Forced to receive treatment

[imdonewithallofthis]

I've been dealing with anorexia for a little while now and it had gotten really bad earlier this year in January . I was hospitalized for a month and was forced to eat extreme amounts of food every single day. I was trapped in that hospital for over a month. It was horrible. I left and have just been fluctuating in weight sense. Now my parents are forcing me to go to a treatment program called partial hospitalization that's 12 hours away. It's better than the hospital but I don't want to go. I have no choice. I had refused to go but they said if I don't i have to do residential. Which I would rather drink bleach and slit my wrists then go to one of those places. You basically live in a house with other mentally ill people and eat together for months.

I was gonna try full suspension hanging but never got to order the rope. Now I'm leaving tomorrow and have nothing to try to Ctb. I don't know what to do. I only have a charging cord that's thick and long but I heard those aren't good. I doubt we have any medication that would actually kill me. And if I try , and don't succeed everything will just be so much worse. what else could I use?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you've had to suffer in this cruel existence, I hope you find peace.

 

[athiestjoe]

Life is so beyond cruel and unfair, it saddens me to know you are in so much pain like this. Truly awful, I wish I could take some of that agony and put it on myself instead to help.

Whatever you decide, I hope you find everything you are looking for and get peace & serenity.

 

[wren-briar]

I was gonna try full suspension hanging but never got to order the rope. Now I'm leaving tomorrow and have nothing to try to Ctb. I don't know what to do. I only have a charging cord that's thick and long but I heard those aren't good. I doubt we have any medication that would actually kill me. And if I try , and don't succeed everything will just be so much worse. what else could I use?

The way I see it, you have three options:

• go with an open-minded and see if it changes your perspective
• go, knowing it won't change your perspective, and using the time there to properly plan how to CTB
• review recommendations on CTB ASAP to determine if any of those methods can be used prior to or while you're there

 

[imdonewithallofthis]

The way I see it, you have three options:

• go with an open-minded and see if it changes your perspective
• go, knowing it won't change your perspective, and using the time there to properly plan how to CTB
• review recommendations on CTB ASAP to determine if any of those methods can be used prior to or while you're there

I've been here for almost a month and feel worse then when I arrived. I'm still trying to find the best way to ctb and hanging still seems like my best option. Going to try to find a good anchor point now

 

[wren-briar]

I'm so, so sorry to hear that you're still stuck in such a harmful hellhole!

On the other hand, you appear to have access to the internet, presumably via your cellphone, which is more than my psych prisons allowed!

Again, you might want to consider alternative methods, being particularly aware of everything available around you and available to you.

Have you at least been able to make any friends there?

 

[Emeralds]

Partial hospitalization isn't anywhere near as bad as being forced to live in a long term psych hospital. You get to go home at night and do normal things. Why not keep and open mind? Go to the program and see if it helps you. Then you can at least say that you really tried everything to get better.

 

[imdonewithallofthis]

I've been dealing with anorexia for a little while now and it had gotten really bad earlier this year in January . I was hospitalized for a month and was forced to eat extreme amounts of food every single day. I was trapped in that hospital for over a month. It was horrible. I left and have just been fluctuating in weight sense. Now my parents are forcing me to go to a treatment program called partial hospitalization that's 12 hours away. It's better than the hospital but I don't want to go. I have no choice. I had refused to go but they said if I don't i have to do residential. Which I would rather drink bleach and slit my wrists then go to one of those places. You basically live in a house with other mentally ill people and eat together for months.

I was gonna try full suspension hanging but never got to order the rope. Now I'm leaving tomorrow and have nothing to try to Ctb. I don't know what to do. I only have a charging cord that's thick and long but I heard those aren't good. I doubt we have any medication that would actually kill me. And if I try , and don't succeed everything will just be so much worse. what else could I use?

I'm so, so sorry to hear that you're still stuck in such a harmful hellhole!

On the other hand, you appear to have access to the internet, presumably via your cellphone, which is more than my psych prisons allowed!

Again, you might want to consider alternative methods, being particularly aware of everything available around you and available to you.

Have you at least been able to make any friends there?

No I haven't. Most people are nice but I don't even have the energy to make conversation to be honest.

I'm just feeling more and more empty every day and don't know what else to do. I'm so tired

 

[wren-briar]

No I haven't. Most people are nice but I don't even have the energy to make conversation to be honest.

I'm just feeling more and more empty every day and don't know what else to do. I'm so tired

I'm so sad to hear that you're suffering and that you're not even able to make any friends there.

Other than "three hots and a cot" what do they have you doing daily?