olvidame
Member
- Aug 27, 2023
- 12
Every day blends into the next, with no distinction. My windows are blacked out, the clock on my computer or phone being the only way i can tell what time or day it is. I have been sleeping for 15+ hours a day when i had previously been averaging a meager 4 or less. I'm always exhausted and lack the energy to do much outside of getting up to sit on my computer. Sometimes i'll shadowbox for half an hour in an attempt to do something that's good for me- only for me to invalidate my efforts by eating unhealthy food. My brain is starved of dopamine and i am doing every thing i can to provide it with some. I find it hard to enjoy the same things i used to, blah blah blah, typical depressed person speak. I don't have the energy to talk about my origin, or how i ended up this way, so i'll just say this: I'm a sociopath with a nervous disorder that is utterly bored with the world he lives in. Thus, he opts to lose himself in fictional worlds instead. I've lost numerous family members and i have not shed a single tear for them despite having been close to them. I am unable to cry when it's appropriate to, no matter the situation. I've gone completely hollow. I've always been that way. I'm going to kill myself once i lose the financial stability that allows me to be a NEET. I refuse to work and suffer even more than i already am just to live in a world i don't care to live in anyway. I don't expect any one to give a shit about what i say, because it's been said a thousand times, my problems are not unique, i am but a drop in an ocean of troubles. Thanks for reading, i guess.
