Venting My mom wants me to be “productive”

[Throwawayacc3]

I just want to clarify that I am not mistreating people with mental disabilities. I was just insulting her lack of compassion as a mother. She tells her own daughter that her daughter is cancer in her life as if that's going to help her daughter improve her depression. My dad is very similar. He's been constantly threatening to kick me out of the house as well. I think that words are not only about the word itself but also the context and the tone. I find it silly to just find a specific word outright too offensive to even say out loud. Like let's be honest: the real way to not have discrimination is by educating others, not banning a word.

No I never meant that. It's just words - they don't do anything. I was just quoting.

 

[Burnout_Wizard]

How was it being a NEET for 5 years? What did you do? I've only been one for less than 2 years (ever since graduating college). My parents aren't allowing me to be one anymore

Its been ok. Best part is that its given me time to start putting an identity together. Worst part is all the lost time, days start blending together and hours slip by. It feels like its only been about year for me. Spent time with the usual distractions( video games, reading, anime), tried picking up hobbies, planned out a roadtrip as part of a ctb plan, a lot of walking and thinking about how things could have been different.

 

[melancholymallory03]

Capitalism isn't inherently bad. Corruption happens no matter what. When you give the government too much power--that's when you really run into issues.

Call me a Marxist but I think capitalism will always be doomed…..

 

[lament.]

I never had an answer to that question because I never wanted to be anything. I just made something up. I never even wanted to grow up, but sadly I did. I wish that I had died when I was younger. I really feel like I was meant to

I don't think I've ever related to a post this hard, when people asked me that question it just made me want to die even more. Or worse questions like "what are you proud of today" or "what good happened to you today" seeing everyone around you be able to give answers while you sit there coming up with a random lie is just painful.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

If this will make you feel better my mother is exactly like that. She doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I have a form of disability and calls me lazy.
After my father died (15 years ago) she inherited several estates from him and kept everything for herself. She gave money to my brother because by her reasoning he is successful and deserved it and I didn't. She sits in multi room house and also keeps two other flats that she rents out.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I don't think I've ever related to a post this hard, when people asked me that question it just made me want to die even more. Or worse questions like "what are you proud of today" or "what good happened to you today" seeing everyone around you be able to give answers while you sit there coming up with a random lie is just painful.

I seriously never had an answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" growing up as a kid and I still dont have an answer now. What am I supposed to tell people? When I was a kid I gave generic answers like firefighter or astronaut, things I had 0 zero interest in, and now im at the point in my life where im supposed to figure out what to do and its like... yeah

 

[Pluto]

 

[Pluto]

My mom wants me to be "productive". She says that "this is no way to live" for her (me living off of her for the rest of her life) and she didn't envision her life to be like this. Either I apply for the autism job search/career program, or she evicts and (legally) severs ties with me (she gave me an eviction letter in February but she hasn't acted on it yet). I'm backed into a corner. Should I just bite the bullet and do it? I guess my time as a NEET will have to come to an end…ugh. I should be panicking right now but I don't feel anything at all. I think I've become completely apathetic to everything

I was in a similar situation at your age except for a few differences. I had not finished school at all because I hadn't coped with the bullying. I also had an interest in the arts but it wasn't going to pay any bills. I kept hoping for a big breakthrough, but it never came. I was also brainwashed into believing I was incapable of functioning as an adult.

At the age of 23 I first got into some lightweight casual work, which over the years led to an ongoing role and eventually a full-time position which allowed me to focus on buying my own place. It's been very hard, though, and a new set of problems emerge with ageing. I have plenty of regrets.

20 years later, I can give some advice from the school of hard knocks.

1) Don't be too stubborn/arrogant to listen to genuine advice from decent people with life experience.

2) Avoid investing energy in time-wasting or escapist pursuits, including pretending that some ideological protest against society will achieve anything. As we age, it becomes 'too late' to do a growing list of things, and it can really hurt later on to think of the lost opportunities of years squandered on bullshit.

3) Learn to be brutally honest with yourself; in my case, a lot of my disinterest in human relationships was more of a 'sour grapes' thing because I felt so hated and rejected by all of society. I cannot tell you how much it hurt when it later started to become 'too late.'

4) Know that there is some amount of hardship no matter what you do, including the not-so-comfortable comfort zone of the current situation. Including recovery, or non-recovery.

5) 90% of what matters in work is the workplace environment. I've done many bits and pieces of different roles. Some are cliques that will subtly exclude you if you are too weird. Others are neutral and somewhat tolerable. A small number are warm, caring and supportive and vastly preferable to being stuck at home.

6) Financial skills are absolutely critical. For me, the goal was always independence ASAP. That meant finding a cheaper area, finding a minimally acceptable house, saving a deposit and paying it off ASAP. (Something I only just recently achieved, albeit with none of my other issues dealt with.)

