I hate life with a passion but it’s hard to end it.

[rosesdying666]

Wouldn't it be more sufferable to live knowing you're a misfortunate person than to just end it? When life's shown you some fucked up shit so much times, we start to crave something different, something that takes us away from it.
Death is one, it's an escape, a permanent one, but it is a great option for people like us. The people who wake up everyday and already feel like dying. The people who constantly are struck down by life with bad luck and no support.
The permanency is what holds me back, but if all of my pain has been permanent and ongoing for years now, it's a good idea to just take the final step and end it all before i end up suffering for an even longer time.
I hate the raw survival instinct i carry because i know i love death so much and want to be dead.
Courage is what I need, I've already accepted that this is my life and how it will end.
I simply need the strength to proceed in doing this, why is it so hard to do if it's what i've wanted for all my life?

 

[pepperfarmer]

I think if it's really the only way for you, then it'll eventually come to you naturally. The will to die eventually overpowers the instinct to live in cases like this.

There's no need to push yourself, you can always die later.