motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
I have read a few posts on here warning against shallow drowning, and I don't understand why. Drowning has become one of the top three or four preferred methods for ctb. It is pretty much a guarantee, and a lot of people die in a bathtub, lake, jacuzzi, or ocean. I have read on it and it seems it only really hurts if you're fighting it.

You're confusing shallow-water blackout (my method) with regular drowning...
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
I went and looked it up and now I feel stupid haha. Do you mind explaining why this is your chosen method?
Read post #18 in this thread. It's a bit long, but it's informative.
 
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Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
OP I had a similar concern. The coldness of it might triggermme to stop. If really really desperate, might do it but much harder I think with extra discomfort like that.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Let's PM so we don't hijack this guy's thread :)
I'd actually appreciate the discussion taking place in the open - everyone can learn this way. I might get something useful from it, who knows. But thank you for the consideration!
OP I had a similar concern. The coldness of it might triggermme to stop. If really really desperate, might do it but much harder I think with extra discomfort like that.
What were your ideas for getting past the cold shock discomfort? It's becoming increasingly difficult to get any decent sedatives around here.
 
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Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
I'd actually appreciate the discussion taking place in the open - everyone can learn this way. I might get something useful from it, who knows. But thank you for the consideration!

What were your ideas for getting past the cold shock discomfort? It's becoming increasingly difficult to get any decent sedatives around here.

I don't know. Running for a bit beforehand might help some. But if it's freezing cold it will still be a shock I think. Just guessing here.
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
We were talking about bath tub drowning so idk if will be of any help 😅 mainly taking benzos, sleeping pills, alcohol before and things like that. Also how painful it would be to not be able to take a breath and whether benzos will help with that. We don't know.
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
We were talking about bath tub drowning so idk if will be of any help 😅 mainly taking benzos, sleeping pills, alcohol before and things like that. Also how painful it would be to not be able to take a breath and whether benzos will help with that. We don't know.
My main concern with that would be:

1. getting so drunk I vomit or thrash about and end up splashing water out of the tub, thus surviving but with brain damage from oxygen deprivation
2. in a benzo blackout, getting out of the tub or otherwise letting that pesky survival instinct rear its silly head

If pain is an issue, consider that you can't feel pain if you're unconscious. The issue is being certain you don't wake up. How...? The mystery we are all trying to answer.
 
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Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
We were talking about bath tub drowning so idk if will be of any help 😅 mainly taking benzos, sleeping pills, alcohol before and things like that. Also how painful it would be to not be able to take a breath and whether benzos will help with that. We don't know.

Almost all drowning accounts don't mention pain being significant. So imo I doubt it would be very painful. Unfortunately I don't have a bathtub or pool!
I
My main concern with that would be:

1. getting so drunk I vomit or thrash about and end up splashing water out of the tub, thus surviving but with brain damage from oxygen deprivation
2. in a benzo blackout, getting out of the tub or otherwise letting that pesky survival instinct rear its silly head

If pain is an issue, consider that you can't feel pain if you're unconscious. The issue is being certain you don't wake up. How...? The mystery we are all trying to ananswer

I have had the same concern with bathtub. Im about 6'1 so relatively tall and I feel most tubs are so small I might just fall out of it if the body does thrash at all . A pool would solve that problem.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
My main concern with that would be:

1. getting so drunk I vomit or thrash about and end up splashing water out of the tub, thus surviving but with brain damage from oxygen deprivation
2. in a benzo blackout, getting out of the tub or otherwise letting that pesky survival instinct rear its silly head

