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H

HadItAll

I just want to be completely forgotten
Feb 20, 2023
243
30, suicidal since I got my chronic physical illnesses at 24. Not depressed, just aware where I'll likely be at in life in a few years if I don't CTB. Realistic, not depressed.
 
F

Fubart

Member
Apr 14, 2023
7
45, depressed since age 18, suicidal since age 22. You can live a long time being suicidal and never attempt. I have had periods of time where my suicidality was reduced, but most of this has be due to heavy marijuana use and online gaming. Any time I try to have a relationship or start working, the stress builds until I snap, and have a manic, psychotic rage where I destroy everything I was working towards.
 
E

endless_pain

Student
Apr 16, 2023
136
I am actually 23 and I cannot remember since when I have been depressed, maybe for a lifetime. Suicidal since 10 I think
 
toyruin44

toyruin44

buyerofsolitude
Feb 26, 2023
6
29.
Been a long time since those thoughts pop up on my mind. It's not hard for them to. Since i attained puberty i have been heavily confused and scared by the responsibilities. I can't perform simple tasks and i was a normally below-average in studies and average student at best. I am ugly, tragically introverted and just repulsive. I have finally found my dream-method for CTB. If it were known to me earlier, i might have done the dirty deed in an instant. I am going to do it by the end of this month. Perhaps I'll end up in Hell. Perhaps it'll be a void. Better the latter i say. If we were here on this mortal plane to learn and grow, then the powers that be shouldn't have sent me as a complete re**rd. Sorry for venting.
 
sick.faery

sick.faery

Mar 18, 2021
233
i'm 22. been kinda depressed since like 15, suicidal since 18
 
meatclown

meatclown

Encephalopathyathon
Jan 24, 2023
7
I'm 20 now... I can recall in a sense drifting away from myself at 16, but my experience has been skewed since 12
 
Caramelized

Caramelized

✿✿✿
Sep 25, 2021
29
I'm only 19, but sadly I started questioning if I was suffering from depression back in 5th grade, at 11 years old. I was being physically and verbally bullied and it just really got me down, especially since it was mostly guys vandalizing my stuff and hitting me :( My own bullies asked me if I was okay one day because I'd accidentally left open a depression symptoms website on the school computers aghhhhh I cringe so hard at that moment now! (T_T)
Hello :) I'm 19 and I've been depressed I'd say since the age of 7-9, suicidal since 12.
Woah, I thought my age was young! What caused you to feel that way so young, if you don't mind me asking? When I started to feel suicidal and depressed at 11, it was due to outside sources like bullying, but I've heard of instances where some people just figure out that life is full of shit at the tender age of five lol. Was that you??
 
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GRIM_DEADMAN

GRIM_DEADMAN

Dead Man Walking
Feb 14, 2023
51
I'm 18 and was diagnosed with depression at 12 or 13 I don't really remember.

I've been suicidal since I think 14? Again I can't remember, my brain is fried.
 
H

halfbloodprince

Member
Sep 9, 2021
17
hi, i'm 21 years old, i'm a gay boy and i live in Italy. I have been depressed since 2017, so for 7 years. I have tried many drug and non-drug therapies such as tms. I am now on Esketamine treatment but it is not working. I would have a lot to tell but I'm so tired that I have no more words to do it. today i went to my psychologist who told me i have to decide what the fuck i want to do with my life. Well, I think I've decided what to do with it. it's just a matter of time, i just need to get some stuff. I hope things are better for you. a greeting and a hug.
 
L

lukas19

Specialist
Jan 17, 2023
345
35, I have been suicidal for about 10 years, and also was for a brief time in high school. I've been depressed as long as I can remember, since adolescence. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's better, I never quite "recover" enough. It got serious enough for me to obtain a method in 2017, multiple times since, each one ends up thrown out after a while.

I ct?ame close/started attempting a few times in 2019 and 2022, but the first attempt I went through with fully was 10 days ago and I regret it. I'm trying to live now.
For what reason do you regret it?
 
Hihihehehuhu

Hihihehehuhu

Schizo vomit girl
Apr 18, 2023
31
I feel like I've been suffering forever, just want to talk to people in the same state as me
How old are you, where are you from, or just say what you want about your experiences.
I'm 18 years old and got diagnosed with depression at 9, but my parents never believed my psychologist and said "she is just a children she has nothing to be sad for" so they ignored all my problems, even though i started sh at 8 and still do it, they dont care and just say that im a teenager and teenagers have no problems in their life
 
girlsboysthems

girlsboysthems

no i dont have a gun
Dec 19, 2022
357
It started approx. when I was around 12-13 years old, Im almost 22 now, and its just getting harder and harder everyday.
 
western_heart

western_heart

trying to save ourself
May 23, 2021
630
For what reason do you regret it?
It was really traumatizing. My partner and I broke up after my attempt and I miss her a lot. We were hurting each other a lot (codependency) so we have a better chance of recovering apart.
 
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SpiderLink

SpiderLink

they/them
Apr 3, 2023
353
30, will be 31 in seven months.

I think since 2015
I'm young. I've been dealing with really heavy suicidal thoughts and depression since the beginning of 2020 before the pandemic even. But even before things were really bad I was still struggling, just not as much as I have from 2020 till now and this Friday (21st April) will be 3 years of getting help but not helping :(
 
loopystarvedartsist

loopystarvedartsist

trying to live
Apr 17, 2023
5
really, for as long as i could remember i've had this extreme heaviness on my chest. it started as guilt i'm pretty sure. small stuff stayed on my mind for weeks and i couldn't stop guilting without telling my mom. it started when i was 8 or 7. i started to get suicidal at 9 or 10. now i'm 18 and i can't imagine life without the depression. 🤸
 
sufferingalways

sufferingalways

Avoiding flashing images, epilepsy.
Apr 26, 2020
550
I'm in my late 20s, and I've been depressed and suicidal since age 15. However my suicidality didn't reach extreme levels until a couple years back when my chronic pain became disabling.
Sorry to hear about your chronic pain. I have similar in my hands.
I'm in my 50's and I have been feeling suicidal for a number of years can't remember exactly but more than 10 years i think. (almost typed hearse instead of years). Only when I find old notes & poems do I realize that i felt suicidal that long ago.
 
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Kodokushi

Kodokushi

Falling...into the abyss...
Apr 19, 2023
65
Hope you don't mind me join in out of nowhere. I'm 25, going to be 26 pretty soon (makes me feel so bad oof lol) been depressed and feeling suicidal since around 13-14. On the diagnosis part - I've been diagnosed "in question" with cyclothymia at 16 and got a proper diagnosis, which is bipolar disorder at 20 when I reattempted getting help
 
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myfutureismyend

myfutureismyend

Ready for the end
Apr 17, 2023
44
Since I was around 13,14 and I'm 18 now
 
05lvcz

05lvcz

New Member
Mar 19, 2023
3
18, been depressed/suicidal since i was around 12
 
Franz.

Franz.

I usually solve problems by letting them devour me
Apr 12, 2023
2
23, have had depression since I was around 15. Mostly shit parents stuff, 2 breaks ups that affected me a lot, the abandon of those who have long I had considered my friends, and living with HFA. I only had a suicidal phase during 2020, but since then im somewhat trying to get better and overcome it.
 

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