way she found out.) So that day, like any other as far as my daughter knew, we sat her down and I told I had to move out. Her little family was broken. I fucked them over so badly man. And that look of confused disbelief and a "no it's not true!" look on my child's little face. I just can't express how much I hate myself for the pain that was in her face. Haunting is exactly what it is. The image of my daughter's face is like a ghost that jumps out at me from time to time, without warning. Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. You just struck a nerve. I hope you find peace from all that haunts you my friend.

I can totally relate to the pain it causes the kids and ourselves. My two were only six and four I think (I've lost track of time). Must be eighteen years now and still the wounds are raw.

 

[Johnnythefox]

There is currently more than twice the number of guests than members viewing the site just now. Why don't they sign up and come in? Or do you think many have a morbid curiosity about the mindset of the members on here?

 

[Tyuiop]

There is currently more than twice the number of guests than members viewing the site just now. Why don't they sign up and come in? Or do you think many have a morbid curiosity about the mindset of the members on here?

Every site has it's lurkers. Here they are probably just reading about methods. This site shows up on google if you search certain methods, that's how i found it.

 

[samsays89]

I passed out and then woke up and was crying and not ok. My dog moved from her favorite spot on the couch to lay next to me.

I know it's not a good idea to get a dog when your close but if you volunteer at a dog shelter you can feel love. They will love you so much just for letting them I did it before and they are smart and understand like 95% of their day is nothing but then someone comes and lets them and they are so happy.

If there was a God then I never would have met strays that had so many ticks that their ears were just bulges. Dogs don't deserve to suffer. Just pet a dog. Sorry drunk I'm done.

 

[mattwitt]

Being rejected doesn't feel very nice at all : (

 

[Fucking loving it]

I'm in such a fucking foul mood

 

[longingforrelease]

I'm in such a fucking foul mood

yep, been there for a couple of days now...

 

[Dead Meat]

Physically, mentally, emotionally DOOMED.

 

[Rose]

The person who I am can never be happy with life

 

[Xerxes]

Why do I strive to be happy when I know it ends in a few hours.

 

[longingforrelease]

Why do I strive to be happy when I know it ends in a few hours.

I've asked myself that same question. It's weird ins't it?

 

[weedoge]

Every site has it's lurkers. Here they are probably just reading about methods. This site shows up on google if you search certain methods, that's how i found it.

There's that and also the "currently online" stat is misleading on a forum, the period for a user being deemed as online since they last opened a page can be modified in the settings and so it might be many people popping in and out just to get a little bit of info as you said

 

[lost illusions]

Head ache + seatbelt chime fml
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding a moment of silence, ding ding ding ding

 

[Misanthrope]

Just pondering if it is worth sending my vomit covered sheets to my local mp. Pointing out since he is partly responsible for the cut in my support hours maybe he could could clean them up for me? I ponder such stupid shit sometimes...

 

[Tyuiop]

Hate the weather in here... Everything is full of mud, this is supposed to be winter, with the show snowing and the sun shining, but global warming has fucked it up. Also hate that I have to work, my job is stupid. Just dumb, a monkey could do it.

 

[Roulette]

I feel like the only one who doesn't drink alcohol. The taste makes me want to cry. I wonder what that "buzz" feeling is like, as well as being drunk. Is alcohol something you have to force yourself to drink and it eventually becomes tolerable? Or is it something people like from the get-go.

I blame sugar for this

 

[Jodes]

Just pondering if it is worth sending my vomit covered sheets to my local mp. Pointing out since he is partly responsible for the cut in my support hours maybe he could could clean them up for me? I ponder such stupid shit sometimes...

I'd say no, but might be the ony thing that gets a reaction

 

[longingforrelease]

Just pondering if it is worth sending my vomit covered sheets to my local mp. Pointing out since he is partly responsible for the cut in my support hours maybe he could could clean them up for me? I ponder such stupid shit sometimes...

I like the way you think!

 

[Tyuiop]

I feel like the only one who doesn't drink alcohol. The taste makes me want to cry. I wonder what that "buzz" feeling is like, as well as being drunk. Is alcohol something you have to force yourself to drink and it eventually becomes tolerable? Or is it something people like from the get-go.

I blame sugar for this

Mix some alcohol with cola or juice and then it's tolerable. And you have to get used to it, i have also mixed it with syrup. Cider is also tasty, it has a low alcohol content.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I hate how I'm constantly physically tired...

 

[Roulette]

Mix some alcohol with cola or juice and then it's tolerable. And you have to get used to it, i have also mixed it with syrup. Cider is also tasty, it has a low alcohol content.

Ooh okay, that syrup idea sounds interesting though, I'll give that a go

 

[Johnnythefox]

It is my sincere contention that anyone who can be totally adjusted to our society is in greater need of psychiatric analysis and treatment than anyone else.
Jimmy Reid.

 

[sólstafir]

can anyone live my life for me just please :c

 

[Johnnythefox]