Going to kill myself tommorow

[Suicidalsamurai]

If at all possible, try to get a few pain killers. It will both make sure you die, (you'll stop breathing after passing out) and will also eliminate any pain you might possibly feel. Just make sure nobody finds you before you die and saves you, try somewhere extremely secluded.good luck, and I hope that you may find peace in the void.

 

[ForestDuck]

Thank you. Its going to be hard to do but this time will be different. I'm really going to try my hardest to get through this. I've tried two times before with the nembutal method. So i know what to expect. My N has been out for a while now so its now or never.

If it's not too late to ask, how is it taking N, how do you feel when you take it?

 

[ScaredOfLife]

If it's not too late to ask, how is it taking N, how do you feel when you take it?

I think he's passed on now. I was curious about the part where he said he'd tried N two times before. I thought it was pretty lethal stuff so I was surprised that someone had survived it not once, but twice. However, it looks like for him, the third time was the charm. I hope he rests in peace.

 

[Final Escape]

Good luck! Be careful and what ever u do don't fail.

 

[saffron]

Damn you guys. It worries me hearing someone has failed twice with N. I guess there could be a multitude of factors of why he failed twice. Eg. didn't take enough N, used too little N vs body weight, didn't take an anti emetic or used the wrong one or amount, sensitive stomach which caused him to puke, found too early and was revived, drug resistant..previous drug tolerance with drugs such as benzos or maybe he used something like powder N and it was impure etc. I really wish he had specified.
Rest easy dude.

 

[El Topo]

Damn you guys. It worries me hearing someone has failed twice with N. I guess there could be a multitude of factors of why he failed twice. Eg. didn't take enough N, used too little N vs body weight, didn't take an anti emetic or used the wrong one or amount, sensitive stomach which caused him to puke, found too early and was revived, drug resistant..previous drug tolerance with drugs such as benzos or maybe he used something like powder N and it was impure etc. I really wish he had specified.
Rest easy dude.

He didn't mean he took N twice and survived. He meant he "failed" his previous attempts because he was too scared to drink it.

 

[Mizule]

I read some of his posts,he sounded like a good guy,i hope he found peace.

 

[shattered dreams]

I read some of his posts,he sounded like a good guy,i hope he found peace.

He was a good guy, and I miss him, as I am sure many others here do too. He was disabled and finally could not take it anymore as his parents were a real piece of work. He is now free from his pain, and I hope he is in a much better place where he is at peace.

 

[saffron]

He didn't mean he took N twice and survived. He meant he "failed" his previous attempts because he was too scared to drink it.

OHH, lol... silly me.

 

[Lion]

i know this is an old topic and hopefully your release was successfully but i just wanted to say that you were very helpful when i first arrived on this site and i appreciate all the info you gave me. sleep well

 

[DeletedUser4739]

He's better off having the chance to choose.
Whatever he might be doing right now, if he's doing anything at all, I hope Malice found the peace he deserves.

Exactly, respect and dignity for those who are suffering and deserve to be able to end it without interference.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

He made it

I'm happy he found peace. How are you able to know he's passed away?

 

[FadedMemory]

I think I'm late but I hope he's in a better place.

 

[C11H18N2O3]

I think I'm late but I hope he's in a better place.

He must be.

 

[Morning Angel]

Rest In Peace, Malice.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

i guess this is a really confusing part of this site for me. how do you know someone has actually passed away? how do you know they're not hospitalized or in some other way prevented from coming on to the site?

 

[skitliv]

i guess this is a really confusing part of this site for me. how do you know someone has actually passed away? how do you know they're not hospitalized or in some other way prevented from coming on to the site?

You can't know 100%

 

[DeletedUser4739]

You can't know 100%

agreed. a lot of cries for help here, which is understandable, but distracting.

 

[Avicii]

agreed. a lot of cries for help here, which is understandable, but distracting.

I agree on get sentiment I think a lot of cries for help which I guess in a way is a good thing

 

[DeletedUser4739]

I agree on get sentiment I think a lot of cries for help which I guess in a way is a good thing

maybe. having been lied to all my life, i have a very low tolerance for it. and an even lower tolerance for people who believe obvious lies

 

[MachineGunDani]

How did u get ur Nembutal?

 

[MachineGunDani]

And u tried it twice already with no luck? Do u kno why?

 

[Lion]

And u tried it twice already with no luck? Do u kno why?

he meant he did not go through with it the first 2 attempts

 

[Blackjack]

I have my N ready. I would have did it today but i didn't have the energy to get out and go to my location. Anyway, the pressure is on. My aunts and uncles came over this weekend and went out of their way to tell my parents that they should pack my bags for me (in other words kick me out). Dad said i"ll have to starve in the future if i dont figure something out. Mom said i had no class despite me giving them most of my disability check each month. My futures not looking too good and parents are more static than i originally thought.

I"ll probably be homeless in the future if i don't do this. I have no savings and my ankles look like they're going to snap any day now because of my disability. If that happens i might lose my ability to walk and ctb. My N has been out for a while now so the clock is ticking. I'm getting pressure from all sides here..its overwhelming. If i fail tommorow i will be back for sure. Lets hope that i don't.

It's been well over a year, does anyone know if @Malice1 was successful with his N?

 

[C_F]

Admins are "crossing out" members when they say they did whatever to CTB, like Rocksandsand today... why is Malice1's profile not crossed out then? Just curious.

 

[Blackjack]

Admins are "crossing out" members when they say they did whatever to CTB, like Rocksandsand today... why is Malice1's profile not crossed out then? Just curious.

This was posted last year & may have been before they implemented the policy on Goodbye threads. I was just asking if anyone who knew @Malice1 may know if his N attempt was successful because I'll be drinking mine soon.