Discussion How do YOU cope with PTSD/CPTSD?

[狐狐狐]

Although I was never diagnosed, I believe I have CPTSD.

I have strong reactions to yelling, nightmares and large gaps in my memory during some of the worst chunks of my upbringing.

I also have dissociation issues. I tend to loose hours just laying around staring at ceilings. I'll loose all sense of time and just. Suddenly 'wake up' hours later. I could just be getting home at 2pm and suddenly it's 4am. I have no recollection of the last 14 hours.

Preamble over.

In recent months I've lost my job because of tariffs. As a direct result, I've lost my insurance, my therapist and I'm rationing medication to help the come down off some of them.

It's been really hard. I spend a lot of time crying and waking up with full blown tremors.

I want to go on living, but Im having a really hard time coping with everything that's happened in recent months on top of nightmares and constant stress headaches.

I find myself craving an exit once again, to a point it's interfering with my ability to do daily tasks on top of searching for full time employment.

I still want to improve. I don't want this to be me, but I just feel like I'm getting pulled in. Sometimes I fine, sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing. To just ball my eyes out.

Does anyone go through this? Does anyone else go through ANY of this?

***

To answer my own question I've coped in the past through therapy and medication, but besides that.

I've been trying to establish a routine. Keep trying to brush my teeth, get some exercise. Talk to friends who've been through similar stuff.

Pass the time by day dreaming, listen to music.

I feel increasingly isolated from the world.

***

Hello, if the tag by name doesn't give it away, I'm relatively new. I'm not entirely sure what to label this, but I think?? This is discussion.

There's some venting in here, although I'm tried to minimize all of it.

This is mostly a bunch of words vomited out onto a page. I have trouble with grammar but I've tried proofreading this. Please, feel free to provide feedback.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

I dont cope, thats why im here

 

[failedmind]

I got diagnosed with CPTSD recently. I basically cope with distractions. Video games, driving, music. Crying a lot. I have panic attacks and nightmares and trouble sleeping bc of it. I take a lot of melatonin. Im not medicated so Im not sure what medications would help. Im really sorry youre going through this, its awful. I barely feel in control of my body. I still feel like Im back in the places that traumatized me the most. I wish I knew better coping mechanisms :/ not much seems to help.

 

[狐狐狐]

I got diagnosed with CPTSD recently. I basically cope with distractions. Video games, driving, music. Crying a lot. I have panic attacks and nightmares and trouble sleeping bc of it. I take a lot of melatonin. Im not medicated so Im not sure what medications would help. Im really sorry youre going through this, it's awful. I barely feel in control of my body. I still feel like Im back in the places that traumatized me the most. I wish I knew better coping mechanisms :/ not much seems to help.

If you don't mind me asking / sharing, do you know what sets you off panic attack wise or it just the stress of everything?

***

Yeah. The panic attacks are the worst. I've gotten better at coping with them as I've gotten older, but they come and go with little cause. I'm sure you already know this but they seem to just take the wind out of your sails for days.

I'm very glad I don't really recall what happened. I have vague notions from the time, I can recall the worst moments not the contents of screaming matches or causes of them.

 

[PimpHand]

I don't. Coping is a meaningless term. How can you cope when you don't how how to? That is like to tell someone to drive, when they have never drived before...

I have developed intense anger and solitude as a way to escape. I created a wall, I'm inside my own world and there's no way outside. I'm trapped in my own mind, in my own past and sorrow.

But I have to move on. Life continue. Bills must be paid. I'm now the sole provider of my house and I need to do that for the sake of my mom and my puppies.

So how I resolve this contradiction? I don't. But I have some mechanisms. Like you I suffer with nightmares, some are so intense, they could be a creepypasta or smth. I also don't respond well with yelling, mistreatment or any kind of pressure and imposition. Sometimes the memories are so strong I need to punch something just to feel well again. Here's what I do to feel better.

The first one: deep breath and drink water. Water is good for the brain. Always drink water. Don't drink energy drinks. Monster is delicious, but it destroys your brain and liver. Coca-cola is pure sugar. Don't do this to you. When you drink water, it's like you dissolved all that anger.

Second: avoid all social media. No Instagram, no Tiktok, not even Discord. Also no Tinder. They give you the illusion of having friends and having people that really care about you. But that is false. They only serve to attract people that are just like me and you: misfits, marginalized, socially undesired. The reality is that well-fit individuals don't need these escape routes. They can easily hang on with their friends at a bar or a coffee house. I feel pity on Discord people. Some of them live awful lives. But their inability to have free will and fight their own demons means they will attract you to the same pit they attracted me. I have 0 friends now.

Third: music. Music is therapy. When you listen to music, you can find yourself in another universe, thinking on another universes, maybe a universe where things go well, maybe a universe where somehow, things are different. Music can also boost you to enjoy the world as it is, with all its flaws. You do not need to fear the world. As it is kind to us. Listen to these bands: Natural Snow Buildings, How to Disappear Completely, Godspeed You Black Emperor. You want to feel all the rage? Rocket Falls. Want to contemplate life, even if it may be simple life? Dance of the Moon and Sun. Also I do like Radiohead, specially Weird Fishes and How to Disappear Completely.

Fourth: acknowledge it was not your fault. It is not your fault that things have turned out this way. You couldn't choose. But now, now you can make something. If you can move your eyeballs, you have some agency. Try to use that to make you, and the world, a happier place. You deserve that.

Finally: write. Write that down. Anything. Have a random thougth? Write. I recommend a pen and paper, classic style, but it can also be on your phone or laptop. Write stories, dreams, nightmares, the past, the future, tasks, objectives... Try to create a story of yourself. You don't need to make a biography if you don't want. But you can make something about yourself.

That is it. I don't even know if I will regret writing this. Perhaps. I hope it helps.

 

[failedmind]

If you don't mind me asking / sharing, do you know what sets you off panic attack wise or it just the stress of everything?

***

Yeah. The panic attacks are the worst. I've gotten better at coping with them as I've gotten older, but they come and go with little cause. I'm sure you already know this but they seem to just take the wind out of your sails for days.

I'm very glad I don't really recall what happened. I have vague notions from the time, I can recall the worst moments not the contents of screaming matches or causes of them.

I also have panic disorder so my panic attacks are pretty frequent. I notice they usually come completely out of nowhere, but sometimes are triggered by stress or seeing something that reminds me of a bad time in my childhood

 

[letsnotmakeittoo22]

Heavy drinking and my anxiety meds. That's really all that helps for myself.

 

[left0vers]

From what you said about memory gaps and dissociation, it sounds like you might have DID on top of PTSD? I was recently wondering whether I have DID and read some info on it. I probably don't, but what you've described are classic symptoms. There's a very good website that posts guides on what DID and PTSD entail and how to cope with that. If you want, I can link it in DMs.

And yeah, PTSD is so rough. People really underestimate the severity of what is basically a personalized torture technique. I spend every second of my life trying to run away from it but it always catches up and rips me apart. And there's no painkiller that would make it go, so all day, every day all I can do is to do everything in my might to distract myself so I could catch some break from bawling my eyes out. Literally the only reliable relief I have is sleep.

By the way, are you Chinese?