I feel like I've been suffering forever, just want to talk to people in the same state as me
How old are you, where are you from, or just say what you want about your experiences.
Hey there :> I'm 19, I'm from Colorado and I think I've been depressed since I was 11? 12? I don't know an exact time frame really, but I had issues with suicidal ideation all throughout middle school to the point that my friend reported me to the school counselors, who then called my parents. Unfortunately enough, only my mom was ever really aware of this incident, and even more unfortunately, she picked me up from school the day she got the call and instead of talking about it, pretended like it didn't happen and never acknowledged it.
I got a bit better for a few years after getting into a committed relationship. However, my bf at the time cheated on me emotionally after 3 years together, causing me to spiral into the worst depression I've ever dealt with. Had I had access to this forum, I might have made an attempt to CTB. I felt miserable and no matter how I spent my days, it felt meaningless. No one knew how to support me. After several months of misery, a different
friend forced me to talk to a school counselor (this happened my junior year of HS) and once again my parents were called. This time, my mom took it seriously and now I have a therapist that I see every 2 weeks. So, if my rough time frame is correct, then I was depressed for 5 years before ever being diagnosed and getting proper help. Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised it took my family so long to help me. My older brother has dealt with severe depression since he was super young as well. My parents tried taking him to see therapists, but my mom claims they "just never worked out." No wonder, it's because she always refused to leave the room during his sessions and my parents are the primary cause for mine and my brother's mental health problems. He made multiple attempts on his life and even has some visible SH scares, though those are very faded now considering he has found ways to cope and now has very strong support circles.
COVID quarantine times were really really
hard for all of us. That was when I finally woke up and realized just how awful my parents actually are, which conveniently enough was right around the time I started seeing a therapist.
ANYWAYS, I feel like I've rambled enough-- I'd be happy to talk more about my experiences if anyone is curious but I don't want to write a novel here lol