I am 43 and I am depressiv since I am a child/a teen. My depressions get really bad when I was 14/15. When I was 16 I was in a psych ward for a long time. It was a difficult but also good time.
Sometimes I feel like a teen today because emotionally my life in some way stopped at this time. Sometimes I think when I will be healthy my life gos on at the age of 17. That's sad.
In many things my life dont stop, I study, go to work, had a boyfriend, have kids. But because of my depression, it often feels like: I was in the middle of it, but not there.
I am not sure how often I tried to kill myself, because there was always a little last wish to live. If this was only SI or some little hope, I dont know.
In 2023 I really try recovery. Depression, BPD and ADD will always be a problem in my life, but I hope I will learn to better cope with it. I have to care for my little inner child. This is hard work and I am not really good in this, but I have hope, because others before were successfull with that.
I wish all the best for you. I wish you love and peace inside.