Random thoughts

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Note to self: stop reading and thinking about China.

 

[TriggerHappy]

CAN ANYONE ORGANISE THIS CHAIR FOR US - WE CAN HAVE A GET TOGETHER (ONLY 1 CHAIR REQUIRED - AND REALLY PUT THE THING TO THE TEST...?!)

 

[http-410]

These neighbors and their noise are unbearable. It sounds like the noise is coming from everywhere. This is the second time I've pulled myself up to go outside to have some peace, it's still noisy and I'm exhausted.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

CAN ANYONE ORGANISE THIS CHAIR FOR US - WE CAN HAVE A GET TOGETHER (ONLY 1 CHAIR REQUIRED - AND REALLY PUT THE THING TO THE TEST...?!)

View attachment 67452

I don't believe in magic, but place it under a strong branch and I'm in.

 

[http-410]

How can it be that some people suffer even though they did everything right and others have a comparatively peaceful exit? Will I be one of the former?

 

[Lmd]

If I stay alive when summer comes then I'll have to wait until autumn to CTB. The idea of turning one year in this forum is making me sick.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Tv shows and films should have intelligence ratings not age ratings. I can't understand half the stuff I watch.

 

[Rue89]

I feel ready, but at the same time scared as hell. Soon.

 

[http-410]

It's silly. Even coming here is stupid. I know what I need to know, so what am I still doing here? It's almost laughable. I keep myself trapped in a vicious circle. No, not yet. I don't know what I'm waiting for. Maybe I need confirmation that I have failed, maybe it's something else.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've been having such great fun with New Pokémon Snap. I've had so many memories of watching a friend of mine playing the original that to finally play a new one for myself is unreal, it's like nostalgia incarnate. I wonder if this is me going full boomer. I'd rather die than become that though even though I'm quite well on my way to having that mentality...

To be clear, I mean no disrespect towards actual baby boomers. Just the sort of elitism that comes with prioritizing older material over newer things. I've always hated those kinds of people but for the past few years I've found I can't help it. Things I thought were stupid as a kid are still bringing me joy because it reminds me of when those were some of my biggest problems. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug and it's also legal and profitable even though it's also dangerously addictive...

 

[Echo]

I got the jab today. AstraZeneca.
I could have waited a week and been eligible for the RNA vaccines, but one of the reasons i took the appointment was the possibility- however rare- of dying.

C'mon, do it, whatever gods are out there, i've given you the perfect "in" to take me out- no one would ask questions!

I know i have some type of reaction to it- my arm lit up on fire after i received the jab….

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Mondays are the worst!

Everyday is the worst! Everyone is a potential enemy,

 

[Lucien]

Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me man? Did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?

- John Milton, 'Paradise Lost'

 

[Echo]

Jab side effects.

Are they worth it? …………. YES.

Do they suck balls? ……….. Also affirmative.

Just saying.

 

[Rue89]

I'm sorry.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Jab side effects.

Are they worth it? …………. YES.

Do they suck balls? ……….. Also affirmative.

Just saying.

Yep injections certainly suck the big pink unwashed root !!! giggle :-) .

 

[Carrotcake]

The food here is shit so on the bright side I might lose some weight while I'm here.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Note to self: stop reading and thinking about China.

Good idea GenesandEnviroment, Start thinking about pushing the Fire button on the Nuke heading in their direction!!! Yeah! That's what you get for Clogging up eBay with your cheap sweatshop made counterfeit Crap! And 3-2-1-FIRE Genes
Oh No! They've got Carrot cake!

 

[http-410]

Wasted another useless day. I don't even feel that bad, I just feel numb. I'm not sure that's better than the excruciating pain, probably not. Sooner or later, the pain will return. A never ending circle.

(Almost) nothing matters. If therapy ended now, I probably wouldn't care. I still need to get rid of the embarrassing stuff. Even looking at my ticket doesn't do anything to me except remind me to make it before the expiration date.

I'm not looking forward to the appointment this week at all. I won't be able to be honest, think or feel. I'm a wandering shell. If this state lasts longer, will I make it in this condition or will I be too numb for that? Is indifference the key? Should I do it when the pain returns? And if so, where? I wish hotels would open.

What do I want? I want N. Just that.

It's all so silly.

I don't know what I'm doing and which direction I'm heading. All I know is that I'm sinking.

 

[KleinerWolf]

RANDOM THOUGHT 1

Sometimes i would appear or attempt to be optimistic about things,
even though things are rather bad.

but like right afterwards i would think to myself like why am I still here,
to endure some other people's life?

I'm deeply unhappy with what Im dealing with.
As I like to say, It's not good for me.



RANDOM THOUGHT 2
sometimes I couldn't help fantasize how much a relief and surprise it would be, if a country actually willing to take me in on basis of freedom-seeking.
"he just wants a frozen coke?" well, I just want to be free from China and leave it behind, but apparently to emigrate away is a privilege nowadays, despite my 10 years of struggle to no avail.

It annoys me when some russian dude protests in Australia supporting putin.
If he likes it so much he should honestly just go back to Russia.
Communism is so bad. It burdens and chain me down.

 

[signifying nothing]

Go and see things to be
And chase away the energy
Given time, over
I am gone
No hope to die
Systemic crashes
Hidden walls, feelings
Sinking away

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I haven't even drawn anything in months I'm honestly more intimidated than ever. I think it's been like a year since I made my last self indulgent blog comic thing that I've kept to myself all this time. Why does creating have to take so much physical effort? Why can't things just exist when I think of them? I'm so hungry.

 

[signifying nothing]

Shredded lessons
Desires fed to Hell
Standing beside a watershed moment encased in doom
My breath the only sound
Your ear, my hand, our distance
Forever between us this hole
Why bother?

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I threw my back out putting together my couch. I cant believe I'm old now): Where has my youth gone? On a completely opposite note, I'm craving a glass of apple juice with a bowl of yogurt and honey(:

 

[http-410]

There's no silence. Not in my head, not outside. Feeling worse today.

Even though I have my ticket, I'd like to sit next to the tracks now. The certainty that one can end everything at any time by taking a step would reassure me. No fasting, no suffering for 20 minutes. I need to see, hear and feel it. Weird when the thought of lying there completely shredded is a relieving one. Is my brain broken or is this a reasoned response? It's everywhere. I need to get out, but I'm too exhausted.

 

[signifying nothing]

Grain and water
A soup, a saviour
An ass, a child.
Slit open indefinitely.
Cause and offence.
Split the sky with forks.
Race the trees.
My life is open.

 

[Fehler]

I was thinking of starting fasting now in case tomorrow I had the courage to ctb but in the end I ended up eating more dinner than usual...

 

[Homecoming]

I wish WW3 with nuclear weapon starts this year between China and America

 

[Lucien]

The regret won't leave. It condemns every thought as inhuman. It tries to convince me that only eternal punishment is sufficient.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

My wifi went down in the entire neighborhood at 3am today at the good part of Aladdin:,) It's finally back up but i'm sad the corner store that sells tacos was closed today and I missed lots of people's responses. Happy to have it back up and I hope nobody thought I was ignoring them when I was able to get on the site but not see anything:( Tomorrow I'm getting my tacos even if it's for my breakfast:D