Venting I hate myself so much. that and ranting.

[livingdeaddyke]

i hate myself. more than a lot.
i tried my hardest but i'll eventually have to accept i will never love myself. i never had the chance to.
i hate the way i look the most. i'm extremely ugly. it's why i hated school so much, mostly because i was around people that were much better looking. it made me not wanna go to school at all, and i was failing. i felt so much better in my bed, and even more so alone. i least i won't feel like im being judged, and no one has to look at me.
and not to mention, i "graduated", but i failed and took summer school, so i never got to wear my gown, my cap, my diploma, nothing. and i doubt they even mentioned my name. That very last bit of "love" and esteem i had for myself, was destroyed. i missed out on one of the things i was looking forward to in school. I really was nothing.
i missed out on so much, because i knew i wanted to die, they wouldnt mean anything. i didn't care, and that is on me.
one of the things i hate about sleeping, is me having dreams of a better life, in a better body, finally being happy and loving myself, then waking up and realizing it was really that; a dream.
I am a waste of life.


That's why i want to be someone else completely. i wanna escape and leave this body and have another i can finally accept and love. whenever im soemone else i always feel better. I've been obsessing and fixating over looking like someone in particular, it's a character, but to me, they are truly perfect and it's really my ultimate goal. my goal is to escape. pretty sure we all do, lol.

 

[KissMeMidas]

Same!! I live every day feeling like someone else and thinking about what would be if I was in any other life. A lot of them would probably be the same, but I'm thinking about further branches, what would my carreer be, where would I be in life, who would I even be in the first place. This is a doomed timeline for me, all I can hope is that I'm happy in several others. Shoutout to the other me's lmao.