Venting I drank SN and had mixed feelings after it was over.

[Embalmer]

First thing, no I will not share with anyone, in a thread or dms where I found my SN. I apologize but it's something I will never be comfortable sharing. I found the source and tested it completely on my own, so it is possible, therefore I will not share my source with anyone. Background my mom was telling me I was selfish on Christmas Eve because I left to go buy them presents instead of spending more time with them (crazy ik lol), and she went on and on about how horrible and selfish I am for no reason other than her taking her anger and frustrations out on me. I was somewhat at the end of my rope, but not close enough. Something in me wanted to die but another part of me didn't. So, I impulsively mixed some SN in a water bottle and drank as much as I could before I had to stop. (The taste is absolutely disgusting, when people described it as ocean water it's like that but 100x worse). A couple minutes later I felt extremely lightheaded and nauseous, I was shaking and sweating yet extremely cold, and I swore my fingers looked like they were blueish?? Or at the very least not normal. I knew I hadn't drank enough to die because the taste threw me off but I was still panicking. I almost told my mom and had her drive me to the hospital but because she was mad at me I just curled up into a ball and rocked back and fourth for a while before suddenly falling asleep and taking a fat nap on my floor. When I woke up my chest and head hurt but that was about it. But the whole experience made me feel somewhat better about using it to actually die in a way? I had seen posts about people trying to say SN is a horrible death and I was terrified my only option was useless but I definitely wouldn't mind going out this way. It sure wasn't the pleasant experience I hoped lmao but there's certainly worse ways to go out. I'm completely fine now, no lasting effects I think which is good, but damn I don't know how I'll get past the horrible taste to even drink enough.

 

[cold_severance]

drink regular table salt with water, it has same taste/consistency. i think it will make you desensitized, if you do it enough times, like everything else.

 

[DesperateOne]

How much did you take? Honestly, I don't know why people are experimenting with SN like this... Doesn't it cause side effects on your body and brain? Like it has to... That other guy on here drank only 2g and his levels dropped below 85, this means the brain is not getting enough oxygen and that has to do some damage to it, no?

Actually, I've Googled and this is what it says: If the oxygen saturation drops below 85%, the severe lack of oxygen affects the brain. The person may experience vision changes and lose consciousness. Severe Hypoxemia: When the blood oxygen levels drop below 80%, the brain, liver, and other vital body organs get affected.

I don't mean to be "that guy", but playing with this seems extremely risky.

 

[PrisonPlanetBreak]

Woah woah, wait? Can you state how much SN you mixed in how much water? And if you tested it beforehand (aquarium and blood test)? I'm really not sure if it was the correct call NOT to go to the hospital...
​

I don't mean to be "that guy", but playing with this seems extremely risky.​

I totally get where you're coming from. I had asked some silly questions about SN too, but @Goku Black knocked some sense into me, and this try out seems dangerous to me as well. Maybe if it was just a tiny bit of SN (mg instead of grams), in a liter of water or more... but IDK, it sounds like there is some SN in their system. I don't think I'd feel safe either. The fact that if I throw up, I have to call the ambulance instead of walking away from a failed attempt without alerting anyone, is what made me shift my view to the exit bag.​

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I've really got nothing to say on this besides that just like years ago when users took sn in small amounts to have an idea of what it would feel like and were reprimanded by other users not to, I'd caution against doing it because not only is it rather dangerous but also could have some question the reliability of the method.

OP, I'm truly sorry about what happened that day but I really caution against impulsive attempts done in the heat of the moment. Yes its not easy to carry out the regimen but it's better for the purposes of giving yourself the best chance of ctbing since that is the goal after all.

 

[Circles]

Seriously people. Do NOT test it unless you are for sure you want to die then and there. Not saying you won't die just from ingesting a very small amount because some people have survived. But I've known users who've done the same thing without weighing it or whatever testing it as a way to cope in the moment, and some have died because of it.

Look up https://sanctioned-suicide.net/members/sadworld.21149/

She tried it and she died without being ready.

They used to have this posted at the top but for some reason they took it down:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/reminder-be-careful-when-handling-sn.84899/#post-1517688

As for an ambulance or going to the hospital all you say is that you were curing meat and accidentally inhaled some SN without wearing a mask. SN can even be absorbed through skin. So you could also say something like this is your first time curing meat and wanted to learn how, but you messed up during the process because you weren't wearing the correct clothing and a mask.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Seriously people. Do NOT test it unless you are for sure you want to die then and there. Not saying you won't die just from ingesting a very small amount because some people have survived. But I've known users who've done the same thing without weighing it or whatever testing it as a way to cope in the moment, and some have died because of it.