If pain is an issue, consider that you can't feel pain if you're unconscious. The issue is being certain you don't wake up. How...? The mystery we are all trying to answer.
So for the thrashing I have two somewhat solutions. 1. Attach feet to the fawcett. When you pass out or get drowsy you'll fall backwards and underwater. You can try sit up again but it will be hard if disorientated and hands also tied together. 2. Kneel in the tub, have a weight on the floor of tub and attach your neck to the weight by a rope or something so when pass out or drowsy your face will fall below the water line. If hands tied behind your back should be ok? I also would be concerned about splashing and getting water out of the tub but really if you attach yourself how much would you splash out? I don't think it would actually be a significant amount.
Almost all drowning accounts don't mention pain being significant. So imo I doubt it would be very painful. Unfortunately I don't have a bathtub or pool!
I


I have had the same concern with bathtub. Im about 6'1 so relatively tall and I feel most tubs are so small I might just fall out of it if the body does thrash at all . A pool would solve that problem.
It is definitely painful to hold your breath. Fill your sink with water and submerge your face. See how long you last before the pain hits to urge you to breathe.
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
I also only have a bathtub; do you mind sharing how you plan on not resurfacing? From what I have read, you will drift off after about 5 to 8 minutes. I have considered taking Ambien to help drift off faster. In fact, there have been some deaths of people falling asleep in the bathtub after takin a sedative. My only concern is I built a tolerance to Ambien and the last time, it didn't work so well. Like hanging, it takes about 30 minutes to ensure death.
@Ta555 How do you plan on not resurfacing or had you discussed that in your post immediately prior to this one?
 
Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
So for the thrashing I have two somewhat solutions. 1. Attach feet to the fawcett. When you pass out or get drowsy you'll fall backwards and underwater. You can try sit up again but it will be hard if disorientated and hands also tied together. 2. Kneel in the tub, have a weight on the floor of tub and attach your neck to the weight by a rope or something so when pass out or drowsy your face will fall below the water line. If hands tied behind your back should be ok? I also would be concerned about splashing and getting water out of the tub but really if you attach yourself how much would you splash out? I don't think it would actually be a significant amount.

It is definitely painful to hold your breath. Fill your sink with water and submerge your face. See how long you last before the pain hits to urge you to breathe.

Have you never held your breath underwater for fun? I wouldn't consider it that painful. But yes after roughly 30 secs to a minute or so the urge to breath is very uncomfortable and is essentially impossible to resist.
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
Have you never held your breath underwater for fun? I wouldn't consider it that painful. But yes after roughly 30 secs to a minute or so the urge to breath is very uncomfortable and is essentially impossible to resist.
Yeah I've been trying to hold my breath many times lately to see what it's like. It gets painful the longer i hold. Now maybe what if I don't make myself wait until it's painful, just until it's mildly uncomfortable and then open my mouth and let the water run in? I don't think it changes anything because one of two thing will happen, either the water will cause my larynx to spasm and shut causing me to keep suffocating, or my lungs start filling with water. Both of these will result in pain.
@Ta555 How do you plan on not resurfacing or had you discussed that in your post immediately prior to this one?
You can't guarantee to not resurface, but if you're disorientated enough I don't think you'd have the motor skills to do so. Especially if your feet are tied to the fawcett. But of course you can. The only way to not resurface is to have a weight at the bottom and attach your head to it and then secure your hands. But this way you have to be conscious to do it so it defeats the purpose of taking the meds for passing out.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Update: have made no progress toward acquiring the remainder. Edited the plan slightly - no naproxen, dextromethorphan. Have added 40 lb weighted vest to be worn upon jumping.
Update: now have completed gathering 2g of powder which in parts tested positive. Made some errors - yield is slightly smaller than it could have been. Considering using 3g instead.

The oxy will take longer to obtain but I am feeling optimistic about this.
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Yeah I've been trying to hold my breath many times lately to see what it's like. It gets painful the longer i hold. Now maybe what if I don't make myself wait until it's painful, just until it's mildly uncomfortable and then open my mouth and let the water run in? I don't think it changes anything because one of two thing will happen, either the water will cause my larynx to spasm and shut causing me to keep suffocating, or my lungs start filling with water. Both of these will result in pain.

