stupid trans guy
Im trying i swear
- Sep 5, 2026
- 87
Im so tired all the time, im not getting enough sleep, but that my fault. I keep staying up on here, or watcjing caseoh. Im in a constant limbo of whether or not to start planning my suicide more intense then having general plan,
i feel so worried so what would happen if i was gone.
My mom hugged me today and started crying, im assuming its because of all of this, she really cares abt me a lot even if it makes me angry sometimes. I dont want her to be sad.
But it also kind of make me mad? Idk like, im the one struggling?
Stop crying over me while im still here??
Whatever im a bad person.
I also struggle with either eating nothing or binge eating. Like usually i will est light breakfast, no lunch, and a small dinner, and a midnight snack. But sometimes i get cravings heh.. tomorrow im getting this lemon chicken thing covered in bread crumbs, i think its from an asian place? So fucking good dude. Also i love frozen grapes and blueberries. I think i will roll out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen to put some in the freezer for tmrw morning.
Life is so scary and full of unknowns. Right now im having a high moment, im scared to let myself feel comfortable. Im horrible at emotions. Its only been a 2 weeks since my friends death and i feel like i dont grieve her enough, i feel like A sick person. I didnt deserve her. Idk why im like this. I only cry over myself, even though im digging my grave.
What should i use besides scissors to cut? I really dont like knives, im lwk to much if a pussy for them.. hitting myself isn't satisfying at all. Idk how people cut with knives or blades, it hurts. Plus like the friction or unevenness of ur skin or wtv makes it sting more. Im bad at pain sometimes. Omg im such a rambler..
Why are scissors so unsanitary? Well ik but, knives r used for raw chicken and whatever. How do i properly sanitize these bad boys? I dont wanna cause my family more trouble..
Is out paitent good? Im on a waitlist rn, i hope theres homosexuals i have nobody to talk to irl except these 3 lovely people.
I wish i had boba or lychee fruit rn... i love fruit omfg. This kinda turned into me js talking, srry guys.
i feel so worried so what would happen if i was gone.
My mom hugged me today and started crying, im assuming its because of all of this, she really cares abt me a lot even if it makes me angry sometimes. I dont want her to be sad.
But it also kind of make me mad? Idk like, im the one struggling?
Stop crying over me while im still here??
Whatever im a bad person.
I also struggle with either eating nothing or binge eating. Like usually i will est light breakfast, no lunch, and a small dinner, and a midnight snack. But sometimes i get cravings heh.. tomorrow im getting this lemon chicken thing covered in bread crumbs, i think its from an asian place? So fucking good dude. Also i love frozen grapes and blueberries. I think i will roll out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen to put some in the freezer for tmrw morning.
Life is so scary and full of unknowns. Right now im having a high moment, im scared to let myself feel comfortable. Im horrible at emotions. Its only been a 2 weeks since my friends death and i feel like i dont grieve her enough, i feel like A sick person. I didnt deserve her. Idk why im like this. I only cry over myself, even though im digging my grave.
What should i use besides scissors to cut? I really dont like knives, im lwk to much if a pussy for them.. hitting myself isn't satisfying at all. Idk how people cut with knives or blades, it hurts. Plus like the friction or unevenness of ur skin or wtv makes it sting more. Im bad at pain sometimes. Omg im such a rambler..
Why are scissors so unsanitary? Well ik but, knives r used for raw chicken and whatever. How do i properly sanitize these bad boys? I dont wanna cause my family more trouble..
Is out paitent good? Im on a waitlist rn, i hope theres homosexuals i have nobody to talk to irl except these 3 lovely people.
I wish i had boba or lychee fruit rn... i love fruit omfg. This kinda turned into me js talking, srry guys.