I was also branded as a mechanical, uncaring, antisocial young person - both by myself and others, including psychologists. Over years of deep self-exploration, that turned out to be anything but true. It was just an outer shell that I developed to cope with a soulless, loveless, cruel family and, in turn, a painfully frustrating struggle to connect with others.

I was suicidal all along, but the reasoning shifted. First it was because of the abusive, shitty family. Then it was the substandard lifestyle of working endlessly to achieve independence. Now it's ageing, feelings of burnout and still struggling to connect with normies with decent families. I wish I could give this advice to my former self since things could have been done better while I still had time.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm sorry for what you have to go through. It's absolutely awful. I feel like I'll be in your position in a few years once I finish university. I can't deal with life anymore as it's just too hard and exhausting for me. I can't even deal with university so dealing with work itself is just absolutely impossible for me. Either way, I hope you find peace soon

I seriously never had an answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" growing up as a kid and I still dont have an answer now. What am I supposed to tell people? When I was a kid I gave generic answers like firefighter or astronaut, things I had 0 zero interest in, and now im at the point in my life where im supposed to figure out what to do and its like... yeah

I relate. Whenever I gave an answer to that question, I always said a generic answer because I knew that it was socially unacceptable to say "nothing". I never wanted to be anything in life and I still don't. I don't understand at how we're expected to want to be something growing up when we didn't even consent for existence to begin with; we were forced here against our will

 

[tbroken]

In your case i would find a remote job or a part time job near your house and I'd offer my mother to still live with her, but also to contributi to the family expenses. Healing is a long process..
And also you are not forced to heal, society is full of scary monsters...

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I was in a similar situation at your age except for a few differences. I had not finished school at all because I hadn't coped with the bullying. I also had an interest in the arts but it wasn't going to pay any bills. I kept hoping for a big breakthrough, but it never came. I was also brainwashed into believing I was incapable of functioning as an adult.

At the age of 23 I first got into some lightweight casual work, which over the years led to an ongoing role and eventually a full-time position which allowed me to focus on buying my own place. It's been very hard, though, and a new set of problems emerge with ageing. I have plenty of regrets.

20 years later, I can give some advice from the school of hard knocks.

1) Don't be too stubborn/arrogant to listen to genuine advice from decent people with life experience.

2) Avoid investing energy in time-wasting or escapist pursuits, including pretending that some ideological protest against society will achieve anything. As we age, it becomes 'too late' to do a growing list of things, and it can really hurt later on to think of the lost opportunities of years squandered on bullshit.

3) Learn to be brutally honest with yourself; in my case, a lot of my disinterest in human relationships was more of a 'sour grapes' thing because I felt so hated and rejected by all of society. I cannot tell you how much it hurt when it later started to become 'too late.'

4) Know that there is some amount of hardship no matter what you do, including the not-so-comfortable comfort zone of the current situation. Including recovery, or non-recovery.

5) 90% of what matters in work is the workplace environment. I've done many bits and pieces of different roles. Some are cliques that will subtly exclude you if you are too weird. Others are neutral and somewhat tolerable. A small number are warm, caring and supportive and vastly preferable to being stuck at home.

6) Financial skills are absolutely critical. For me, the goal was always independence ASAP. That meant finding a cheaper area, finding a minimally acceptable house, saving a deposit and paying it off ASAP. (Something I only just recently achieved, albeit with none of my other issues dealt with.)

I was also branded as a mechanical, uncaring, antisocial young person - both by myself and others, including psychologists. Over years of deep self-exploration, that turned out to be anything but true. It was just an outer shell that I developed to cope with a soulless, loveless, cruel family and, in turn, a painfully frustrating struggle to connect with others.

I was suicidal all along, but the reasoning shifted. First it was because of the abusive, shitty family. Then it was the substandard lifestyle of working endlessly to achieve independence. Now it's ageing, feelings of burnout and still struggling to connect with normies with decent families. I wish I could give this advice to my former self since things could have been done better while I still had time.

I read through your points but the one that really irks me is point 6. I don't know your age (but gathered that you are most likely 40/50+) and don't know where you live but this point is such a slap in the face to so many people.

I'm in the property industry in the UK. You CANNOT get a mortgage without 3 years of "stable" employment. That means similar salary each yeah (with no dips, peaks are accepted). The next issue is deposit. You want to know how bad it is? I just showed a property (2 bed flat for £400,000) and a younger guy (he's early 20s) has a deposit of £150k. That's fucking impossible. Family connections and wealth transfer. I've also dealt with people who are considered UHNWI - everything is done through creative accounting and off-shore activity and sometimes directorship ownership in Luxembourg.

