C
ConfusedClouds
Specialist
- Mar 9, 2024
- 319
Self-sabotage and 'asking' for help.
I struggle with words at the best of times but even more so in not knowing what I'm actually asking for other than feeling something 'isn't right'. Which is impossible for anyone to react to without further details. But if I try taking it down to using something objective (e.g. this week not sleeping very well) then its even harder to ask about because I know I haven't been 'trying' to sleep - I could have easily turned screens off and not sat drinking. So 2 things happen, I can't ask the question as I know the/an answer and also it allows me to be annoyed/spiral at myself for just not putting my best (any) effort in. I also hate being asked what people could do to support - I have no fucking clue, if I knew what I actually needed surely I would have asked/sourced it somehow....
Urgh.Argh.
I struggle with words at the best of times but even more so in not knowing what I'm actually asking for other than feeling something 'isn't right'. Which is impossible for anyone to react to without further details. But if I try taking it down to using something objective (e.g. this week not sleeping very well) then its even harder to ask about because I know I haven't been 'trying' to sleep - I could have easily turned screens off and not sat drinking. So 2 things happen, I can't ask the question as I know the/an answer and also it allows me to be annoyed/spiral at myself for just not putting my best (any) effort in. I also hate being asked what people could do to support - I have no fucking clue, if I knew what I actually needed surely I would have asked/sourced it somehow....
Urgh.Argh.