Venting My mom wants me to be “productive”

[melancholymallory03]

Yeah it's both your parents I just didn't want to do a case study to show to Mallory . It's all fucked up regardless.

Nearly all boomers/gen X are extremely narcissistic. This is why money and status is their number 1 priority.

I agree we are being socialized in a very very distasteful way.
Even myself I found myself with gold digger tendencies in my past and younger teens when looking for men, I root this in feeling like I never had a father to take care of me, so sometimes I sought that role in a partner. Fucked up I know…. Being more self aware now I am always very weary to just limit my interactions with people …. Especially those I think are already objectifying me or have bad morals, then I can be pretty malicious because apparently people with autism also have a strong sense of justice

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You can try to apply to the career center if it'll get your mom off your case for a brief time. Worst case scenario you don't even get a job but at least your mom can't say you didn't try. I've done similar things to get my mom to stop complaining too although even though I have a job now she still finds ways to complain and ask me to try to move up or get a better job. I always point out to her that I thought she was fine with me getting any job which usually is enough to get her to drop the point.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Asian parents are fucked up. Mine aren't even that bad compared to the ones in r/AsianParentStories. Other people have it much worse than me. Asian parents in general are narcissistic

Yeah I know. I'd still say it's trauma because you do say look at other Asian parents. I did the same with mine because I thought it was normal (not your situations, more psychological).

Try the route of the empty flat. Or say you'll get a flat mate to help pay for it or something. Anything is better than eviction (whether she pulls the trigger or not).

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'm gonna read this on Reddit !! My boss is Asian and she is one of the closest people in my life but she is cutthroat , all about business and very to the point and black and white. She's helped me but also makes me feel so attacked sometimes ….

Asian parents are fucked up. Mine aren't even that bad compared to the ones in r/AsianParentStories. Other people have it much worse than me. Asian parents in general are narcissistic

 

[sserafim]

You can try to apply to the career center if it'll get your mom off your case for a brief time. Worst case scenario you don't even get a job but at least your mom can't say you didn't try. I've done similar things to get my mom to stop complaining too although even though I have a job now she still finds ways to complain and ask me to try to move up or get a better job. I always point out to her that I thought she was fine with me getting any job which usually is enough to get her to drop the point.

Dude I have having Asian parents so much. What did I do to deserve this? I hate it. I hate how my mom always nags me

 

[melancholymallory03]

I have autism level 1 and I'm in the US. I don't know how much you would get for it over here

I've never heard of the levelling system ; this is so intriguing and seems kinda upsetting at the same time and impersonal though.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

You can try to apply to the career center if it'll get your mom off your case for a brief time. Worst case scenario you don't even get a job but at least your mom can't say you didn't try. I've done similar things to get my mom to stop complaining too although even though I have a job now she still finds ways to complain and ask me to try to move up or get a better job. I always point out to her that I thought she was fine with me getting any job which usually is enough to get her to drop the point.

She can only be a doctor or lawyer lmao. Her mum is narrow minded and narcissistic.

 

[sserafim]

I've never heard of the levelling system ; this is so intriguing and seems kinda upsetting at the same time and impersonal though.

Autism level 1 is Asperger's aka "high functioning" autism

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I agree we are being socialized in a very very distasteful way.
Even myself I found myself with gold digger tendencies in my past and younger teens when looking for men, I root this in feeling like I never had a father to take care of me, so sometimes I sought that role in a partner. Fucked up I know…. Being more self aware now I am always very weary to just limit my interactions with people …. Especially those I think are already objectifying me or have bad morals, then I can be pretty malicious because apparently people with autism also have a strong sense of justice

Why do you think I'm getting out of the property market? I can't take the people anymore. It destroys you.

 

[sserafim]

She can only be a doctor or lawyer lmao. Her mum is narrow minded and narcissistic.

She wanted me to be a doctor, but now she wants me to apply for this autism program. Ideally I'd be a doctor though so she can have free healthcare and someone to show off and brag about to her colleagues. It's the same for my dad. He expected/wanted me to go to medical school and become a doctor

 

[melancholymallory03]

She can only be a doctor or lawyer lmao. Her mum is narrow minded and narcissistic.

Is this true? The mom is only going to accept her if she's a doctor or a lawyer?
I want to eye roll myself into another dimension. This is so cruel , and stupid. Like imagine having a kid just to raise them to show off like medals and prizes . You're not an achievement you're a fucking person

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Autism level 1 is Asperger's aka "high functioning" autism

https://www.gov.uk/government/publi...ng-disabilities-in-england/chapter-4-benefits

This is for the UK but I believe in the US it's carried out by states rather than federally. See what your state can offer.

