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ilovecats1

ilovecats1

Member
Apr 15, 2026
79
i wrote half a letter yesterday and was about to order sn and went out for some cigarettes and just did nothing and ever since then i dont really want to ctb anymore. i do have phases like this and i know it wont last and i am kinda scared of myself when im feeling "okay" like right now that i will impulsively do it one day.
 
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Reactions: Ganymede, bagel12, Salkak and 3 others
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Salkak

Student
Dec 9, 2021
177
My psychiatrist calls it delaying the ctb. It usually changes your mind about doing it now
 
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ilovecats1

ilovecats1

Member
Apr 15, 2026
79
My psychiatrist calls it delaying the ctb. It usually changes your mind about doing it now
could be... ive never went to a psychiatrist before maybe i should try

edit: i do but its for getting the gender dysphoria diagnosis i have never been honest there
 
B

bagel12

Student
Jul 7, 2026
111
i wrote half a letter yesterday and was about to order sn and went out for some cigarettes and just did nothing and ever since then i dont really want to ctb anymore. i do have phases like this and i know it wont last and i am kinda scared of myself when im feeling "okay" like right now that i will impulsively do it one day.
i get this feeling too. i hate not being able to trust my future self. my meds used to help with impulsivity but i stopped getting them and now i don't know how i'll feel or what i'll do in the future. i have to structure my life to prevent the worst version of me from messing everything up or harming myself. but spending my energy this way makes it harder for me to succeed or recover. it makes me feel stuck, i can't really move forward in any direction, just oscillate back and forth. im hoping to snap out of it, im gonna try meds again and maybe try to find a therapist about it.

i'm sorry that you're dealing with this too đź«‚
 
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