Dying together

[bl33ding_heart]

I don't think I'll ever try to seek out a ctb partner and kick the bucket with them. As dying is the most permanent and undoable thing you could do. Before I die I'd probably want to be alone with my thoughts. But I often fantasise about having someone to die with. Having someone to live like crazy with and feel alive and happy with for an entire day before we eventually reach our demise together and leave this world peacefully. It's a fantasy that's been dawning on my mind for a while now. The idea of going out like this with someone that's struggling just as much as I am and can understand my struggles honestly seems nice. And the method of choice would preferably be something instant and painless so we can die without fear or human survival instincts messing with either of us and ruining the peacefulness of our final moments. I'm not planning on doing this at the moment, but it's just a nice and oddly comforting fantasy of mine, kek.

(Please don't private message me and ask me to be your ctb partner if you're looking for one because I'm currently not interested).

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

me too. thats part of my fantasies. meeting someone and having a great day/week. no sex at all, but where we are truly close and even share the bed. i dont wanna die alone. i think id like to be with someone i can laugh with and stuff. and yes, dying together instantly holding hands. i dream about scenarios like this a lot every night.

 

[gardenoflonely]

I feel the same but I don't trust anyone enough to share an intimate moment such as death

 

[princess kitty]

I'd love to have company on my last day, doing anything we wanted to, perhaps truly feeling free for a day. I feel as though I would want to be with someone I'm close to, and deeply trust, but I don't think I'd be able to be ok with them dying. I think knowing someone very close to me will die would really break me, and make my last day impossible to enjoy.

 

[blackorchid]

same feeling

 

[dandelion_fluff]

I often fantasize about having somebody I love so much and who understands me. We'd hold hands and drive off a cliff with Radiohead's Street Spirit playing in the background.

 

[Dejected 55]

I originally was against this idea... then I started thinking about it and wanting it for all the reasons people have been saying... but now I realize that if I were able to connect with someone to have that kind of experience with, then I wouldn't be as depressed as I am right now for always being alone... so the fact that I am missing out on this important aspect of life is exactly why I know I am going to die alone as well because that's just how it is for me.

 

[graveflower]

Feel you there. Its hard not to get lost in my daydreams- mostly fantasizing about having someone close enough to me who truly cares and feels as intense for me as I do for them. Hard to view myself being around long enough to grow old but while I'm still in my early 20s, it'd be nice to have someone to go down with me after just enjoying what we can together.

 

[Pluto]

 

[squiddedoutt]

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[wormathen_worms]

Definitely a fantasy of mine. I think I'd be too scared that the other person would back out to really ever seek it out but the thought of not being alone when slipping away is a really really nice one.

 

[delinquentsandwich]

I think about it as well a lot
I don't want to be alone- I hate being alone more than anything in my life
I wish to feel someone's warmth as the life slips away

and yet I am conflicted in the way that like.. I don't want others to die
very hypocritical of me

 

[Bishop]

I too would not want to die alone but I think the experience (if that's the right word) is a solo one. Shrug.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I feel the same. Ctb alone is such a scary and lonely feeling. I wish there was a way to just get euthanized and hold the hand of a dr or loved one if they accepted my decision.

 

[chaoschuckler]

That's also a part of my fantasy. If there were truly someone who loved me unconditionally and was willing to die with me, it would probably be hard for me to watch them suffer in their final moments. However I'm looking for a trusted partner to ctb with only to muster enough courage to do it which i am lacking currently

 

[omenalready]

that's something i'm super afraid of... i will be so afraid of the idea that i'm bringing someone with me. i'm not sure if it's the right space to share this but i have a friend that is somehow looking forward to ctb and she often mention it when i'm asking her how she feels in a certain moment. she will answer ; i want to die. and every time she says this i answer " yeah me too " but what i think is " yeah me too, let's meet and die " but i'm super afraid to open that conversation for real.

 

[6486159051]

This sounds lovely and sweet and the social monkey in me is like but I don't want to be part of the reason someone else's son/daughter/uncle/aunt/whatever dies. So I'm a loner for sure

 

[wine is fine but]

in theory it is a very romantic fantasy

in practice, maybe not so much

getting the timing right, the location, the method etc. can all be a huge challenge; and then not only do both parties need to be 100% sure they wish to do it, but also have 100% faith in each other to not risk the partner being sectioned. planning it in writing is also a huge problem, because if something happens, the authoritah will check every single piece of communication by the one who succeeds and the one who ends up living will receive a huge amount of heat from the authoritah

i am not against the idea, but realistically just getting to the point where a basic agreement can be made would be difficult enough, let alone full on plans