woofwag
Bad dog
- Sep 17, 2025
- 509
Thought this new job would help, and at first it did. I'm a DSP so my job is taking care of a disabled adult. Things were chill at first, not without their struggles but relatively ok. Until they started a new med… now it's unbearable. Constantly getting attacked, constantly getting stood over and hovered around all day, endless anxiety and exhaustion.
They're talking of discontinuing the med, but at this point I'm so burnt out idk how much difference it'll make. The other issue is I have no idea if my coworkers even like me. They'll talk shit about other coworkers and apparently, have talked about me behind my back at least once. It's making me so paranoid. On top of that, I have no idea if the person I support likes me. I seem to be the one who deals with the most physical aggression (that being said I am the newest), so I wonder if maybe I'm just shit at this job. But it's one of the highest paying in my area, and idk if they're be another job that pays this much and is tolerable to me regardless.
Already I'm suicidal, and now with this constant anxiety and paranoia I'm just so fucked up all the time. Every single second I yearn to die. But I won't do it until at least after August 14th, when I'll go to see Will Wood in concert. A nice final send-off :) but genuinely I don't know how the fuck to get through the day anymore. I'm getting so much worse all the time and if this doesn't change I might not be able to take it and ctb early. I'm scared of living and scared of dying too early. This sucks so so so much. All I want is more drugs but I can't even find any in my area and I'm too stupid to order off the dark web so, I guess I just have to suffer all the fucking time.
They're talking of discontinuing the med, but at this point I'm so burnt out idk how much difference it'll make. The other issue is I have no idea if my coworkers even like me. They'll talk shit about other coworkers and apparently, have talked about me behind my back at least once. It's making me so paranoid. On top of that, I have no idea if the person I support likes me. I seem to be the one who deals with the most physical aggression (that being said I am the newest), so I wonder if maybe I'm just shit at this job. But it's one of the highest paying in my area, and idk if they're be another job that pays this much and is tolerable to me regardless.
Already I'm suicidal, and now with this constant anxiety and paranoia I'm just so fucked up all the time. Every single second I yearn to die. But I won't do it until at least after August 14th, when I'll go to see Will Wood in concert. A nice final send-off :) but genuinely I don't know how the fuck to get through the day anymore. I'm getting so much worse all the time and if this doesn't change I might not be able to take it and ctb early. I'm scared of living and scared of dying too early. This sucks so so so much. All I want is more drugs but I can't even find any in my area and I'm too stupid to order off the dark web so, I guess I just have to suffer all the fucking time.