Last year I got offered an interview for a manager position which would have been 8-6 (plus extra but it's never mentions - viewing around the clock) and they expected you to work on Sunday if needed for £70,000. Take home pay is £51,000 approx. Please explain how runaway property prices you are meant to 1: live on your own 2: build a deposit . You think a cheaper location further up north is going to have agency jobs at £70,000? Delusional. Only London has jobs at that level and no outliers don't count. Remote work - forget about it - LinkedIn, glass door, etc all the adverts are either fake or flooded with applicants. Some say £100,000+ per year and you have to fill out "personality" forms in order to get an interview.

And that's just the UK as a whole. Spain is even worse even though the property prices are cheaper - visually there are plenty more homeless on the streets.

I lived on my own in Spain twice to try and start something and financial literacy means NOTHING if you don't have resources. It's just excel spreadsheets, ingoings and outgoing costs - it isn't an analysis on a 500 unit plus new development.

Oh and that flat I showed - another girl viewed in her late 20s - cash buyer lmao. £400,000. Yeah anyone that's older need to stop giving absolute nonsense advice to anyone below 40. It doesn't work and comes off like we are the ones that are a sack of shit.

The economy and market is destroyed and broken. The percentage rate of children living with parents up to around 40 is a joke. And having a child kicked out to live in a box room and barely able to live is not "life" it just makes that statistic better for government/banking propaganda.

Edit: oh and it was my own time and I could choose clients. Whereas working for someone else is so regimented and corporate. You'd end CTB from working in these environments and people.

 

[Pluto]

It doesn't work and comes off like we are the ones that are a sack of shit.

Let's see. So I argue that financial skills are beneficial in this world, and you say I am calling you a sack of shit. A creative interpretation for sure.

The OP is in the US which is a large, complex and diverse nation. I don't know nearly enough about it to comment on specific strategies. Then there are possibilities like getting help from wealthy parents, working with others or even emigrating. If a particular person has a genuine interest in taking any action at all, then the their circumstances could be looked at. Otherwise, I can only share my own experience while acknowledging how things have changed over the past decade.

Where I'm from, Melbourne, I felt that housing prices (which had gone up enormously before I had a chance to get into the market; I paid a heavy price for being slow to begin) were completely unworkable, so I did not bother trying. And yes, I spent years in defeatist self-pity because I didn't realise how much worse things were going to get.

I noticed that smaller cities in the state were much cheaper than Melbourne, and the industry that I worked in paid just enough that I could rent in Melbourne, save a deposit and start to pay off a house. It was damn hard because I had no life whatsoever to achieve that. I never had a double-income or a relationship, and had to live like a bum and work like a dog. Cheap food, walking/PT, you name it. Worse, the prices have since doubled here so that strategy would likely not work at all.

However, the city where I currently live has grown and is somewhat equivalent to where Melbourne used to be. And there are even smaller, more distant cities where there are still somewhat affordable houses with decent access to facilities. And certain jobs (I am reluctant to be specific about locations or industries because I do not want to be identified) are in demand and paying very reasonably.

For someone with youth and energy on their side, I could see the same strategy I employed working today with the right starting point (working/renting/saving deposit/etc. in regional city) and then moving into a property in smaller city.

I never got advice from anyone since none of my friends were forced to leave Melbourne as I was, though some got stuck renting for life because they didn't bother acting when they had a chance. One guy would get on his soapbox and became quite skillful at ranting about the market, the greedy rich, the government, capitalism, etc. I tried to show him strategies like the one I ended up following, but he had little interest; both his parents enjoyed complaining endlessly, too. Both his parents ended up poor despite living through the easy-street golden age of the '70s and '80s. Anyway, today, I have my own house and at last check my whiner friend still had nothing.

Now that things are even harder, I would say that it would take a very specific strategy to pull this off here. No doubt, many parts of the world are downright futile. It will surely only get worse. At some point, it will be completely impossible pretty much everywhere. Our existing systems will surely break down eventually.

I realise that there are some stereotypical 'Boomers' who invalidate younger generations by ignoring the myriad of living cost and social pressures that have made home ownership an order of magnitude harder. I'm not a fan of the narcissism of the stereotypical members of that generation, though occasionally, they do make a semi-valid argument. All the 20-somethings at my old workplace insisted on buying a brand new dream home, which would cost at least double what an older home in a neighbouring city would have. Then again, all of them had partners, too, and families. Many of them had kids, too. Good luck to them.

For people like me who lack any of those privileges, my earlier comment, "Financial skills are absolutely critical," stands true. I see no reason to correct it.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

There has to be an equitable balance between knowing your boundaries and seeking to improve your situation.

