I've been on top of the world, living my dream with a gorgeous girlfriend by my side and making more than I ever thought I would... Even in those days I found myself walking over to my closet in my underwear, opening the safe, and sticking a fully loaded G19 in my mouth JUST to feel what it felt like to be 4 pounds of pressure away from death.
I can't speak for everyone, but for me - suffering comes and goes, but the feeling of wanting to die and explore the after is forever. Explore may not be the right word, but I have always felt a strange calling to the other side. I've always been a relatively happy child, teenager, and adult, and really don't have much of a comprehensible reason to be here. Nonetheless I have always known that I want to be done with this before the prescribed "life plan". The thing I think I love the most about SS is that we come in all shapes & sizes, from all walks of life.
For me it's not about suffering, and truly maybe just a curiosity in wanting to just die.