 

[sserafim]

Is this true? The mom is only going to accept her if she's a doctor or a lawyer?
I want to eye roll myself into another dimension. This is so cruel , and stupid. Like imagine having a kid just to raise them to show off like medals and prizes . You're not an achievement you're a fucking person

My parents wanted me to be a doctor and they want my sister to be a lawyer. Well, that's just how Asian parents view their children. They view them as trophies, and they show off their children's achievements and live through them. They view them as tools to gain money and achieve status

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Is this true? The mom is only going to accept her if she's a doctor or a lawyer?
I want to eye roll myself into another dimension. This is so cruel , and stupid. Like imagine having a kid just to raise them to show off like medals and prizes . You're not an achievement you're a fucking person

I get angry every time she makes a new post with her mother's antics. We are both September people as well - more reserved, like to plan things, etc. Her mum makes her life a living hell.

She wanted me to be a doctor, but now she wants me to apply for this autism program. Ideally I'd be a doctor though so she can have free healthcare and someone to show off and brag about to her colleagues. It's the same for my dad. He expected/wanted me to go to medical school and become a doctor

What's the autism programme?

 

[melancholymallory03]

Autism level 1 is Asperger's aka "high functioning" autism

Ohh ok , they removed Asperger's so just slapped me with ASD and showed me a 5 min video of quirky women

I wish all the funding was the same to be honest. The government acts as if there's levels and degrees to suffering we are all just suffering and some people better than others but needless to say we are suffering… I hope money falls from the sky one day

I get angry every time she makes a new post with her mother's antics. We are both September people as well - more reserved, like to plan things, etc. Her mum makes her life a living hell.

What's the autism programme?

September people? Like zodiac signs ? Oo
One of my friends is a Virgo and he is a big planner , and super organized.

 

[sserafim]

I get angry every time she makes a new post with her mother's antics. We are both September people as well - more reserved, like to plan things, etc. Her mum makes her life a living hell.

What's the autism programme?

This program for neurodivergent people where they pair you with companies recruiting for NDs

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Ohh ok , they removed Asperger's so just slapped me with ASD and showed me a 5 min video of quirky women

I wish all the funding was the same to be honest. The government acts as if there's levels and degrees to suffering we are all just suffering and some people better than others but needless to say we are suffering… I hope money falls from the sky one day

I hope bombs fall from the sky one day

 

[karmaisabitch]

You don't get that much. Minimum PIP for autism (level 1) here is about £300 a month. Even with mobolity issues it can go to £800 a month - it's all tax free but it's nothing. £800 a month lol - it's not even a studio (without bills!!).

I know it's very sad! I wish they can do better in America! They just food at sending our money to kill overseas. Some nasty government we have..of course this money is not enough but I don't know what to say

 

[Throwawayacc3]

This program for neurodivergent people where they pair you with companies recruiting for ND's

Ah ok. Makes sense.

 

[melancholymallory03]

I hope bombs fall from the sky one day

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I know it's very sad! I wish they can do better in America! They just food at sending our money to kill overseas. Some nasty government we have..of course this money is not enough but I don't know what to say

Budget for FY2024
The $886 billion National Defense Authorization Act is facing reconciliation of the House and Senate bills after passing both houses 27 July 2023; the conferees have to be chosen, next.

 

[melancholymallory03]

Why do you think I'm getting out of the property market? I can't take the people anymore. It destroys you.

humans are cruel :( animalistic and selfish…….
All we have is our love and livelihood to try to preserve but it seems that gets swept away from many of us, and at to young of an age sometimes.

 

[etherealgoddess]

My mom wants me to be "productive". She says that "this is no way to live" for her (me living off of her for the rest of her life) and she didn't envision her life to be like this. Either I apply for the autism job search/career program, or she evicts and (legally) severs ties with me (she gave me an eviction letter in February but she hasn't acted on it yet). I'm backed into a corner. Should I just bite the bullet and do it? I guess my time as a NEET will have to come to an end…ugh. I should be panicking right now but I don't feel anything at all. I think I've become completely apathetic to everything

I love how your mom is like, "This is no way to live for her," when you're the one who is literally on a suicide website and clearly depressed. I don't know why she's expecting her life to be different when she has a child with autism. It's on her for having a child and having to deal with the possibility of her child not being neurotypical or healthy. I know someone with autism who is 18, and their family is obviously trying to help them find a career path, but he's in no way independent. Being 18-years-old is the age that a neurotypical person is ready to be in the world on their own, not someone with autism and depression...

I'd say bite the bullet and get a job. Your mom sounds retarded, but you also have no choice. You don't need to panic. Just figure out the job search program.