I don't know what your unique set of problems are that create your NEET status. I lived as one for a while during the shutdown due to severe PTSD related to those events, but I had already moved out on my own and didn't have the safety net of my parents. My wife was still working, but in ways that will not be made clear that was its own source of conflict.

Part of my rehabilitation into the economy and a normal life needed measures as extreme as moving to another city altogether. Other people's may be more severe.

Ultimately, you have to want to be well, to get well. And you may not want to be, which is why many of us are on this forum.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Let's see. So I argue that financial skills are beneficial in this world, and you say I am calling you a sack of shit. A creative interpretation for sure.

The OP is in the US which is a large, complex and diverse nation. I don't know nearly enough about it to comment on specific strategies. Then there are possibilities like getting help from wealthy parents, working with others or even emigrating. If a particular person has a genuine interest in taking any action at all, then the their circumstances could be looked at. Otherwise, I can only share my own experience while acknowledging how things have changed over the past decade.

Where I'm from, Melbourne, I felt that housing prices (which had gone up enormously before I had a chance to get into the market; I paid a heavy price for being slow to begin) were completely unworkable, so I did not bother trying. And yes, I spent years in defeatist self-pity because I didn't realise how much worse things were going to get.

I noticed that smaller cities in the state were much cheaper than Melbourne, and the industry that I worked in paid just enough that I could rent in Melbourne, save a deposit and start to pay off a house. It was damn hard because I had no life whatsoever to achieve that. I never had a double-income or a relationship, and had to live like a bum and work like a dog. Cheap food, walking/PT, you name it. Worse, the prices have since doubled here so that strategy would likely not work at all.

However, the city where I currently live has grown and is somewhat equivalent to where Melbourne used to be. And there are even smaller, more distant cities where there are still somewhat affordable houses with decent access to facilities. And certain jobs (I am reluctant to be specific about locations or industries because I do not want to be identified) are in demand and paying very reasonably.

For someone with youth and energy on their side, I could see the same strategy I employed working today with the right starting point (working/renting/saving deposit/etc. in regional city) and then moving into a property in smaller city.

I never got advice from anyone since none of my friends were forced to leave Melbourne as I was, though some got stuck renting for life because they didn't bother acting when they had a chance. One guy would get on his soapbox and became quite skillful at ranting about the market, the greedy rich, the government, capitalism, etc. I tried to show him strategies like the one I ended up following, but he had little interest; both his parents enjoyed complaining endlessly, too. Both his parents ended up poor despite living through the easy-street golden age of the '70s and '80s. Anyway, today, I have my own house and at last check my whiner friend still had nothing.

Now that things are even harder, I would say that it would take a very specific strategy to pull this off here. No doubt, many parts of the world are downright futile. It will surely only get worse. At some point, it will be completely impossible pretty much everywhere. Our existing systems will surely break down eventually.

I realise that there are some stereotypical 'Boomers' who invalidate younger generations by ignoring the myriad of living cost and social pressures that have made home ownership an order of magnitude harder. I'm not a fan of the narcissism of the stereotypical members of that generation, though occasionally, they do make a semi-valid argument. All the 20-somethings at my old workplace insisted on buying a brand new dream home, which would cost at least double what an older home in a neighbouring city would have. Then again, all of them had partners, too, and families. Many of them had kids, too. Good luck to them.

For people like me who lack any of those privileges, my earlier comment, "Financial skills are absolutely critical," stands true. I see no reason to correct it.

That's your experience. It doesn't mean it can be copy and pasted onto everyone else. As long as your IQ is above 96, explaining to someone mortgages, surveyors, ingoing/outgoings isn't difficult - BUT you aren't getting anywhere on the wages that are around today.

Oh and new clients? Yeah that wasn't me that was my business partner. I can't do small talk or new talk. I only become a data/information machine once the conversation veers to the numbers.

I don't have energy. I'm 35. I've been masking for fucking decades and I've been lying to myself that I had energy even when I went to the gym and ate well. I faked that shit so well I look like a "normal" person in society and all it did was blow up in my face at the intensity of a nuclear bomb.

Nearly all western countries are screwed. The UK is a tiny island with a population of 68,000,000 that's keeps going up (and NOT due to birth rates apart from people - the most popular name in Britain is Mohammed - that's up to you to interpret).

Do you know what it's like to have a knife pulled on you for 60p between 12-13? Have it happen repeatable outside school and on buses? Do you know what it's like to get cancer through NO choices that you made? The housing market is broken = NO HOME. No base. Australia is huge and I'd imagine there are cheaper areas but wages will only be larger nearer cities. Oh and if you don't trust people and have autism your pool of employment prospects is SEVERALLY limited.

I learnt about property, limited companies, offshore accounting, greed, corruption, etc just from being in the field - not from my parents or other people. Pattern recognition and extreme memorisation did that.