Look up https://sanctioned-suicide.net/members/sadworld.21149/

She tried it and she died without being ready.

They used to have this posted at the top but for some reason they took it down:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/reminder-be-careful-when-handling-sn.84899/#post-1517688

As for an ambulance or going to the hospital all you say is that you were curing meat and accidentally inhaled some SN without wearing a mask. SN can even be absorbed through skin. So you could also say something like this is your first time curing meat and wanted to learn how, but you messed up during the process because you weren't wearing the correct clothing and a mask.

Thank you @Circles, having been here for a while, there are examples like this that you've been aware of. Was @sadworld the only one who ctb like this or were they a few more?

 

[rougarou]

Would it be more tolerable to drink as a concentrated shot? It'll still taste bad, but easier to stomach that way, and you can drink water after to wash it down I presume?

 

[LiesAndLigatures]

drink regular table salt with water, it has same taste/consistency. i think it will make you desensitized, if you do it enough times, like everything else.

As someone who has tasted small amounts of SN, it is a slightly different taste. Definitely salty, but also a weak chemical taste too. Hard to describe it any better than that.

 

[Kasumi]

How much did you take? Honestly, I don't know why people are experimenting with SN like this... Doesn't it cause side effects on your body and brain? Like it has to... That other guy on here drank only 2g and his levels dropped below 85, this means the brain is not getting enough oxygen and that has to do some damage to it, no?

Actually, I've Googled and this is what it says: If the oxygen saturation drops below 85%, the severe lack of oxygen affects the brain. The person may experience vision changes and lose consciousness. Severe Hypoxemia: When the blood oxygen levels drop below 80%, the brain, liver, and other vital body organs get affected.

I don't mean to be "that guy", but playing with this seems extremely risky.

"Testing" SN is a very bad idea indeed, more for the fact that even a gram can kill you if you're unlucky, so if you didn't want to go yet but "test" it,.. then you might die anyway.
Additionally, when taking only a little bit it can take much longer to fall unconscious and it can feel more uncomfortable because of that.

Generally however there aren't really any long term health effects after drinking and surviving it.
Either your brain still gets enough oxygen to function, meaning it / you stays alive, or it's not enough meaning your brain / you dies.
Your body is really good at surviving, just falling unconscious doesn't mean damage is done, it just means there isn't enough oxygen available to keep your entire body running, so your body keeps the one thing going that has to keep going, your core brain functions, your heart and breathing.

Seriously people. Do NOT test it unless you are for sure you want to die then and there. Not saying you won't die just from ingesting a very small amount because some people have survived. But I've known users who've done the same thing without weighing it or whatever testing it as a way to cope in the moment, and some have died because of it.

Look up https://sanctioned-suicide.net/members/sadworld.21149/

She tried it and she died without being ready.

They used to have this posted at the top but for some reason they took it down:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/reminder-be-careful-when-handling-sn.84899/#post-1517688

As for an ambulance or going to the hospital all you say is that you were curing meat and accidentally inhaled some SN without wearing a mask. SN can even be absorbed through skin. So you could also say something like this is your first time curing meat and wanted to learn how, but you messed up during the process because you weren't wearing the correct clothing and a mask.

you don't even have to say anything, can just describe ur symptoms and say you don't know why it happened.
doctors usually don't even know about SN.

I remember a guy from Germany who tried 2g to see how it was like (though he was ready to die in the event that that little would kill him) and at the hospital they didn't even know what was causing his low oxygen levels, it took them hours I think to eventually consider giving methylene blue and even after that they didn't understand what caused it so they gave him some methylene blue to take home in case it happened again.

He would've actually died, though not from low blood oxygen levels but because his heart couldn't cope with the thickness of the blood.

 

[Embalmer]

How much did you take? Honestly, I don't know why people are experimenting with SN like this... Doesn't it cause side effects on your body and brain? Like it has to... That other guy on here drank only 2g and his levels dropped below 85, this means the brain is not getting enough oxygen and that has to do some damage to it, no?

