Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Existing will always be completely undesirable to me.
No matter what existing truly will always be completely undesirable to me, I'd never wish to suffer in this cruel and futile existence but rather I just wish for the peace of never existing again where I cannot be harmed in any way and all is finally forgotten about for me. In my case I see it as undesirable to exist under all circumstances, personally I find it a burden to wake again and have to experience anything at all, to be conscious in this existence that I see as so pointless and meaningless where I'm capable of suffering to unlimited amounts is always such a terrible tragedy to me.

I'd never wish for such and I find it so tragic how I had to suffer at all when it isn't like there were any disadvantages to never existing at all, the way I see it existence truly was so unnecessary just creating so much suffering all for the sake of it and I just don't want to suffer in any way, instead I just want some peace, I just wish to be unaware for all eternity where I cannot suffer in any way. I wish for a painless death to free myself from the undesirable burden of existence and it's so painful how I cannot just have such and instead continue to suffer in this existence I never would have chosen or wished for. It terrifies me how a human can exist for so long in this reality where there is all this endless suffering just to be tortured by old age, it's all just so undesirable to me, I find it undesirable to simply exist, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence is always preferable to me.
No matter what I'd always prefer to not exist, I see non-existence as always preferable for me, in fact it's all I hope for and is all I see as desirable. Because after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way and nothing can matter to me, all that causes one to suffer is ultimately as a result of existence and personally I find it so terrible and cruel how existence causes all this endless suffering. I just don't wish to suffer in any way and as long as one exists there is no limit as to how much they can suffer which is just terrifying to me.

I'd always prefer to be permanently unconscious of this existence no matter what, I'd always prefer to painlessly not exist than to suffer for decades longer all for the sake of it in an existence I always found as so futile and unnecessary just to be tormented by old age and die anyway, personally I've only ever wished for non-existence, to me existence itself just feels like a terrible tragedy and a mistake that just brings pain and causes harm. I only hope to never exist again in my case, I only hope for peace and for me peace could only lie in non-existence. To be conscious and aware is something that always feel so dreadful and hopeless to me, I always saw existence as so undesirable in the first place, I'd always prefer to not exist but really I wish I never suffered at all more than anything, I wish I never became aware of something so torturous and cruel as existence but all I can hope for now is an eternal sleep to take away all the pain and suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suffered for so long.
It truly does feel like I've suffered for so long in this cruel, torturous existence and I find it so painful how I had to suffer at all, there truly is so much pain in existing and more than anything I wish I never became aware of it all. I'll always find it such a terrible tragedy to exist and it's a tragedy that only death can bring me peace from, I just wish I could die painlessly to escape from all this suffering in this existence I never would have wished for that I never would have chosen.

It truly does feel like I've suffered so much for so long and the suffering just continues, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence, I'd always prefer to not exist but really I wish I could just erase my existence as all of this just feels like a mistake to me. The only relief for me could lie in never suffering again and to never suffer is all I hope for, I just want death to take away all my suffering and finally bring me peace, it's so painful how I've suffered so long, in fact no matter what I'll always find it so painful to exist. I was never meant for the cruelty and futility of suffering in this existence and it's something I'd rather avoid no matter what, I just want all to be forgotten about for me in death, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence and it truly does feel like I've suffered for so long in an existence that just brought me nothing but pain, in my case I only hope for non-existence, only non-existence where I cannot suffer anymore is desirable to me.