Spain wages - accountant - €23,000 yes. You heard that right. AN ACCOUNTANT gets you €23,000. I didn't see any jobs about €30,000 and all of them required some form of education. So pay up the ass for education and have no form of paying it back while living in poverty???

Anyways OP is rammed in a corner. I'm stuck in a corner. Others are trapped as well. Being "financially literate" is cope and will not even drag you out of the hole on how the system is organised. Why do you think they don't teach you about finances, mortgages, stock, shares, etc in school. You are there to become a wage slave and not knock off the 1%. Even if you DID learn it in school good luck. Jobs are for people who managers like NOT for the job requirements.

Studies in recent decades indicate that up to 85% of autistic adults with a college education are unemployed, as cited by leading organisations that focus on the neurodiverse community.

Edit: your comment makes me feel like a sack of shit becuase I've already had it from my parents and others - lazy, unorganised, etc. it's funny how these words get thrown around at the point I'm burnt out, depressed and hate fuckig living here anymore. When thing were ok I wasn't lazy or stubborn. When they turned sideways then I'm a piece of shit.
Yeah Mensa gave me an IQ of 131. Turned out great didn't it?
Edit2: I'm also aware that words get jumbled in my head when I type so maybe dyslexic but hey haven't been diagnosed and isn't an issue, right? Can't see the problem, doesn't exist.

 

[sserafim]

That's your experience. It doesn't mean it can be copy and pasted onto everyone else. As long as your IQ is above 96, explaining to someone mortgages, surveyors, ingoing/outgoings isn't difficult - BUT you aren't getting anywhere on the wages that are around today.

Oh and new clients? Yeah that wasn't me that was my business partner. I can't do small talk or new talk. I only become a data/information machine once the conversation veers to the numbers.

I don't have energy. I'm 35. I've been masking for fucking decades and I've been lying to myself that I had energy even when I went to the gym and ate well. I faked that shit so well I look like a "normal" person in society and all it did was blow up in my face at the intensity of a nuclear bomb.

Nearly all western countries are screwed. The UK is a tiny island with a population of 68,000,000 that's keeps going up (and NOT due to birth rates apart from people - the most popular name in Britain is Mohammed - that's up to you to interpret).

Do you know what it's like to have a knife pulled on you for 60p between 12-13? Have it happen repeatable outside school and on buses? Do you know what it's like to get cancer through NO choices that you made? The housing market is broken = NO HOME. No base. Australia is huge and I'd imagine there are cheaper areas but wages will only be larger nearer cities. Oh and if you don't trust people and have autism your pool of employment prospects is SEVERALLY limited.

I learnt about property, limited companies, offshore accounting, greed, corruption, etc just from being in the field - not from my parents or other people. Pattern recognition and extreme memorisation did that.

Spain wages - accountant - €23,000 yes. You heard that right. AN ACCOUNTANT gets you €23,000. I didn't see any jobs about €30,000 and all of them required some form of education. So pay up the ass for education and have no form of paying it back while living in poverty???

Anyways OP is rammed in a corner. I'm stuck in a corner. Others are trapped as well. Being "financially literate" is cope and will not even drag you out of the hole on how the system is organised. Why do you think they don't teach you about finances, mortgages, stock, shares, etc in school. You are there to become a wage slave and not knock off the 1%. Even if you DID learn it in school good luck. Jobs are for people who managers like NOT for the job requirements.

Studies in recent decades indicate that up to 85% of autistic adults with a college education are unemployed, as cited by leading organisations that focus on the neurodiverse community.

Edit: your comment makes me feel like a sack of shit becuase I've already had it from my parents and others - lazy, unorganised, etc. it's funny how these words get thrown around at the point I'm burnt out, depressed and hate fuckig living here anymore. When thing were ok I wasn't lazy or stubborn. When they turned sideways then I'm a piece of shit.

My IQ is 120 and I have a STEM degree from a top college, but I'm not smart in terms of people or life skills. My EQ is in the negatives and I have a very low stress tolerance threshold, so I get burnt out easily. I don't think I can handle how normies live (work 9-5, be independent, pay bills, rent, taxes, buy groceries, cook, clean etc). All of that is so daunting to me. It sounds like too much to handle.

Society wants me to change myself to fit in, but why, I ask? Why should I have to change myself to suit others and live in their world? It's just not fair. I don't even want to live in this world at all, frankly. Being a wageslave for the rest of my life is no life to live. I'd rather die than do that. I would hate to be a slave to the system.

