Hoping to catch my bus tonight

[Ardesevent]

I can't stand this anymore. I thought I was making progress since I was leaving the house recently, so I went to the grocery store. I felt panicked the whole time, and almost curled up into a ball and cried in the middle of the store. Pathetic.
I've been on meds for ages for this. Nothing's helped. At the end of the day, I'm stuck like this.
I'm going to try and run out in front of a car again tonight. Cars speed through my neighborhood all the time, so it should be easy. I just have to power through my guilt and S.I. and whamo. No more being a worthless burden.
I know my death is going to traumatize some poor driver, but I'm out of options. I hope that they just don't manage to see it somehow.
I want to thank everyone on this site. You've all been extremely kind to me, and each other. I hope you all accomplish what you want to do.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i understand that you're hurting (and struggling doesn't make you pathetic), but i don't think a speeding car is the most reliable method. being hit by a car doesn't always mean death. times may desperate, but if you're going to attempt, please make sure your method is reliable so that you don't end up with permanent damage to your body.

 

[Ghost2211]

Please try to think of something more reliable. There are so many ways this can go wrong. We are here for you.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm sorry. And I understand your pain. But with that method maybe the driver will feel guilty. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Spitfire]

I can't help it I have to say it please do not do that. I am really serious in that I am begging you not to.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Please think through this again and reconsider.
Not only will you potentially traumatize a driver for life, but there is no guarantee this will work.

 

[Aap]

Well that is shitty. At best, the driver is traumatized. At worst, if they panic, or even if not, they can be hit with vehicular manslaughter charges. Real shitty move.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

There are many variables you cannot influence with this method. You could end up paralized or worse. Not to mention the driver who'd most likely face criminal charges.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm going to try and run out in front of a car again tonight.

I'm so sad you have been brought to this point. That's not going to work probably and will also be a life long curse for whoever hits you.

 

[Spitfire]

I hope nothing bad happened?

A lot of people are worried about you. I sent you messages for in case it would be more comfortable to get back on here in private at first.

Are you still here with us?

 

[grungeCat]

It's not the best idea sweetie. Even heavy cargo truck doesn't guarantee you will ctb successfully. You have to choose other method. There are threads on this forum which vehicles you should take into consideration. I wish you quick and painless journey.

 

[SadJessu]

Please wait and find a more reliable method, not only for the sake of the driver, but also yourself. You do not deserve any unnecessary pain, and survival is a real possibility with this particular method. CTB should be peaceful and private, you deserve that peace.

 

[Ardesevent]

All of the cars in my neighborhood conveniently chose yesterday to not speed, so I had to head out to an interstate. I spent a bit there gathering up my courage, but when I finally took the jump, si kicked in and I took a step back right before it would of hit me.
I don't know what else to do at this point.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I know that you desperately want a way out but jumping in front of a car is not the way to do it.

 

[DeadBirdSaysGoodbye]

All of the cars in my neighborhood conveniently chose yesterday to not speed, so I had to head out to an interstate. I spent a bit there gathering up my courage, but when I finally took the jump, si kicked in and I took a step back right before it would of hit me.
I don't know what else to do at this point.

Please find another way. Too many ugly risks for you and others. Could traumatise the driver for life. Could potentially physically hurt or kill or otherwise ruin the driver (the charges mentioned) and still very uncertain odds of killing you cleanly if at all.
I can understand your sense of desperation but we aren't just virtue signalling here.
Don't do it this way. If you have to do it find a way that is surer, minimises harm to others, is less painful, has less likelihood of prevoking that SI response. Have a look at methods thread again.

 

[Meditation guide]

You are most likely to end up with mangled legs from what I've seen on some gore sights of videos of people doing this. Their legs are all twisted backwards. But they are alive.

 

[Ghost2211]

I can see why SI stopped you. I've almost been hit by a car ( not intentional). it's actually really scary. I hope you're able to find a safer way to find peace.

 

[BipolarGuy]

If you want to end your life and you feel out of options, this is your choice.
However I would consider the impact this would have on the driver. Plus, there is a high chance that this could leave you with serious permanent damage even if you survive.

 

[JackieInTheBox]

All of the cars in my neighborhood conveniently chose yesterday to not speed, so I had to head out to an interstate. I spent a bit there gathering up my courage, but when I finally took the jump, si kicked in and I took a step back right before it would of hit me.
I don't know what else to do at this point.

As much as I hate SI, it's a good thing it kicked in for you. One of my family members was in a car crash that could of killed them but they survived. I understand you. I have severe social anxiety and I've almost had tears in my eyes when I went to the grocery store. I'm sorry you can't find a more peaceful method :(

 

[TheQ22]

I used to work with a really nice Indian guy, highly educated, humble kind man, family and etc.

One day driving home he was doing about 38 in a 30 zone and a guy who was blind drunk stepped out in front of him at the last minute and the Indian guy couldn't avoid hitting him, and he killed him.

The Indian guy didn't drink - was stone cold sober, but was speeding.

It changed him ttoally, not only did he have to live with the fact he'd killed someone, the courts blamed him because of his speed, and he went to prison for about 18 months.

Imagine putting someone else through that - he was the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and his life was wrecked by someone else.

I'm not excusing his speeding, but a) we all do it, and b) even at 30 he'd probably have killed the guy.

 

[timeisnigh]

fair winds and following seas