Discussion Does anyone else get these intense periods of hopelessness where you feel you have to ctb right then and there?

[ohhgeeitsme]

Oh yeah.

 

[Kmp99]

Yeah, I had that just over a week ago and ended up taking all of my medications to CTB but failed and ended up in hospital for a couple of days. I think if you were to CTB then don't do it in that time where you feel so hopeless because you'll probably end up doing something impulsive and fail like I did

 

[Squiddy]

Yeah, I had that just over a week ago and ended up taking all of my medications to CTB but failed and ended up in hospital for a couple of days. I think if you were to CTB then don't do it in that time where you feel so hopeless because you'll probably end up doing something impulsive and fail like I did

Good point

 

[Rue89]

Yes, but luckily I've been able to think rationally enough to remind myself that it would be unwise to take SN too soon without fasting.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Yeah, I got one last night after a nasty argument with my wife. For me it's like sudden clarity about the absolute hopelessness of my situation, being trapped in a world I hate. I see the evil and violence and realize how much danger I'm in from all the zombies. My heart beats faster, I can't sleep and all I want is my way out asap.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

They usually last for 2-3-4 days and I take 1 antipsychotic daily. They go away eventually but I dread their return

 

[Theregoesthatidea]

Sometimes that happens for me, but it's pretty rare. I had one of those episodes in a traffic jam a few weeks ago. Its almost like a restlessness mixed with extreme upset/anger

 

[woxihuanni]

Fot me it's called right now.

 

[crybaby]

yeah,I told my friend that I was sad and I really wanted to commit suicide. But they are too busy to have time to talk to me. They just told me not to think too much:(

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

yeah,I told my friend that I was sad and I really wanted to commit suicide. But they are too busy to have time to talk to me. They just told me not to think too much:(

No friend should EVER be to busy to listen. It's why I love this place. People here understand and will always listen.

 

[Squiddy]

No friend should EVER be to busy to listen. It's why I love this place. People here understand and will always listen.

I agree with this. A real friend would listen

 

[Squiddy]

Feeling that hopelessness feeling again. I wish something would take me out.

 

[Harleyyy]

Yeah, ofcourse. Sometimes i feel like an impulsive suicide is way better than a planned one, you don't go through overthinking your decision.

 

[MrBlue]

I get that about once every couple of days. Normally when something happens that reminds me of the reality of my life and how utterly pathetic I am. I am increasingly considering going through with ctb during one of those periods, because all my available methods are rubbish anyway so doing something when I can't overthink about how I could potentially fail might be a benefit.

 

[JAG_78]

Sometimes that happens for me, but it's pretty rare. I had one of those episodes in a traffic jam a few weeks ago. Its almost like a restlessness mixed with extreme upset/anger

Agitated depression?.

 

[Marauder]

Yes, with diagnosed bipolar disorders it happens very often. I cant handle my emotions at all and because of that my past and future was/will be fucking missery. I have prepared almost 100 % foolproof method of ctb but my survival instinct still prevails.
I can handle it for a while but I think one day I will ctb anyway.

 

[reggiesaurus]

Not often, but I had one this morning. I tried to vomit my breakfast so I could SN on an empty stomach or something, but even with a toothbrush down my throat, nothing was coming up. I'm glad I got through it. It's not worth it unless I'm sure that everything is in order, so I can go without some harebrained urge ruining my efforts so far.

 

[Ghost2211]

Yes, I keep marijuana on hand for those times.

 

[The Bell Jar]

I am new to this forum, but this is very much me. Some moments are so painful I just want it to be over. I ended up in the phsyc unit 6 months ago after an extremely bad week. If someone wouldn't have dragged me to the ER, I would not be here today. I have ups and downs and this last week has been downs and more downs. I cut myself a lot yesterday. My life looking back has gone in a direction I should have never gone, but here I am. People depend on me so I wallow in my painful existence only for them. The time will come when I must not live for everyone else, but die for me.


It will happen for me one day. I so wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up

I get that.

 

[andy69]

Yes. I used to have it a lot of the time. The time between episodes has increased the past year.

 

[deleted]

I'm feeling it right now, I feel a tightness in my chest, I want it to end

 

[OnlyTheWind]

This normally comes when I awake very early in the morning and it is still dark outside. It feels like every decision I've ever made up until that point has been wrong and is accompanied by dreaduful feelings of anxiety and being trapped.

 

[DeadD]

Oh my god so often it's almost like daily now. It feels cathartic to be able to say that to other people who just *get it* though so I guess there's that

 

[Night Sky]

All the time. I feel it whenever I have something even extremely minor go wrong, and I end up letting it build and build until I can't think of anything else. It usually ends up with me thinking about various past mistakes and wishing I had the courage to end it then and there to stop the onset of massive anxiety.

It's even happening right now, actually. Like there's a huge knot in my chest and I'm about to explode into tears at any second.

 

[Deathbydemo]

Absolutely. Probably every minute of every day now. It's the reason I have become so anxious and jittery. I literally shake all the time now. It's an awful feeling.

I hope you're feeling better today.

 

[Squiddy]

Absolutely. Probably every minute of every day now. It's the reason I have become so anxious and jittery. I literally shake all the time now. It's an awful feeling.

I hope you're feeling better today.

I'm feeling ok today. I still want to ctb, but it's not as bad as it usually is

 

[Deleted member 1768]

No friend should EVER be to busy to listen. It's why I love this place. People here understand and will always listen.

Excuse me, but people have to live their lives. Sorry, but your answer shocked me. No one knows what you are going through yet you would judge someone else? Children, illness, paying bills, working, appointments...endless things that must be taken care of. A suicidal individual may not be the most important issue at hand in that moment. Please do not over-play your own importance. Thank you.

 

[TheYounger]

Yes, I get those moments when I feel I want to CTB really badly. I definitely won't be alive past 30 years old. I don't want to live that far.

 

[MisterPeeWee]

Ever since I was diagnosed with an illness as a kid, I would ask myself why was I born like this, why was I born at all. I have felt this way all the time since then but it never reached that badly since I was 19, a year older now, but I don't see myself living after my next birthday. All these feelings you get make me ask myself why I believed I should fight to find happiness again when it was always temporary.

 

[catalepsy]

Last time I got like that, I was drinking peanutbutter whiskey, put away about half the bottle and smashed half the stuff in my living room then woke up hungover on the floor. Probably would have done something if I hadn't been too drunk to tie a proper knot.