Help I have to die by this weekend

[Stoked]

I need to be gone by this weekend. I am aiming for the 24th. In the meantime, I am playing along with people around me that I am doing well and doing things as normal until the day comes.

I really need to die. Staying longer than this weekend means I have to keep on playing this game and attending all this bs appointments (literally one of the procedures that I have to go through "to help me/enable me to get help" was one of the reasons that cemented this decision to leave). I can't do this anymore.


I ordered SN from TIG early last year - purity was not as advertised. Cunt's a fucken liar and unreliable as hell.


Then I bought from MDS around mid - end last year, but things came up back-to-back and I never got the chance to do it properly.


I'm wondering, if it's still in the original plastic that it came with, and I didn't store it in an airtight container, is there a chance that it has degraded to nitrate?

I was dumb af, when I got that fake ass shit from TIG, I immediately stored it in an airtight container.

But when I got it from MDS, bc there were a lot of things going on, I just kept it in the original plastic bag it came in and stored it as is. Bc I had the full intention of using it immediately when I got it fresh, but as I said above, there were some shit going on I was so caught up.


Does anyone know if this still would be okay to use?

I got the aquarium test kit and all but honestly between being under suicide watch, doing my work pretending everything is ok, and attending all medical appointments (to avoid suspicion), it is really hard for me to do other things. As I still gotta sort some stuff out before I die too.

I thought of ordering a new one , got in touch with the source. But then that means I gotta wait until it arrives, and I just can't deal with all this pretending anymore and I just can't wait that long.


I thought of a few alternatives, but tbh, I am afraid of failing and then being in a worse position than I already am. I just want to die and be gone.

Train - I'm desperate enough to consider going with this
Hanging - too hard for me in my current mental state to plan and execute this method properly
Co2 - it would be harmful to neighbours and I can't go anywhere else to do this


If I go ahead with the SN I got, and if it didn't work, would there be consequences that would disable me to the point where I can't do it again or use another method? But then if I failed, I'm also afraid of the consequences of being further restricted and stripped away from my liberty by the state.

Can people share with me their thoughts cheers

 

[mtoro998]

One of the good things about sn is its very unlikely that you would suffer any permanent damage after a failed attempt. There are people that posted on here that they failed and have had no issues afterwards.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry it's come to this for you. I understand faking it till you are able to end it.
I don't know alot about chemicals but I would think it should be good for awhile. Especially if not opened.
Hopefully it was stored in a dark place out of the light. Cooler temps would be great also.
It's not like it's a gallon of milk. Expiration dates on items are usually to make sure something is sold before the date and can last after that.
Remember these are chemicals not produce. Something doesn't go bad the second it's expired.
I would also make sure any extra is well hidden... Just in case you need it again.

 

[Dliena]

I wish you luck and eternal peace from anymore future misery OP.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

My short answer to your question is: My guess is that your SN should still be good for ctb if it is still in the original packaging AND was stored in a cool, dry, dark environment.

I think you can find answers to your questions and concerns on this resource document written by one of SaSu's mods: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stability-of-sn-and-n.151639/

I can feel the desperation from your post. I have been feeling the same way recently, being so distraught and overcome by this irrepressible urgency to die as soon as practicable. Panicking and stressing out have only served to cloud my thinking even more and prevent me from carrying out an orderly process to check out from this planet.

If you have time, and still need info and guidance, read some of the posts here that resonate with you and engage in the discussion threads. They might calm you down and help you focus on the task at hand.

 

[YanWasHere]

What's MDS I may ask?

 

[Stoked]

Cheers for all the replies. I've read most things I was able to read before I became a member.
But I'd take on JezebelDuLioncourt's advice and try to chill a bit first. Would be a nice finale to be able to chat a bit with other suicidal people.
I actually feel a sense of relief having made this decision, just that I have lots to do every week and hard to plan and execute without people noticing hence the anxiety

My short answer to your question is: My guess is that your SN should still be good for ctb if it is still in the original packaging AND was stored in a cool, dry, dark environment.

I think you can find answers to your questions and concerns on this resource document written by one of SaSu's mods: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stability-of-sn-and-n.151639/

I can feel the desperation from your post. I have been feeling the same way recently, being so distraught and overcome by this irrepressible urgency to die as soon as practicable. Panicking and stressing out have only served to cloud my thinking even more and prevent me from carrying out an orderly process to check out from this planet.

If you have time, and still need info and guidance, read some of the posts here that resonate with you and engage in the discussion threads. They might calm you down and help you focus on the task at hand.

If not SN (if after I tested it has degraded), most feasible options for me - train or hanging.
My deadline now is between this weekend to April, in order for me to be able to finalise some things .

Thanks guys :)

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

I feel the same way, @Stoked

After I've put in an order for SN today, I feel a great sense of relief, and even happiness! I've even noticed my steps today are springy

Keep steady now. The bus is about to arrive.

 

[Olisop21.]

I feel the same way, @Stoked

After I've put in an order for SN today, I feel a great sense of relief, and even happiness! I've even noticed my steps today are springy

Keep steady now. The bus is about to arrive.

I want to die this am.

 

[Dark Window]

I need to be gone by this weekend. I am aiming for the 24th. In the meantime, I am playing along with people around me that I am doing well and doing things as normal until the day comes.

I really need to die. Staying longer than this weekend means I have to keep on playing this game and attending all this bs appointments (literally one of the procedures that I have to go through "to help me/enable me to get help" was one of the reasons that cemented this decision to leave). I can't do this anymore.


I ordered SN from TIG early last year - purity was not as advertised. Cunt's a fucken liar and unreliable as hell.


Then I bought from MDS around mid - end last year, but things came up back-to-back and I never got the chance to do it properly.


I'm wondering, if it's still in the original plastic that it came with, and I didn't store it in an airtight container, is there a chance that it has degraded to nitrate?

I was dumb af, when I got that fake ass shit from TIG, I immediately stored it in an airtight container.

But when I got it from MDS, bc there were a lot of things going on, I just kept it in the original plastic bag it came in and stored it as is. Bc I had the full intention of using it immediately when I got it fresh, but as I said above, there were some shit going on I was so caught up.


Train - I'm desperate enough to consider going with this
Hanging - too hard for me in my current mental state to plan and execute this method properly
Co2 - it would be harmful to neighbours and I can't go anywhere else to do this

I personally am going with train.

I'm researching the train speeds in my local area.

How much cash do you have available to go out on train trips?

 

[hollywhite13]

Where do you order SN from? What is it? Am in Europe?