You can't guarantee to not resurface, but if you're disorientated enough I don't think you'd have the motor skills to do so. Especially if your feet are tied to the fawcett. But of course you can. The only way to not resurface is to have a weight at the bottom and attach your head to it and then secure your hands. But this way you have to be conscious to do it so it defeats the purpose of taking the meds for passing out.
How soon would they make you pass out? You could hold them in your mouth during the securing hands and head step, then once that step is complete, swallow with your head underwater.

I've got a similar concern - taking sedatives to help with the survival instinct at exactly the moment when I still have a few minutes of lucidity left to properly execute (ha...may I present to you the punderful waste of breath that is myself) the injection which is crucial not to fuck up. Trying to determine the best timing - I plan to do an inert IV test run with most potentiators etc, just to be sure I can actually register and hit on that level of sedation.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
How soon would they make you pass out? You could hold them in your mouth during the securing hands and head step, then once that step is complete, swallow with your head underwater.

I've got a similar concern - taking sedatives to help with the survival instinct at exactly the moment when I still have a few minutes of lucidity left to properly execute (ha...may I present to you the punderful waste of breath that is myself) the injection which is crucial not to fuck up. Trying to determine the best timing - I plan to do an inert IV test run with most potentiators etc, just to be sure I can actually register and hit on that level of sedation.
Benzos take 10-30 mins to kick in depending which ones so it's kind of impractical. I wanted to like sit in the tub and take them and then just fall backwards when I get drowsy but body floats goddamnit.
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Benzos take 10-30 mins to kick in depending which ones so it's kind of impractical. I wanted to like sit in the tub and take them and then just fall backwards when I get drowsy but body floats goddamnit.
It shouldn't take 30 min to secure your hands, feet, and head though. I'd practise the tying up part with and without water and time myself. Then test the benzos you intend to use and note how long it takes before you can't continue functioning. Fit the former time within the latter and you're good to go.

Maybe a weighted blanket or several over your entire body would do the trick. I imagine that would get claustrophobic, though no matter once you're unconscious. Would probably absorb water too so adjust amount to fill tub.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
It shouldn't take 30 min to secure your hands, feet, and head though. I'd practise the tying up part with and without water and time myself. Then test the benzos you intend to use and note how long it takes before you can't continue functioning. Fit the former time within the latter and you're good to go.

Maybe a weighted blanket or several over your entire body would do the trick. I imagine that would get claustrophobic, though no matter once you're unconscious. Would probably absorb water too so adjust amount to fill tub.
I'm not gonna test the benzos because I don't want to be taking an overdose just for a test 😅 yeah I know it only takes like thirty secs or a min to tie yourself up but if I attach my head underwater straight after taking the pills there's no point coz they won't have kicked in and I'm already drowning. Currently my best idea is to sit kneeling in the tub, hands attached to a heavy weight at the bottom of the tub so I can't splash around and a weight around my neck so that as soon as I start getting drowsy or disorientated from the pills I just keep leaning/slumping forward with the weight and end up drowning myself like that. That's the best bath tub idea I have.
 
BrokenBliss

BrokenBliss

Invisible. Apparently.
Jan 11, 2022
522
If pain is an issue, consider that you can't feel pain if you're unconscious. The issue is being certain you don't wake up. How...? The mystery we are all trying to answer.
Just an observation from someone who lives with severe neuropathic spinal pain -- It is surely possible to feel it when you are unconscious. You'd be surprised how searingly sharp that blade can be.
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Update: isopropyl myristate arrived. Will create emulsion and test quetiapine. Next step after that is doing a full test run.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Update: I'm stupid and don't understand the difference between an emulsion and a solution. God damn. Hopefully this still works.
 
angiegirl30

angiegirl30

Student
Jan 20, 2022
112
Between the Morphine, oxy, Fentanyl, benzos and alcohol, I don't think you're going to need a backup of water. Especially with the gram of Fentanyl. It only take 800 micrograms to cause death.
NB: Please note that any responses to this ought not be considered spurring or encouraging suicide - just providing factual information for consenting adults to do with as they please. If you're uncomfortable providing or witnessing the exchange of such information, kindly exit the page. I will do this whether you offer your input or not - merely trying to sort out the details and determine the lowest risk of failure and fucking up my life.