I also don't like socializing and I hate how the world is built upon social interaction. It's inescapable wherever you go. You'll have to talk to people at work and be around them, and I honestly hate people. I never even wanted to human anyways. I wish I could go to a different planet. Being on this planet drains my batteries

 

[Throwawayacc3]

My IQ is 120 and I have a STEM degree from a top college, but I'm not smart in terms of people smarts or life skills. My EQ is like negative and I have a very low stress tolerance threshold so I get burnt out easily. Society wants me to change myself to fit in, but why? Why should I have to change myself to suit others? It's not fair

People skills gets you resources NOT degrees and what you've studied. A hospital doesn't like you? No job. Doesn't matter what your credentials say. My business partner was basically introduced to me by force by my dad. Without that "rich" connection (my dad is basically middle class) I probably would have CTB already.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

People skills gets you resources NOT degrees and what you've studied. A hospital doesn't like you? No job. Doesn't matter what your credentials say. My business partner was basically introduced to me by force by my dad. Without that "rich" connection (my dad is basically middle class) I probably would have CTB already.

Exactly. As they say, it isn't about what you know but who you know. Unfortunately, connections seem to matter than having actual skill which is so shitty. Because of this, I don't even think I'll be able to get employed

 

[sserafim]

People skills gets you resources NOT degrees and what you've studied. A hospital doesn't like you? No job. Doesn't matter what your credentials say. My business partner was basically introduced to me by force by my dad. Without that "rich" connection (my dad is basically middle class) I probably would have CTB already.

It's not fair that I have no people skills in a world where people skills get you resources. It's like the universe intentionally wanted me to fail

 

[Apathy79]

This program for neurodivergent people where they pair you with companies recruiting for NDs

I 100% get not wanting to be a wage slave forever. And that this seems like a big step in that direction. And that there's a decent chance you'll hate it. But all that said, I'd love to see you try this. Hopefully end up working in an environment that understands you, I mean I assume thats the point of the program. Ctb is always an option if it doesn't work out. I get it feels like a leap of faith right now. But who knows, it might be just what you need to break free from your parents. And gain the skills and contacts to break out on your own if you chose to. And what's the alternative?

I don't know. I don't know you or really understand your predicament, so take it with a grain of salt. It just feels like you're at a critical juncture and thats the least worst option.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

It's not fair that I have no people skills in a world where people skills get you resources. It's like the universe intentionally wanted me to fail

It's how it is. Your IQ 120 plus a stem degree. Mine is 131 with no degree however I had a rich connection (but business is now nearly dead). Even when I was working at a gym at 16 after a few years they cut my hours because the manager didn't like me. I heard this from "gossip". Plus bringing up that people were stealing from the safe obviously put a spanner in the works so they had to get rid of me.

People are grade A cunts.

 

[sserafim]

It's how it is. Your IQ 120 plus a stem degree. Mine is 131 with no degree however I had a rich connection (but business is now nearly dead). Even when I was working at a gym at 16 after a few years they cut my hours because the manager didn't like me. I heard this from "gossip". Plus bringing up that people were stealing from the safe obviously put a spanner in the works so they had to get rid of me.

People are grade A cunts.

I hate how we have to interact with other people to survive, and how our survival depends on other people and their perception of us. I wish I could escape society. I want no part in it or the capitalist machine

 

[iloverachel]

My IQ is 120 and I have a STEM degree from a top college, but I'm not smart in terms of people or life skills. My EQ is in the negatives and I have a very low stress tolerance threshold, so I get burnt out easily. I don't think I can handle how normies live (work 9-5, be independent, pay bills, rent, taxes, buy groceries, cook, clean etc). All of that is so daunting to me. It sounds like too much to handle.

Society wants me to change myself to fit in, but why, I ask? Why should I have to change myself to suit others and live in their world? It's just not fair. I don't even want to live in this world at all, frankly. Being a wageslave for the rest of my life is no life to live. I'd rather die than do that. I would hate to be a slave to the system.

I also don't like socializing and I hate how the world is built upon social interaction. It's inescapable wherever you go. You'll have to talk to people at work and be around them, and I honestly hate people. I never even wanted to human anyways. I wish I could go to a different planet. Being on this planet drains my batteries

I understand how you feel in regards to hating society and needing to be around people. My dislike of society made it hard for me to find work too.

I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do. You have our support. I think you should just try the jobs out first and see if it works for you. If its too much, then you can just quit

 

[sserafim]

I understand how you feel in regards to hating society and needing to be around people. My dislike of society made it hard for me to find work too.

I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do. You have our support. I think you should just try the jobs out first and see if it works for you. If its too much, then you can just quit

I don't want to be around people; I hate how I'm expected and will basically be forced to. I've always dreamed of going somewhere far away from society and other people, where I could truly be alone

 

[iloverachel]

Me too! II worked in a restaurant for about a year, but the crowds were too much. I quit. Being around people is not meant for me

I don't want to be around people; I hate how I'm expected and will basically be forced to. I've always dreamed of going somewhere far away from society and other people, where I could be truly alone

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Your mother sounds a bit similar to my dad.