Actually, I've Googled and this is what it says: If the oxygen saturation drops below 85%, the severe lack of oxygen affects the brain. The person may experience vision changes and lose consciousness. Severe Hypoxemia: When the blood oxygen levels drop below 80%, the brain, liver, and other vital body organs get affected.

I don't mean to be "that guy", but playing with this seems extremely risky.

It was definitely not enough to be that harmful, I hadn't mixed a ton into the water and didn't even manage to drink it all. It was definitely not a thought out action at all, I've just had the SN in my room since June and I had worried that a mental break may cause me to take some incorrectly out of an emotional response. I would have gone to the hospital but at the same time I felt like I'd either be fine and try to walk it off or If i did die then thats my own fault for being dumb.

Seriously people. Do NOT test it unless you are for sure you want to die then and there. Not saying you won't die just from ingesting a very small amount because some people have survived. But I've known users who've done the same thing without weighing it or whatever testing it as a way to cope in the moment, and some have died because of it.

Look up https://sanctioned-suicide.net/members/sadworld.21149/

She tried it and she died without being ready.

They used to have this posted at the top but for some reason they took it down:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/reminder-be-careful-when-handling-sn.84899/#post-1517688

As for an ambulance or going to the hospital all you say is that you were curing meat and accidentally inhaled some SN without wearing a mask. SN can even be absorbed through skin. So you could also say something like this is your first time curing meat and wanted to learn how, but you messed up during the process because you weren't wearing the correct clothing and a mask.

I agree it was extremely risky especially since I was not ready, the only issue is I could not lie about saying I was curing meat as I have attempted suicide before and I live with my mom, she would instantly know what I was trying to do so I felt I had to either suck it up or eventually pass away whether I was ready or not.

I've really got nothing to say on this besides that just like years ago when users took sn in small amounts to have an idea of what it would feel like and were reprimanded by other users not to, I'd caution against doing it because not only is it rather dangerous but also could have some question the reliability of the method.

OP, I'm truly sorry about what happened that day but I really caution against impulsive attempts done in the heat of the moment. Yes its not easy to carry out the regimen but it's better for the purposes of giving yourself the best chance of ctbing since that is the goal after all.

I agree 100%, I had predicted something like this would happen as I have had the SN since June and knew one day I would eventually make the huge mistake of taking some out of impulse, which is why I'm more aware and totally discourage anyone else from doing anything similar to what I did as it could have ended VERY differently. I had bought the SN well before I was actually ready to CTB due to people saying it would be harder to find, which makes it harder to stay away from in emotional episodes yet the experience definitely scared me away from doing it ever again unless I'm ready.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It was definitely not enough to be that harmful, I hadn't mixed a ton into the water and didn't even manage to drink it all. It was definitely not a thought out action at all, I've just had the SN in my room since June and I had worried that a mental break may cause me to take some incorrectly out of an emotional response. I would have gone to the hospital but at the same time I felt like I'd either be fine and try to walk it off or If i did die then thats my own fault for being dumb.

Well, as long as you're better now OP.

Please do remember that this method is only intended to be used for ctb, an emotional response to your situation by taking sn wasn't a good idea but at least, it wasn't significant enough to warrant medical treatment although that wouldn't have been a bad idea either way.

 

[Mayonaise]

drink regular table salt with water, it has same taste/consistency. i think it will make you desensitized, if you do it enough times, like everything else.

I understand your idea but it's not a great one. I did it once just to see if I could manage to keep the thing down, but being able to do so does not guarantee you'll be able to do the same with SN. Moreover, repeated attempts in drinking table salt may higher your blood pressure and overload your kidneys, not a nice thing especially for those with heart or kidney conditions.

Would it be more tolerable to drink as a concentrated shot? It'll still taste bad, but easier to stomach that way, and you can drink water after to wash it down I presume?

You're supposed to drink it as a shot with as little water as possible (50-100ml), and you should not drink any liquid afterwards. Absolutely avoid fruit juice or carbonated drinks.
You can suck on a lollipop or a very small piece of chocolate to help with the aftertaste though

 

[legoshi]

drink regular table salt with water, it has same taste/consistency. i think it will make you desensitized, if you do it enough times, like everything else.

I hear salt is good for hydration so I been adding it to my water but I also add those flavor packet things also. So would mixing a flavor water packet in with the SN help mask the taste or would the flavor packet mess up absorption or something?