I aim to combine CNS depression from polysubstance intake with a mechanical method - debating between jumping (20 metres, water below), lying down before a train, and either shallow water or regular drowning (post-substance intake). Only learnt of SWD recently from this site - so my knowledge is limited - seen posts saying alcohol etc would be counterproductive as the goal in SWD is hyperventilating. Wouldn't a stimulant such as coke or meth/amfetamin help in that case?

Hopefully someone with greater pharmacokinetic understanding than I will chime in regarding the inducers and inhibitors aspect. Responses from anyone with a modicum of reasoning ability welcome - which method combination (of the possibilities I mention herein) do you think would be most effective and why? Thank you in advance.

Currently leaning toward regular drowning as that involves no competing mechanisms - as seems to be the case with SWD - and there is lesser likelihood of interference (jump site is along train route - in either case, too many people around - unless I go at an odd hour). My only qualm with that is that the water will be freezing - temperature here has been -3 degrees or lower - highest recently was 8 and that was at midday. I fear that I will get one cm of skin wet and turn tail. At least with jumping there is no going back once your feet leave the platform. I hate to admit, but I am a coward - I don't believe I would actually make the jump.

Relevant inducers and inhibitors - items with asterisk are ones to which I have especial access and thus interest:

Cannabidiol - CYP2D6 inhibitor, avoid starting at T-4320, reintroduce at T-20 (?) ROA depending
*Glutathione - CYP2D6 inducer and CYP3A4 inhibitor, investigate further
Vitamin D - CYP3A4 inducer, avoid starting at T-4320
Pomegranate juice - CYP3A4 inhibitor
Starvation - CYP3A4 inducer, avoid beyond T-4320
Valerian - CYP3A4 inhibitor, investigate further
Vitamin B3 (niacin/amide) - CYP3A4 inhibitor and CYP2D6 inhibitor
*Trazodone - CYP3A4 substrate, investigate further

My proposed schedule is as follows. Items in bold are those I have not yet obtained - whole or in part. Time counts backward in minutes from the moment of last action.

T-4320 grapefruit juice 200mL thrice daily (CYP3A4 inhibitor)

