Discussion How old are you and how long have you been depressed or suicidal?

[chocolatebar]

I prefer not to mention the number, because it's my main affliction. Suffice to say that I'm well above the average age in this thread...

As for how long I've been like this, it's hard to say, my memories of times long past are all a blur, and I know no way to dissociate life from depression or suicidality anymore.

 

[slugcat]

You don't bother me at all, it is from a japanese artist named "si_ku" https://si-ku.art/painting/?type_2=gallery&album_gallery_id_2=23

omagad i knew that i recognised this artsyle from somewhere !!!!!! i love si_ku, i found out about her through her singing for kikuo and doing his cover art !!! you have a cool taste for art :)

 

[Mimi_]

omagad i knew that i recognised this artsyle from somewhere !!!!!! i love si_ku, i found out about her through her singing for kikuo and doing his cover art !!! you have a cool taste for art :)

Yeah! I also love kikuo. But we shouldn't be talking abt that here, if you want to discuss more don't mind pm me :]

 

[Ultracheese]

18, suicidal since 10. I feel I've been depressed all my life as dramatic as that sounds.

 

[Iva]

I prefer not to mention the number, because it's my main affliction. Suffice to say that I'm well above the average age in this thread...

As for how long I've been like this, it's hard to say, my memories of times long past are all a blur, and I know no way to dissociate life from depression or suicidality anymore.

I am often jealous of people who are older than me and look up to them with a great deal of respect. I can learn so much in a year's time so meeting someone who is even one year older than me makes me feel like I can learn a great deal from him/her. We all will live for about 80 years or so--give or take. Some people just ended up on this earth a little later than you have. You were their age once, too.

Age was once an insecurity for me, especially since I was hanging around people younger than me. I hope you don't let it get to you. In a way, I wish I was older so I wasn't grounded to the mortal realm by thoughts of "bUt WhAt If It GeTs BeTtEr??"

 

[chocolatebar]

I am often jealous of people who are older than me and look up to them with a great deal of respect. I can learn so much in a year's time so meeting someone who is even one year older than me makes me feel like I can learn a great deal from him/her. We all will live for about 80 years or so--give or take. Some people just ended up on this earth a little later than you have. You were their age once, too.

Age was once an insecurity for me, especially since I was hanging around people younger than me. I hope you don't let it get to you. In a way, I wish I was older so I wasn't grounded to the mortal realm by thoughts of "bUt WhAt If It GeTs BeTtEr??"

Thank you. I still found no peace with that. It's not just about getting old or following a process, like flowerbud that develops itself until blossoming, to only later start to decay, generating fruits. There's even a certain beauty in it. However, the process for me was more like a defective bud that never grew a petal, never blossomed or created any fruits, but started to decay still as a bud. The process didn't happen for me. There are stages of life that I never experienced, and now, I can't ever experience. Even if I keep going, my life will never be like a life of someone who blossomed. That's why I suffer so much.

 

[Octavia]

I cannot help but notice that most of the people who responded here are under 25… I suppose that our life expectancy is simply not that long.

Am 20, turning 21 soon. I have no idea how I made it until now, but I have been severely depressed since first puberty at ~12 years old.

 

[dumpstermagic]

i'm 32 depressed since forever turned into existential nihilism and now waiting to die or to ctb when my body starts shitting out for real

 

[cowie]

Just turned 27. Depressed since 19 or so. Suicidal for about six months but in the back of my mind I was worried I get to that point for a long time

 

[nico_wren]

19, I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, diagnosed 5th grade, but I never thought of suicide until end of 6th grade.

 

[buyersremorse]

i turned 18 in february. i don't remember ever having wanting to live.

 

[chocolatebar]

I cannot help but notice that most of the people who responded here are under 25… I suppose that our life expectancy is simply not that long.

Am 20, turning 21 soon. I have no idea how I made it until now, but I have been severely depressed since first puberty at ~12 years old.

Most online communities have similar demographics, so we can't make such conclusions.

Actually, there are more suicide rates in older population than in younger ones, but the media in general makes it look like the opposite.

However, it doesn't account if people were suicidal since young, or if became at some later point, so your questioning remains open.

 

[Octavia]

Most online communities have similar demographics, so we can't make such conclusions.

Actually, there are more suicide rates in older population than in younger ones, but the media in general makes it look like the opposite.

However, it doesn't account if people were suicidal since young, or if became at some later point, so your questioning remains open.

