My blood pressure is so low due to the medication, my brain is getting deprived of oxygen. I'm like half way there with partial already without even touching a rope lol.
I think UK law says 80 decibels is the limit for motorbikes. Mine is well over 100 with the new exhaust. FUCK YOU COPPERS, COME AND GET ME!!!!!! don't.
Woke up last night with nausea and tachycardia. Even combining pills didn't help calm me down or force sleep. It's just daunting. Once again, I wonder if I can bring myself to puke my guts out for 20 minutes or be minced into seconds.
"I feel uneasy about tomorrow; I do not know what will happen. I really hope it will be a normal and calm day, but hope is just a feeling and has no influence on reality. Something bad likely will happen."
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KleinerWolf, Dead Meat, UseItOrLoseIt and 2 others
This forum is boring AF. So much pathetic, repetitive melodrama... Retarded fears about the fucking afterlife! I've got my method. I've got a couple of interesting months left. Stop posting, just stop posting, you dumb fucker!
I would look at people and think they had great starting position,
but they say they don't identify with it,
they changed it, which is good for them, but 180 degree drastic change, inevitably making their life harder.
I wouldn't wanna be politically incorrect so I'll leave them figure it out themselves.
Much struggles ahead.
Certain subreddits and the views of people there make me sick.
As if the only way to support a suicidal person is to force the ambulance and police on them who pressure them to "voluntarily" go to the loony bin. After OP announced that their partner have discharged themselves, someone has written to the OP to immediately call the rescue again if they threatens suicide again (this post received many upvotes). Of course, I don't know the background and can't judge, but how on earth is locking people up going to help.
today I went to stand at the top of my city's most notorious suicide spot, a fairly high bridge over a motorway, in order to try and see if I have the guts to do the jump at beachy head next week and also out of a morbid curiosity. I actually had a lot of fun as the view was really nice and there was a lot of pretty scenery around it and I would quite like to go there again.
Replace my window, handyman. I like how you sweat. We both need much more than just one new window in our lives, don't we, buddy? I'll take what I can get. I like how you sweat...
Why am i unable to sleep night after night and day after day? At some point i'm going to go mental from this…
*********
I'm hungry.
There's no easy food in the house. No safe food.
I hate being hungry.
*********
My boyfriend is treating me like i'm worthless… maybe i'm letting him because i just don't care anymore? Maybe my dog is so close to his end- i know my own date is nearing- i figure let him bully me around with his nasty tones and careless hurtful words… they simply keep me on track.
*********
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puppet_nihilist, FuneralCry, Dead Meat and 1 other person
So apparently you can't edit or delete your messages on Facebook Messenger once you sent them. Oh crap. I'm so shanked.
All I can do now is sit and wait until they wake up and read all the BS drunk me send them. Including that one message with the borderline annguished declaration of love and "can I talk to you please". The bloody suspense. The horror.
I want to be myself. The best way to be myself is to not let others's actions and thoughts and words touch you.
Horny. I'll wake up tomorrow, too embarrassed by what I just posted. I have to remember how good it felt when I posted it. I hope I'm real horny tomorrow. I'm a really different person when horny.
I can't understand why humans don't just eat, sleep, horny. All the things can be solved by being so super horny, tap water should be infected with something that makes me horny. The whole world should be just a huge horny. I don't understand how people can call themselves sexual and not horny all the time. Genitals are for hornying. Either horny all the time or don't have genitals. Genitals should be banned from work places and public places. You don't bring a gun or a robot into McDonald, why would you bring a rape weapon or an incubator? Unless you agree that the world should just be a huge horny. Just leave them home. And why do babies have genitals? No one wants to horny babies. Only adults who are willing to horny everyday should be allowed genitals.
People shouldn't work 8h/5d, they should horny. People should be paid 1000€ after every horny.
If it isn't a solution, it's a problem. If it isn't horny, it's thorny.
Ah, I really want to live in a world of horny. I really want to live. Someone said this is a world of afterlife, like hell or a before-world, like a test. Or maybe this is all a fever dream...
I close my eyes, you close your eyes. But I need this, I need more. I know there is a way to get through to you. I'm offering you protection. Am I getting through to you?
Today at school we played benchball, which I haven't played since I was about 8. Had so much bloody fun and felt like a kid again, now I'm missing year 2 so bad. Why does life get so boring when you grow up?
I bought one bottle of vodka today... I thought it's gonna be enough. But no!!!... I drank it all and went to buy another one. I hate myself and I don't have much money, but alcohol makes me forget everything. It reduces my fear, my pain, my OCD... But living as an addict is not living. And I don't think I can stop:(
Reactions:
puppet_nihilist, Dead Meat and motel rooms
I'm kind of nervous for E3. If they announce too many hype games for 2022 then I might actually have to postpone my CTB til after next year if I can't beat them in time. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. So far the latest movie release I'm excited for will be Jurassic World Dominion in 2022. Hopefully there won't be too many games I actually want to play.
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