I'm sure my opinion will be unpopular but I'm hoping it will be useful to you as I think a lot of people are only seeing the situation from your POV and I don't think your mother is totally in the wrong here.

I think her giving you an eviction is her way of making you face life. You can't be a leech of someone forever, you probably wouldn't want to be leeched off forever either. Your are her daughter, she wants you to be able to provide for yourself so you're not dependent on whoever would support you. I think that idea is correct, it is terrible to be dependent on someone else. Now, the way she is doing it isn't great, it lacks empathy and is putting you in a more fragile position than you already are. It's putting even more stress and fear when you're already doing poorly.

I'm not sure how living off of the state is like where you live but my cousin is on benefits and she still has to work, even though she is bipolar and was hospitalized countless times in the past. She has no choice, the payment of the benefits is not nearly enough to pay one's necessities. I wouldn't aspire to live off benefits if you can work at all, it's carving a very difficult life for yourself.

I understand you have extreme views on working but, unless you ctb or your mother changes opinions, you soon won't have much other choices. This is how the world works, either you're rich or you have to develop some skill and get paid for it, or you become homeless. I wish it didn't have to be that way but unfortunately it is.

What I can tell you however is that, working doesn't have to be as bad as you think. It really depends on the job, massively depends on the job, you can definitely have a nice life if you land on a good job.

I'm sorry your life is being so difficult, no one asks for this and I hope you don't take my words in the wrong way, I know I'm not giving you a solution besides work, if I knew of one I would mention it but I really don't see another way.

I don't know your mom but do you think she could help you land a job, something that would be easy and manageable for you? Maybe a part time at a store you like, just thinking quickly here. If she is really serious about the eviction, then I think you have little to lose by opening up and telling her how you feel about work, how you don't think you can manage it, how you're so suicidal. I want to believe she can have some empathy, she has the right to not be leeched out of but she is still your mother and has the responsibility to help her child navigate life.

 

[Apathy79]

I don't want to be around people; I hate how I'm expected and will basically be forced to. I've always dreamed of going somewhere far away from society and other people, where I could truly be alone

I've done this for over a decade until it burned down in a bushfire. I definitely recommend it. Blissful life at times. My record was 364 days straight not talking to another human, although there were plenty of 6-12 month stretches. Money is going to be the issue though. Getting there likely involves working first until you can work from home.

 

[sserafim]

Your mother sounds a bit similar to my dad.

I'm sure my opinion will be unpopular but I'm hoping it will be useful to you as I think a lot of people are only seeing the situation from your POV and I don't think your mother is totally in the wrong here.

I think her giving you an eviction is her way of making you face life. You can't be a leech of someone forever, you probably wouldn't want to be leeched off forever either. Your are her daughter, she wants you to be able to provide for yourself so you're not dependent on whoever would support you. I think that idea is correct, it is terrible to be dependent on someone else. Now, the way she is doing it isn't great, it lacks empathy and is putting you in a more fragile position than you already are. It's putting even more stress and fear when you're already doing poorly.

I'm not sure how living off of the state is like where you live but my cousin is on benefits and she still has to work, even though she is bipolar and was hospitalized countless times in the past. She has no choice, the payment of the benefits is not nearly enough to pay one's necessities. I wouldn't aspire to live off benefits if you can work at all, it's carving a very difficult life for yourself.

I understand you have extreme views on working but, unless you ctb or your mother changes opinions, you soon won't have much other choices. This is how the world works, either you're rich or you have to develop some skill and get paid for it, or you become homeless. I wish it didn't have to be that way but unfortunately it is.

What I can tell you however is that, working doesn't have to be as bad as you think. It really depends on the job, massively depends on the job, you can definitely have a nice life if you land on a good job.

I'm sorry your life is being so difficult, no one asks for this and I hope you don't take my words in the wrong way, I know I'm not giving you a solution besides work, if I knew of one I would mention it but I really don't see another way.

I don't know your mom but do you think she could help you land a job, something that would be easy and manageable for you? Maybe a part time at a store you like, just thinking quickly here. If she is really serious about the eviction, then I think you have little to lose by opening up and telling her how you feel about work, how you don't think you can manage it, how you're so suicidal. I want to believe she can have some empathy, she has the right to not be leeched out of but she is still your mother and has the responsibility to help her child navigate life.

