Venting Does Anyone Else Get Snippy During CTB Ideation?

[Unsure and Useless]

(If any of you read my previous post today, this one will make a lot more sense)

Does anyone know how to not be snippy/rude/any other synonym towards others when they're actively in a bad state of mind such as during solemn CTB ideation moments?

Today, a family member was just showing me some music from a gacha game they're fixated on (Umamusume) and asked me which song I liked most, but because I just wanted to get shot up and be done with everything, I was just super curt with them. They know I'm struggling with mental health and that I have moments of CTB ideation, but they gave me a dose of reality—saying that my aloof attitude is the reason why I have no friends and even acquaintances

Obviously, I'm aware that my own struggles, regardless of their significance, shouldn't negatively impact the way I interact with others. However, after several attempts at researching viable methods for CTB only to realize that none will pan out well, I'm just too sick and tired to deal with other people's BS. Maybe I'm just narcissistic and self-centered like that, but I don't want to always be like it

It doesn't matter how aloof I am; I genuinely crave human connection, so it doesn't serve me well if my shitty attitude is driving others away on top of the depression aura I radiate

 

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Does anyone know how to not be snippy/rude/any other synonym towards others when they're actively in a bad state of mind such as during solemn CTB ideation moments?

A couple ways to deal with this in the moment: Pause before reacting. Consciously soften or lower your voice. Remember to breathe while speaking. Slow your speech. Be mindful of enunciation (helps with the aforementioned). Physically anchor yourself (eg. feet firmly on the ground). Tell the other person that you're in a state of overwhelm. Tell them that if it seems like you're being short with them, it's a "you problem" rather than a reflection on them.

I've long dealt with this problem too. Over time, I think I've gotten my family to a point where they're mostly able to see past my outward irritability (and likewise, I've gotten better with keeping myself more balanced with them), and that's part of how I did it: reinforcing to them that my demeanor is a "me problem", not a "them problem"; and reminding them to avoid personalizing my mental health issues.

Getting control over the reactionary hostility of depression takes practice. If you go too far with someone, walk it back and apologize if you need to, and let them know you're working on it and that you appreciate their patience. Sometimes the other person just needs a little bit of verbal reassurance.