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fleetingnight

fleetingnight

incapable of shutting up
May 2, 2024
415
Pain. Whole body hurts. Have to wait a bit longer before taking edibles for it. I'm supposed to do some cleaning now, but I guess maybe I need to lay down for a bit instead
 
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L

Ln42

Ihm/iai
Jun 13, 2018
125
Confused
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Doing some work out in the garden and just caught myself thinking "I wonder if so-and-so will take these pots or if they'll just get dumped when I'm gone". Very much feels when not if.
 
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Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
Feeling blah. Know ik my vitamin deficiencies are hella contributing to that but... yeee...

So I feel stressed.

I was able to take supplements regularly for like a month & now kinda crumbling. Plus other shit I really need to somehow do.

Stressed, kinda depressed, feelin lost, dunno what to do per say about anything really.
 
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NullSz00

NullSz00

Full-Swing Sayonara
Feb 22, 2024
197
Rip Do Not Want GIF by nog
 
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yasmine299

yasmine299

too young to understand
Jul 6, 2023
56
Unloved.
 
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Onelegman

Onelegman

I use a translator
May 24, 2024
553
I have so much tension in my body for days that if I move my shoulders a little I notice how the muscles creak. I feel horrible knowing how bad my closest family is going to have it.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Faking it on the outside: cheerful neighbour in the sunny Sunday sunshine

Burning on the inside: a lot of memories I'd rather not think about but can't shake and none of the MH professionals seem to want to talk about, or at least they assume someone else is dealing / has dealt with it.
 
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M

mysadstuff

Member
Nov 29, 2023
24
i feel like absolute shit and i feel so disguted and gross right now. my legs ache from panic attacks. i wish i had a way out right now
 
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soonitwontbea

soonitwontbea

aka Orr
Jan 23, 2023
22
I feel hopeless. I don't want to, and I don't know what to do about it
 
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ImTelling

ImTelling

Sad Doggo
May 27, 2024
143
I don't know if this is corny or edgy to say but I'm feeling rather empty. I'm not a machine, I can still feel emotions and stuff but I'm looking at my friends and my girlfriend and my family and I don't feel any connection. I think my brain is cutting off my feelings for people because it realizes that it's very close to Death. I do feel like I've failed at something basic about being human.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
I'm pleased with the work I did in the garden over the weekend. But now it feels like back to reality and it's not a floral bouquet.
 
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Life Is My Coffin

Life Is My Coffin

One final action ⚰️⚰️⚰️
Oct 13, 2023
241
longing as usual. thinking about stuff my ex told me that bothered me (even though it was 2 years ago). I feel like im always yearning for someone
 
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LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,758
I finally went insane at work. I no longer have fortitude to hold down this job. If my boss fire me then I might hang myself.

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill was right. There's no place for me other than hell, whether I'm dead or alive.

I know this is Recovery section, so I'd like to say I choose living hell over the real one. An eternal torture isn't fun - I don't think there's no gym in hell.
 
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C

Changedmymind

Member
May 21, 2024
32
In a different thread I said I was always second guessing myself and other people. Have decided it's easier to just not trust anyone. Finally understand why people take this position. The constant rollercoaster is exhausting and overwhelming and I hate myself for wanting to keep riding it even though I know what's coming.
I watched the movie Barfly and in it the main character said that it is easier to trust people than not. Easier to think that people that you meet on the street are goodhearted and not ill-willed. My thoughts may be bad ( and are) but then I remind myself of the fact that people are mostly good. Because there is the Halo effect, that you think that people are watching and judging you but theyre really not. When you realize that people really are'nt thinking about you, you get rid of the rollercoaster. That's the thinking that gets me through most of the days but sometimes I forget.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
I watched the movie Barfly and in it the main character said that it is easier to trust people than not. Easier to think that people that you meet on the street are goodhearted and not ill-willed. My thoughts may be bad ( and are) but then I remind myself of the fact that people are mostly good. Because there is the Halo effect, that you think that people are watching and judging you but theyre really not. When you realize that people really are'nt thinking about you, you get rid of the rollercoaster. That's the thinking that gets me through most of the days but sometimes I forget.
Annoyingly, I think I've also said something vaguely similar on a different thread. 🎢
 
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C

Changedmymind

Member
May 21, 2024
32
Annoyingly, I think I've also said something vaguely similar on a different thread. 🎢
I'm new on this site and found out that there are people with the same problematic thinking that I've suffered through for the last 12 years. Dont feel so alone. And when you put it out there, it does'nt make sense at first, but then it does.
 
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NullSz00

NullSz00

Full-Swing Sayonara
Feb 22, 2024
197
Everything hurts so much...
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
537
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Tired. Headache. Anxious about an appointment this morning. Relieved that the dog was not ill in the night after what she ate yesterday.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,482
Crying with loneliness
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Tired. Headache. Anxious about an appointment this morning. Relieved that the dog was not ill in the night after what she ate yesterday.
Appointment went much better than expected. 👍
 
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Felodese

Felodese

Student
Mar 31, 2024
191
Very, very unstable. Mood swings are all over the place. No idea what I'm gonna feel from one minute to the next.
 
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terra.nuvo

terra.nuvo

Student
Feb 15, 2024
175
Like a failure yet at the same time like I can change things for the better. But still mostly like a failure.
 
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NullSz00

NullSz00

Full-Swing Sayonara
Feb 22, 2024
197
Dead inside... Again...
 
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JaJu

JaJu

Member
Apr 3, 2024
95
Confused, guilty, hopeless, embarrassed, anxious,
 
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AmberianDawn

AmberianDawn

Member
Jun 9, 2024
37
Completely broken
 
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AprilsOrangeSpring

AprilsOrangeSpring

Member
May 12, 2024
22
I'm not sure how to describe it but I feel like im melting.. Like I'm just going to melt into my bed and become part of it forever.. Which doesn't seem so bad at the moment
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,446
Like I'm in a real life version of the fairground dodgers with the weird steering and everyone driving into you for no apparent reason.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
I think I'm going to finish my reading list and then ctb so probably September. There's just nothing left. I thought having sex again would help but I'm not sure it will. Porn distorts real sex and makes it seem better than it is. Romantic relationships are complicated and my brain is fried from mental illness. Traveling is unaffordable but with my hyper vigilance, how would I ever enjoy being in another state or country? The idea is silly 😂
 
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