Venting I hate everything about myself.

[dantexxnfrn]

I hate myself. i hate my body, my voice, my personality, the way i talk, the way i walk, the way i act. Its not just about my appearance. it's everything. I disgust myself. I'm worthless, useless, a piece of trash just rotting in this world.
I want to punish myself, to make myself even worse. Death would be a merciful act for me. I need to bleed.

Yet for some reason i crave love. It's fucking pathetic, and it disgusts me even more. I should disappear from everyone's lives, I'd be doing a favor. Not even my parents like me; my mom won't even talk to me. When i was a child she'd remind me of how useless i am. Of how much of a burden i am.

I don't understand why i had to be born. Why? Why did they put me in this world? Just to watch me fail in every single thing i try? To watch me get worse to the point I can't even talk to other people? I don't understant.

Nothing i do is good. It still amazes me, the way i manage to always fail in life. I'll never be good. I'll never succeed in anything. I'll never live a comfortable life.

Am i in this world just to suffer? To be alone? If so, what did i do to deserve this torture? I never asked to be born. I never asked to be like this. To be this disgusting, stupid piece of rotting flesh.

I hate existing. I'm not religious, but before i sleep, i pray to not wake up next morning. And still, i wake up. I wake up every single day. It's so exhausting. I'm exhausted. I don't want to be here, in this world, in this body. I want to be free.

 

[Linda]

I hate myself. i hate my body, my voice, my personality, the way i talk, the way i walk, the way i act. Its not just about my appearance. it's everything. I disgust myself. I'm worthless, useless, a piece of trash just rotting in this world.
I want to punish myself, to make myself even worse. Death would be a merciful act for me. I need to bleed.

Yet for some reason i crave love. It's fucking pathetic, and it disgusts me even more. I should disappear from everyone's lives, I'd be doing a favor. Not even my parents like me; my mom won't even talk to me. When i was a child she'd remind me of how useless i am. Of how much of a burden i am.

I don't understand why i had to be born. Why? Why did they put me in this world? Just to watch me fail in every single thing i try? To watch me get worse to the point I can't even talk to other people? I don't understant.

Nothing i do is good. It still amazes me, the way i manage to always fail in life. I'll never be good. I'll never succeed in anything. I'll never live a comfortable life.

Am i in this world just to suffer? To be alone? If so, what did i do to deserve this torture? I never asked to be born. I never asked to be like this. To be this disgusting, stupid piece of rotting flesh.

I hate existing. I'm not religious, but before i sleep, i pray to not wake up next morning. And still, i wake up. I wake up every single day. It's so exhausting. I'm exhausted. I don't want to be here, in this world, in this body. I want to be free.

You have four options. (And, I think, only four.)

1. Carry on hating yourself about everything.
2. Change some aspects of yourself so there is nothing to hate (or, at least, less to hate).
3. Accept yourself for who you are, and stop hating yourself.
4. Give up and ctb.

Which is it going to be?

I think number 3 is your best option, but it's up to you.

 

[mlb]

i relate to this a lot! you would be surprised with how many people care about you. do you have anything to look forward to? accepting yourself is hard and takes years, but what helps is having people around. wanna be friends?

 

[hippiedeath]

I relate. I hate my voice and how I look. I feel like I'm nothing and always will be. I don't want to ctb yet. I have a plan, but it's so complicated.

 

[katara]

I relate. I hate my voice and how I look. I feel like I'm nothing and always will be. I don't want to ctb yet. I have a plan, but it's so complicated.

At least u are good at choosing a profile pic. I can't tell if u took that yourself or not but if u did that's really cool.

 

[hippiedeath]

At least u are good at choosing a profile pic. I can't tell if u took that yourself or not but if u did that's really cool.

I am very limited as to what I can use on this site. It won't allow most of my photos. I don't know why. This one is the best I could upload. I did not take it.