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rednights

rednights

Member
Jun 5, 2024
40
Kinda bored and agitated. Recently I've been really struggling to stay motivated to do things other than timewaster activities like scrolling.
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Paragon
Nov 13, 2021
947
Happy, got off work early. Now to prepare for the hell that will be the 4th of July

Edit: No longer happy, received my schedule for next week
 
Last edited:
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Tired, fat and useless
 
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DarknetAnon

DarknetAnon

Severely mentally disabled.
Jun 21, 2024
115
I feel mostly anxious and than depressed, but being on here actually helps me feel better than I used to.
People showing so much love, it's weird for me.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Guts on 🔥

But the doctor has prescribed something which should hopefully be ready later today with no adverse side effects 🤞
 
L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
Feeling meh, but not super bad.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
It's General Election day here in the UK and I'm terrified of how the country will vote. Or if they'll stay at home and just a few will decide.
 
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W

wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
282
neurotic as hell, like more than usual though my default is also neurotic as is.
 
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endlessmelancholy

endlessmelancholy

Member
Jun 12, 2024
5
I feel so exhausted. I am so done. The future only scares me. Ctb is only a matter of when.
I feel mostly anxious and than depressed, but being on here actually helps me feel better than I used to.
People showing so much love, it's weird for me.
It's astonishing how they portray this site as being toxic
 
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N

Night_Crew

Member
Oct 23, 2021
40
Incredibly ashamed, guilty and tired. So much so that I have nobody left :(
 
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LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,758
My primary coping method had been running on a treadmill, but my left hip hurts and it seems that I have stress fracture, which will take several weeks to heal. So yesterday I turned to seated exercises. Runner's high is gone but I still aim high - I'll lift weights and eventually, my depression. I hope I won't injure my arms 😂
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
My primary coping method had been running on a treadmill, but my left hip hurts and it seems that I have stress fracture, which will take several weeks to heal. So yesterday I turned to seated exercises. Runner's high is gone but I still aim high - I'll lift weights and eventually, my depression. I hope I won't injure my arms 😂
Take it slow. My old gym instructor used to say you got more of a burn lifting smaller weights for smaller intervals with more reps than going for big numbers. She'd laugh at the young men posturing in front of the mirrors with their massive muscles and weights they could barely hold for a few seconds. "I bet they f**k like that too," she'd say, making me laugh and screw up whatever I was supposed to be doing.
 
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LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,758
Take it slow. My old gym instructor used to say you got more of a burn lifting smaller weights for smaller intervals with more reps than going for big numbers. She'd laugh at the young men posturing in front of the mirrors with their massive muscles and weights they could barely hold for a few seconds. "I bet they f**k like that too," she'd say, making me laugh and screw up whatever I was supposed to be doing.
Thank you for your wise advice. I'm female and can't lift heavy weights like a guy, but I do a lot of workout. So I usually aim for 15 reps with 90 seconds of intervals.
If I gained massive muscles in the future, I'll pose in front of the mirrors like a bodybuilder, but don't worry, I'm asexual 🤣
 
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DarknetAnon

DarknetAnon

Severely mentally disabled.
Jun 21, 2024
115
Not too shabby
 
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T

Tarrasque

New Member
Apr 4, 2024
4
I'm not doing so good but at least I feel like there's a chance I'll be helped? A few months ago I had a breakdown in front of a doctor I was seeing for something other than mental health. She asked if I wanted to see their psychological intervention service and I was like. What are you on about? You can get me a psychologist? I've been asking my doctor for something like that for years! So... I've been seeing this psychologist and she knows her shit. Introduced me to lots of stuff about trauma and dissociation, and soft-diagnoses me with C-PTSD (she can't do it officially because she's technically still training). I've had to tell her things that I have never disclosed to anyone for her to be able to do her job. She's right now investigating how to get me checked out for a dissociative disorder.

When people say that therapy is hard they are not joking. Now that I'm admitting to the kinds of things I'm dealing with it's like having some vital piece of armour stripped away and it's brutal. I can see this helping, but I don't know if I can see it fixing me enough to live a normal life. Here's hoping!
 
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terra.nuvo

terra.nuvo

Student
Feb 15, 2024
175
Like a loser. I really need to get a job but every type of work just seems so boring and unfulfilling but I need a job. I don't know what to do.
 
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Seered Doom

Seered Doom

A nihilist going through an unrelinquished Hell
Sep 9, 2023
795
I feel like I'm stuck between physical sickness and having really bad anxiety and dissociation
 
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E

Endofit

Get me out of here
Jan 19, 2024
69
Lonely, tired and hopeless.
 
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N

Not a Cylon

Blah
Jun 27, 2024
46
Lonely, tired and hopeless.
Same friend. Same.

I've been crying multiple times a day and I'm so goddamn worried about not being able to ever get better.
 
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noreallynotmarcy

noreallynotmarcy

Member
Jun 28, 2024
17
Weird. Had a fleeting moment (an hour) where I was talking to myself, sorting out why I am the way I am. Had a good cry, but I don't feel better. Thinking about dumb shit like why grandmother could be abusive but I, in turn, cannot do the same because I'm a sane human being and don't need to bully other people into doing what I want, or being so insecure that you have to intrude on people's lives just to know who you are.

It sucks that I'm left to deal with the fallout. I imagine she's sitting on a cloud, finally relieved of all her emotional pain, but she's got her back to me and here I am, sitting with my dick in hand wondering why I'm the mess I am.
 
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hu3

hu3

Aloners / silence is tranquility
Jul 8, 2024
7
See title.
________________

I feel horrible. Praying for the courage to ctb.
Honestly I can't tell. All the feelings I've had i couldn't feel properly ever since 14. The emotional detachment has always been there. Now I only feel faint versions of sadness or joy. But I'm okay, I'm breathing, I'm alive, I've been clean for 2-3 years and I found someone I can love. I guess I'll be fine, even if I'm in pain I'll be fine, because at the very fucking least I'm free
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
330
Empty. I'm probably angry with someone I think but I'm not sure
 
Edpal247

Edpal247

Student
Jul 9, 2024
172
Horrible. Waiting to CTB is excruciating. I'll do it after my divorce is over, will be easier for my kids to get the estate squared away. They're all adults, don't anyone freak out.
 
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tychai

tychai

ehehe
Apr 30, 2024
38
I feel floaty, weird and wounded I think. I woke up, had a conversation over text with my partner and they became really hurtful and confusing and hostile. The one other person who saw the content said it was abusive. It's been this way for a while so its a bit of a heavy consideration to realize it seems abusive to the outside world. Albeit, I've gotten this feedback before, I'm just very hopelessly dense and probably somewhere along the lines of pitifully dependent.

I'm hoping it'll all be ok even though I'm not so sure, dying feels a lot easier than considering where to go from here.
 
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lost_ange2211

lost_ange2211

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
145
Lonely, empty, in a void..
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
On edge and anxious
 
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DarknetAnon

DarknetAnon

Severely mentally disabled.
Jun 21, 2024
115
A bit tired and anxious, but I'm not that bad.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Post PTSD flashbacks and then other shite inducing anxiety and overwhelming vortex. Also post SH.
 
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