I don't want to face life though. I never even wanted to live past 18. My mom said that she would give me money for Dignitas or Pegasos if it meant that I would leave, but it's hard to get approved for these organizations. They also require you to pay an application fee, so if you get denied, then you basically wasted your money. I don't want to navigate life. I never even wanted to be an adult but sadly I became one against my will. I have to say that I don't see anything wrong with being a "leech". The reason why I am in this world is because of my parents. They decided to have me, not the other way around. I didn't ask to be born and I didn't ask for these responsibilities. Being independent is an unwanted responsibility for me by proxy of being alive. I don't want to have to provide for myself. I also don't want to live out a full life. I want to die young, but it's hard to die.

Even if she didn't send me the eviction letter, I would still want to ctb before 25 because I see nothing positive about being an adult. It's just a multitude of responsibilities, demands and obligations. There are no upsides at all whatsoever in my opinion. If people don't want to responsible for their children (for the rest of their lives), why do they have them then? They're the reason why their children are in the world and have to either submit to slavery or commit suicide. I don't want to work whatsoever, but she's trying to help me land a job right now by forcing me to apply for and do this autism program that would eventually recruit me into a company looking for neurodivergents.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I don't want to face life though. I never even wanted to live past 18. My mom said that she would give me money for Dignitas or Pegasos if it meant that I would leave, but it's hard to get approved for these organizations. They also require you to pay an application fee, so if you get denied, then you basically wasted your money. I don't want to navigate life. I never even wanted to be an adult but sadly I became one against my will. I have to say that I don't see anything wrong with being a "leech". The reason why I am in this world is because of my parents. They decided to have me, not the other way around. I didn't ask to be born and I didn't ask for these responsibilities. Being independent is an unwanted responsibility for me by proxy of being alive. I don't want to have to provide for myself. I also don't want to live out a full life. I want to die young, but it's hard to die. Even if she didn't send me the eviction letter, I would still want to ctb before 25 because I see nothing positive about being an adult. It's just a multitude of responsibilities, demands and obligations. There are no upsides at all whatsoever in my opinion. If people don't want to responsible for their children (for the rest of their lives), then why do they have them then? They're the reason why their children are in the world and have to either submit to slavery or suicide.

I understand, you are right that you didn't ask for this, it's the societal expectation and how the world works. Everyone needs to work, contribute to the machine so that people can retire when they reach their elder years.

I won't try to convince you to pursue recovery, I'm sure you've been through a lot and have tried, I just hope you have exhausted all your options. By the way you speak, you are an intelligent person and it's sad to see you suffer with just the prospect of ctb in sight. It's not fair.

What would you say impedes you to want to navigate life? What are you afraid may happen?

 

[Ironborn]

I hate the "be productive" argument.
For what?
To just survive, have no free time and make the rich richer?
Lol get fucked society, I will be a burden on you until my dying day.

 

[sserafim]

I understand, you are right that you didn't ask for this, it's the societal expectation and how the world works. Everyone needs to work, contribute to the machine so that people can retire when they reach their elder years.

I won't try to convince you to pursue recovery, I'm sure you've been through a lot and have tried, I just hope you have exhausted all your options. By the way you speak, you are an intelligent person and it's sad to see you suffer with just the prospect of ctb in sight. It's not fair.

What would you say impedes you to want to navigate life? What are you afraid may happen?

I just never wanted to grow up or be an adult in the first place. Ever since I was a kid, I always thought that I would die young and never even have to be an adult. I thought I was going to die before 18, but unfortunately, that didn't happen. I've just had a feeling that I was meant to die young. I didn't want to live past 18 but now I've set 25 as my exit point. I just don't want to live out a full life. I don't want to navigate life. I've also always wanted to be a cat instead of a human. I've never enjoyed being human once in my life

I understand, you are right that you didn't ask for this, it's the societal expectation and how the world works. Everyone needs to work, contribute to the machine so that people can retire when they reach their elder years.

I won't try to convince you to pursue recovery, I'm sure you've been through a lot and have tried, I just hope you have exhausted all your options. By the way you speak, you are an intelligent person and it's sad to see you suffer with just the prospect of ctb in sight. It's not fair.

What would you say impedes you to want to navigate life? What are you afraid may happen?

Okay, but to play devil's advocate, why should *I* have to work or contribute to the machine? Why not someone else? It's not my responsibility. I never even wanted to be human anyways. I've always wanted to be a cat. I don't want to have to participate in or contribute to society

I hate the "be productive" argument.
For what?
To just survive, have no free time and make the rich richer?
Lol get fucked society, I will be a burden on you until my dying day.

Literally. Sadly, my parents don't want me to be a "burden" on them anymore. I'm not a burden on society though since I don't receive any benefits or disability, although I wouldn't care if I were one. Maybe I should be one…anyways, fuck society. I never even wanted to be a part of it anyways. I hate that I'm in it solely due to the fact that I was unfortunate enough to be human