I suppose that it is fair enough. I always thought that younger populations tended to be more depressed while that older people are more jaded, since the suicidal ones would tend to die before reaching an old age.

 

[LastingSolace]

I am 20+ been depressed for about a decade

 

[FieldsofLavender]

19, and since I was 11 or so...

 

[melancholiclife]

24, been depressed since 11 and had on and off suicidal thoughts since i was 15.

Never wanted to live, i always wished I hadn't been born

 

[redisblue]

Hello! I'm 19 years old and I've been depressed and suicidal from around 12 years old. I first went to a doctor at that age for self-harm, I wasn't taken seriously by doctors or my parents, the way I felt was shrugged off as "attention seeking" and something I would "get over eventually." Although, they put me into therapy. The therapy wasn't great or successful. Ever since, I've been trying different therapies and different methods to help make my symptoms less severe. There was a couple of times where I was okay, but for the past few years, my depression and suicidal ideation (and sometimes intent) has been at it's peak. Because of how people never really took me seriously, I never stopped self-harming. I'm trying really hard to get better, but it's difficult as I'm sure most people here understand. It's really nice to see people here sharing their experiences, I wish everybody the best <3

 

[whywere]

I just turned 67 and it is both genetic and myself, as far as I have had both massive depression and suicide thoughts from the get-go. In fact, I found out that I have in my past chain of DNA, a great aunt who was locked up her entire life.

So, I have a lot to fight, and I still see the sunshine in folks here as we are a caring and loving group of folks.

Walter

 

[LittleJem]

in my late 40s. Always had it I think, it has got more debilitating over the years. I used to be able to get a few things done. Now not unless I'm on something.

 

[teyabutter]

I'm 19, and basically as soon as I became socially aware

 

[Live and Let Die]

I'm 19, and basically as soon as I became socially aware

completely unrelated but i need ur attention in ur thread, check alerts/notifications

 

[ratlover223]

i'm 18. i've been depressed since i was 12 and have had suicidal thoughts on and off for years now. i just got diagnosed with MDD not too long ago.

 

[imcurious]

I'm 20, I'm from the US in IL. I have been depressed since I was about 11-12, and felt my first suicidal ideations at 14-15. It never really got better as I got older, in fact it got worse. I have never received proper psychiatric help but I really want to when I become financially independent.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm 30 and I've had depression on and off since I was about 12, but I didn't actually get to the point of being consistently suicidal until I was 26.

 

[ppie41]

I'm 18 currently, I've been mentally ill and autistic all my life, but it didn't start becoming an actual problem for me until I was probably about 12 and started being expected to sort of live for myself rather than having my parents do everything for me, which is when all the issues started to arise. I remember my grades began plummeting in school because we had reached a certain level of learning that I couldn't keep up with coz of my autism… which caused my mom to turn abusive, which in turn caused my mental health to worsen even further. I struggle with depression, bipolar, and borderline, it kills me. It's such a horrible combination and my life hasn't been the same since all the abuse. I miss being a little kid because I didn't realize how cruel the world could be yet

 

[tryagain]

I feel like I've been suffering forever, just want to talk to people in the same state as me
How old are you, where are you from, or just say what you want about your experiences.

Hi. I'm 45 and have wanted to die since I was about 17. My first attempt was then. At the end of the road now thankfully.

 

[l0stc4use]

i am 23 and depression started at 14 because i started realizing how bad my life is

 

[tryagain]

Hi. I'm 45 and have wanted to die since I was about 17. My first attempt was then. At the end of the road now thankfully.

Sorry didn't notice this was in the recovery section. My apologies.

 

[Spyware]

I turned 21 this friday. I'm from Russia

I'm not depressed, rather, I'm suffering. I transitioned from childhood into misery when I was 16-17

I need to do so much work. I got a 9-6 job a week ago. I already hate it because the pay is near minimum. There's a lot of assignments for uni which I have no idea how I'm gonna do. I also "want" to practice guitar and exercise. But I haven't been doing any of those things these past months. I can't find motivation to live properly. The future is pretty bleak. My life will always be that of a serf. I'm a Putin's serf, that's all there is to my life

It would be a night and day difference to have someone, to mutually support each other. But I can't take the initiative. What I need is for someone to enter my life, and brighten it up

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

I am 23 and been depressed for as long as I can remember since I grew up with my middle brother never far enough for my taste! I even remember saying things to my friends in the second grade like "I feel like I have no friends back home" because I was just scared of existing in the same apartment as that oppressive aggressor fuck