 

[Burnout_Wizard]

Working under capitalism can suck and it does for most, but you can't avoid being exploited by the system while you exist in it. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. I can empathize with your situation, college graduate into 5 years as a NEET, and the job hunt has been grueling. You can try working for a bit to buy time while you figure out alternative paths, being a slave doesn't mean you can't be subversive against the system. Money can also be useful, try to achieve passive-income and live out the rest of your days as a NEET. Otherwise, do you have options if you get evicted?

 

[karmaisabitch]

Budget for FY2024
The $886 billion National Defense Authorization Act is facing reconciliation of the House and Senate bills after passing both houses 27 July 2023; the conferees have to be chosen, next.

Is this good? I really don't understand much about those topics but I know we have horrible government

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Is this good? I really don't understand much about those topics but I know we have horrible government

It's nearly a trillion dollars and it's being spent on DEFENCE. No it's not good for US Citizens or the world because they insist of starting wars left right and center for money, resources and control.

I love how your mom is like, "This is no way to live for her," when you're the one who is literally on a suicide website and clearly depressed. I don't know why she's expecting her life to be different when she has a child with autism. It's on her for having a child and having to deal with the possibility of her child not being neurotypical or healthy. I know someone with autism who is 18, and their family is obviously trying to help them find a career path, but he's in no way independent. Being 18-years-old is the age that a neurotypical person is ready to be in the world on their own, not someone with autism and depression...

I'd say bite the bullet and get a job. Your mom sounds retarded, but you also have no choice. You don't need to panic. Just figure out the job search program.

Technically a few of us here are "retarded" in the medical sense however her mother is in a completely different stratosphere to us and dare I say it… neurotypicals!

 

[sserafim]

I love how your mom is like, "This is no way to live for her," when you're the one who is literally on a suicide website and clearly depressed. I don't know why she's expecting her life to be different when she has a child with autism. It's on her for having a child and having to deal with the possibility of her child not being neurotypical or healthy. I know someone with autism who is 18, and their family is obviously trying to help them find a career path, but he's in no way independent. Being 18-years-old is the age that a neurotypical person is ready to be in the world on their own, not someone with autism and depression...

I'd say bite the bullet and get a job. Your mom sounds retarded, but you also have no choice. You don't need to panic. Just figure out the job search program.

I also have ADHD, so executive function is a big problem for me. I've been clinically diagnosed with Asperger's aka autism level 1, ADHD and social anxiety. I think I'll probably have to do the job search program. It's my best option and way forward

Working under capitalism can suck and it does for most, but you can't avoid being exploited by the system while you exist in it. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. I can empathize with your situation, college graduate into 5 years as a NEET, and the job hunt has been grueling. You can try working for a bit to buy time while you figure out alternative paths, being a slave doesn't mean you can't be subversive against the system. Money can also be useful, try to achieve passive-income and live out the rest of your days as a NEET. Otherwise, do you have options if you get evicted?

I don't want to work under capitalism or be exploited by the system, but I guess it's inevitable, unfortunately. I don't want to exist in the system, but I have nowhere to go. Sadly, I'll probably be forced to conform and comply. If I get evicted, I'll just ctb lol. It will be the trigger that finally pushes me to do so

 

[etherealgoddess]

Capitalism isn't inherently bad. Corruption happens no matter what. When you give the government too much power--that's when you really run into issues.

 

[sserafim]

Working under capitalism can suck and it does for most, but you can't avoid being exploited by the system while you exist in it. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. I can empathize with your situation, college graduate into 5 years as a NEET, and the job hunt has been grueling. You can try working for a bit to buy time while you figure out alternative paths, being a slave doesn't mean you can't be subversive against the system. Money can also be useful, try to achieve passive-income and live out the rest of your days as a NEET. Otherwise, do you have options if you get evicted?

How was it being a NEET for 5 years? What did you do? I've only been one for less than 2 years (ever since graduating college). My parents aren't allowing me to be one anymore

 

[etherealgoddess]

It's nearly a trillion dollars and it's being spent on DEFENCE. No it's not good for US Citizens or the world because they insist of starting wars left right and center for money, resources and control.

Technically a few of us here are "retarded" in the medical sense however her mother is in a completely different stratosphere to us and dare I say it… neurotypicals!

I just want to clarify that I am not mistreating people with mental disabilities. I was just insulting her lack of compassion as a mother. She tells her own daughter that her daughter is cancer in her life as if that's going to help her daughter improve her depression. My dad is very similar. He's been constantly threatening to kick me out of the house as well. I think that words are not only about the word itself but also the context and the tone. I find it silly to just find a specific word outright too offensive to even say out loud. Like let's be honest: the real way to not have discrimination is by educating others, not banning a word.