How do you feel right now?

[wCvML2]

Regretful. Once again starting over in another university this fall (for the 3rd time) and I feel this deep regret that I could have gotten over with this degree if I tried harder the previous time. It feels like something dropping in the pit of my stomach when I think about how everything could be different and I could be somehow happier if I wasn't a failure I don't know... The previous time I attended university I felt this guilt complex that maybe everyone around me thought I wasn't actually suicidal in my first attempt and I was just trying to be discharged from mandatory service, so I attempted again to prove I really am suicidal and also because I really was suicidal in general. Now I feel regret that I should have gotten over the guilt faster and finished with the degree that time without attempting again. I feel like I'm constantly gaslighting myself and I don't know what I am actually doing.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

Chilly, like I wasn't productive enough today, lonely, but at peace and not having a panic attack/melt down over it...

 

[Danby]

Not too bad this morning . . . not suicidal, at least. My depression seems to be worse in the mornings for some reason--perhaps the happy pills/caffeine haven't kicked in yet.

 

[stayedtoolong]

I was trying to sleep so I didn't have to be awake and it didn't work and had this immense feeling of nothingness and despair. Feeling okish now that I'm here and listening to music although still anxious.

 

[hu3]

I feel okay, I feel tired, I feel alone - I can't trust anyone. I only have myself, no one will help me and I need to deal with everything by myself.

I need to understand, I need to be smart. I want to be smart and smarter than everyone because my mind isn't tied to my body and when I die, I can enjoy the experiences I've had as a human, I can wander as a concept and. Can gather more knowledge as energy.

Or it can just be eternal silence, peace and quiet, the same place before birth - so I don't really fear it,

But, I mainly feel betrayed. I feel distrustful. I don't want to be that way - assuming the worst of everyone.. that's now how I am..

I want to love, and to trust, I want to be sincere and admit that I am really insecure. I want to admit it to someone close, really really close that won't leave once they hear about everything. But I don't have that person, and so I am bitter and cold. Not who I trust want to be.

I guess I am just immature. This reaction isn't good, I should deal with this better and I can.
And because im not a pessimistic meanie - I will try to be kind, regardless of how much distrust and sadness and betrayal I feel.

I'm okay, I will be fine.

 

[Ash]

Struggling to trust or believe in anyone

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I'm overwhelmed at work, as usual. But I have God, SaSu and imaginary friends (what a weird trinity.)

Fear not, though the tasks are so huge.
Courage, for SaSu is my refuge.
I will heed not what my inner voices say.
On this site, for decades I will stay.

 

[kyhoti]

A little jittery and detached. My date is coming up and I'm trying to play that tape all the way through.

 

[lemonbunny]

alien, i don't belong here

 

[M4rii]

a little suicidal

 

[Ash]

 

[kinderbueno]

I wanna die

 

[N33dT0D13]

I've found it, what I wanted... I feel so absurdly ecstatically happy, I've been hugging and kissing my godmom and neighbors and they're smiling and hugging and kissing me back (cheek kisses lol) and it's... *Sigh* I love it I love it I love it so much, my psychiatrist was talking about superpowers from personally disorders and my borderline "shining" and I get it, many people excuse or enjoy my weirdness and I love them immensely for it, I want to spread love everywhere that I can, I'm so lovepilled rn, I love the world, I don't hate myself, I'm happy, I will be as affectionate as I want and I'll back off on peeps who are uncomfy with it which is totally fair and I'll love y'all less obsessively lol but... I'm so happy!!

I LOVE LOVE! AND FRIENDSHIP AND COMPANY AND PEOPLE OH MY GOD, I AM YANDERE FOR LOVE, I'M LOVESICK AND I LOVE IT AND
I
LOVE
YOU!!!!!

 

[Trying To Live]

I went to the gym. 2 hour workout. It helps a little. I'm calm right now.

I still feel lonely and depressed. Just like everyday.

I know that my day will get more difficult again later on.

 

[promapicide]

Terrible. I can't live but I can't die. I'm so used to ignoring my problems but this is one I have to face. I'm so scared about the future.

 

[Ash]

Very alone and frightened

 

[Ash]

Very alone and frightened

Pretty much the same today

 

[Trying To Live]

Very lonely, depressed, low energy

 

[atdusk]

Looking to the horizon and seeing only haze. Everything is so indifferent. Things that usually irritate me doesn't provoke any reaction. I don't feel envy to others, even when some of them are happy and have a purpose and I feel I don't.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I feel like I'm still asleep

 

[cryone]

Horrible again. Feelings unreciprocated…i feel so dejected. First time in a while feeling this lonely.

 

[sugarb]

Kind of ok. Just tired.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

People around me are incredibly angry -
They always vent their spleens at me!
But I can stay cool -
I'm not a short-tempered fool!

They use me as a punching bag,
And do nothing - they just nag,
So I no longer care -
This will soon end, like a nightmare.

 

[TheOrangeEatsCreeps]

like shit at a toilet convention

 

[Ash]

Don't even have the words. Sitting out in the cold wind and shivering as it's the only thing keeping me grounded .

 

[MoonBat]

In bed but still awake. I feel nothing right now, no positive or negative. Little sibling is going to college and I'm proud in some way, but everything around me changes and I haven't changed in years. Some part of me hopes it'll be this way forever, but I know it can't. I think I'm feeling too used to stagnancy in my life

 

[nobob]

Distressed. I feel like this 24/7.

 

[Scenegirlshooter]

Tired aswell

 

[Ash]

Really struggling at the moment. Most of my PTSD and anxiety symptoms are through the roof.

 

[Trying To Live]

It feels like I'm slowly dying inside