T-80
  • two eggs, avocado, two white grapefruits with fibre, 1.48g black pepper (211mg x 7), 1.42g turmeric (284mg x 5) (CYP3A4 inhibitors, increased bioavailability of lipophilic substances)
  • 200mL white grapefruit juice with pulp (CYP3A4 inhibitor)
  • 250mL quinine / tonic water (CYP2D6 inhibitor, lengthens QT interval)
  • 4mg ondansetron x 1 (3 flip 5) (30 min til comeup, 2hr til peak) (CYP2D6 and CYP3A4 substrate)
  • travel (it takes about 60 minutes entirely by foot to get to my proposed location - all potential methods are in roughly the same area - 25 minutes cycling - however, some walking is required due to fence enclosure)
T-60
  • 800mg cimetidine 200mg x 4 po (35 min til comeup, 2hr til peak) (weak CYP3A4 and CYP2D6 inhibitor)
  • 500mg naproxen x 1
  • 50mL bismuth subsalicylate
  • 4mg ondansetron x 1 (CYP2D6 and CYP3A4 substrate)
  • 200mL white grapefruit juice with pulp (CYP3A4 inhibitor)
  • 250mL quinine / tonic water (CYP2D6 inhibitor, lengthens QT interval)
T-35
  • 150mL bismuth subsalicylate
  • 30mg dextromethorphan HBr 5mg x 6 (CYP2D6 and CYP3A4 substrate)
  • 50mg dimenhydrinate 50mg x 1
  • 24mg chlorpheniramine maleate 4mg x 6 (CYP2D6 and CYP3A4 substrate)
  • 50mg diphenhydramine 25mg x 2 (CYP2D6 inhibitor)
  • 3.3g sodium bicarbonate 550mg x 6 (taken now so as not to interfere with food digestion, but to prepare pH to decrease body's ability to excrete the pills)
T-10
  • remainder bismuth subsalicylate
  • 300mg morphineor equivalent (290mg po, 30mg rectal - 15mg in 3mL x 2 syringe) (CYP3A4 and CYP2D6 substrate)
    • 20mg oxycodone 10mg x 2
    • 300mg oxycodone 30mg x 10
  • 370mL (360 scale grams) 80 proof ethanol (330mL po, 40mL rectal) tampon (to prevent expulsion and insure absorption)
  • 40mg alprazolam 2mg x 10 po (CYP3A4 substrate)
  • 2mg alprazolam 1mg x 2 po (CYP3A4 substrate)
  • 4mg clonazepam 2mg x 2 (15 min til comeup, 1 hour til peak) po (CYP3A4 substrate)
T-0
  • 10 breaths hyperventilate - if regular drowning chosen, stand waist-deep so as to reduce the time necessary to swim
  • 2g fentanyl (uncertain as to exact quantity of active ingredient, hence the large amount - much is filler - 2g quota of which I have 1.05g powder comprised of separate batches that each tested F+) whilst holding breath iv 2.5 mL (two rigs) (CYP3A4 and CYP2D6 substrate)
  • jump into water / before train / swim
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Between the Morphine, oxy, Fentanyl, benzos and alcohol, I don't think you're going to need a backup of water. Especially with the gram of Fentanyl. It only take 800 micrograms to cause death.
Thanks for the reassurance - however I don't have 2g of pure fentanyl. It's 2g of powder sold as heroin that, in 0.2-0.5g batches, all tested negative for heroin and positive for containing some amount of fentanyl above the threshold for the test strips to detect any (20ug/mL IIRC). So for all I know it could be 200ug total. And I know I definitely lost some due to mechanical transfer - I didn't approach this process in the most intelligent or direct way, clearly...
 
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myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Update: I'm stupid and don't understand the difference between an emulsion and a solution. God damn. Hopefully this still works.
Update: Hope is a fucking cunt.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Seems increasingly less likely that I'll get the oxy. I've got one last possibility, but it involves an old junkie who sexually harassed me (hesitant to claim that term to describe what he did to me, but it's probably accurate. maybe? idk i feel like i'm overreacting) and tried to get me into sex trafficking and on a porn website. He gives me heebie jeebies. Not thrilled about the idea but fuck it all, I'll be dead soon anyway.

Will be using 2.5g or thereabouts - got one last brick to purchase - instead of 2g to make up for it. Tonight I will trial approx 50mg quetiapine or 2.6mL IPM solution.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
That went fine. Whatever. Now got to wait about ten days to be sure all secondary metabolites are out of my system before I do a full test run with 160mg q along with some others.
 
LADY007

LADY007

Specialist
Feb 25, 2020
373
honestly, unless you have sky-high tolerance, fentanyl OD alone is very peaceful, and very easy to achieve. just lock yourself in the bathroom so no one gets in there.
Where does one get Fentanyl without driving to the most dangerous part of town ???
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Where does one get Fentanyl without driving to the most dangerous part of town ???
you walk. only partly kidding. i biked sometimes too.

ask a homeless person where you can cop some dope. they'll probably think you're fuzz and run off with your money (true story, don't be like me kids). get smart and make acquaintances with people who use weed, likely someone in that circle uses party drugs like shrooms and molly, ask them about coke and you're all set. coke is truly the barrier between soft drugs party world and hard drugs shit sucks. and yeah shit sucks. sorry forget where i was going there.

okay i'm super high rn so maybe none of this will be making any sense but hopefully you catch my drift. thank fuck for auto spell check.
 
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