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Ventingim kinda scared of myself now
Thread starterilovecats1
Start date
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i wrote half a letter yesterday and was about to order sn and went out for some cigarettes and just did nothing and ever since then i dont really want to ctb anymore. i do have phases like this and i know it wont last and i am kinda scared of myself when im feeling "okay" like right now that i will impulsively do it one day.
i wrote half a letter yesterday and was about to order sn and went out for some cigarettes and just did nothing and ever since then i dont really want to ctb anymore. i do have phases like this and i know it wont last and i am kinda scared of myself when im feeling "okay" like right now that i will impulsively do it one day.
i get this feeling too. i hate not being able to trust my future self. my meds used to help with impulsivity but i stopped getting them and now i don't know how i'll feel or what i'll do in the future. i have to structure my life to prevent the worst version of me from messing everything up or harming myself. but spending my energy this way makes it harder for me to succeed or recover. it makes me feel stuck, i can't really move forward in any direction, just oscillate back and forth. im hoping to snap out of it, im gonna try meds again and maybe try to find a therapist about it.
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