Story Destroyed Sex Life

[schrei_nach_liebe]

I think he was asking why you got circumcised at nine.

Oh, sorry, for no good reason. Basically the country I'm from had stopped circumcising almost universally by the time I was born. We moved to America and since my dad's cut (they used to do it back in the 60s) I got cut to make me more like him, more American, and make it so I wouldn't be made fun of at the urinals/locker rooms anymore. I didn't understand the gravity of what the operation was back then, I literally thought I had a birth defect only people from my country had and I didn't know why my dad didn't have the defect. Whenever I think of if I had a time machine, it's usually this.

That's not what he's saying. He could cope if he had to live without sex. But he has anhedonia. Impossible to describe, but it's maybe like living life from two rooms over? Sensations are dead in every aspect.

Anhedonia is basically like you describe, can confirm.

 

[Pardoe84]

Aisley, do you have also Pssd? For 6 years now? Some got better with erection quality, they did not do anything, just time healed. But i think they have not been such severe cases. However, the genital numbness (you cannot feel your genitals, even if you pee) remains.

 

[Tobacco]

I understand your predicament since I've desired a rich sexual life since my hormones kicked in, but I remain a "virgin" (the leader of a sect I was in manipulated me into having sex and I've never had any sexual contact ever since and nothing before that).

Now thanks to my medication (antipsychotics) I have a sex drive reduced to 1% of what it was. I only had masturbation to satiate myself, but I do miss the euphoria leading to it. It's literally having a one thing less that makes you happy. I used to have cyber sex a few years ago and every session led to satisfactory masturbation. Now I don't even get an erection when looking at porn and probably won't get one with cybersex. But what can I do. I'll probably take these pills for life.

 

[Aisley]

Aisley, do you have also Pssd? For 6 years now? Some got better with erection quality, they did not do anything, just time healed. But i think they have not been such severe cases. However, the genital numbness (you cannot feel your genitals, even if you pee) remains.

No, just a sexless marriage. As I said, I still have masturbation.
Are you saying that even in cases of recovery, the genitals never heal? I know you wrote that, but holy fucking hell. Wouldn't that cause incontinence? God, everything about this disorder is hell.

i finally spent a few moments to read up on this and prevent more stupid questions, and this is a common side effect. And they don't know why! How is this still being used? On people already depressed??? It's an outrage. Istg, psychology should just be stopped for a few decades, while everyone figures some shit out, cuz what it is now isn't it. Might as well go back to fucking saltpeter for christsakes.

 

[schrei_nach_liebe]

I just realized I haven't had sex in over 10 years and I'm only 33

 

[TheNihilisticViking]

I'm on Fluoxetine/Prozac and I -don't really- experience any sexual side effects (as far as I'm aware). Although for the first month or two of taking Fluoxetine/Prozac I had a slight dip in my libido because I didn't masturbate as much as I usually did. I'm also not currently sexually active (haven't had sex in over a year). 28 male from UK here. I think the side effects (including the sexual side effects) mostly fade away once you get used to the medication and once you increase the dosage, they slightly come back again.

However... I did have other side effects at the beginning such as racing thoughts (increased anxiety than I'm used to), unable to sleep correctly, alternating constipation and diarrhoea (but I also have IBS/Irritable Bowel), slight nausea and a bit of issues with my ear blocking up randomly even though I had no wax buildup in my ear and no ear infection. Anyone had similar experiences to me?

 

[SexyIncél]

People do not understand it. They say try to find other things now. Sex is not such important. Or search a girl that is your real love. If she loves you she will understand. One must know my sex life was mostly affairs and one night stands, just 2 or 3 relationships that only lastet some months.

Even here, some can't understand. But what you say makes perfect sense. And asexual "real love"... that's like advising a skilled hunter-gatherer to go take up lima bean farming

tbh the world would probably be better if we were like bonobos, boinking each other to say "Good morning". Amusing each other. Conflict resolution via blowjobs. If people worry about looking unattractive, there'd likely be masquerade-ball orgies

But noooo, we have countries colonized by sex-negative fundamentalists, like the Puritans in the US... People literally freak out about sex waaay more than about children forced to drink lead water

I'm sorry, even in Real Love™ regimes, erotics help partners heal. Like literally: people split into goofy specializations like masseuse, therapist, etc. But masseuses are crippled from (say) using their lips — or even fully unleashing their hands! And therapists are 'unprofessional' when they use erotic techniques to help clients process power-relations. However, a decent partner can do it all

So many people get their innocent joys in life ruined with these fucking overhyped pharma products — and the unreflective medibots who prescribe them

 

[phersper]

I have the same problems. Because of meds I became asexual, ED, not feeling anymore like myself, blunted emotions, disrupted sleep, cognitive impairment, etc etc. I was intelligent, good looking, many friends, interested in many stuff, succesful with girls, living my best life at university.
I had no reason to even think of ctb. Now it's my only choice. It's been 7 months in this shit and I got my SN last week. I m gonna ctb soon.

I'd like to talk more with you. I'm sorry for your situation, I can 1000% relate to it…

 

[Pardoe84]

Are you saying that even in cases of recovery, the genitals never heal? I know you wrote that, but holy fucking hell. Wouldn't that cause incontinence? God, everything about this disorder is hell.

There are very very few people who recovered naturally by time only. They got their feelings back mostly and ED issues got better, however i never heard that the genital numbness healed at any person. It feels like a local anaestesia down there. And the penis got shrinked. Women also report they have numb shrinked clitoris.

It's paradox, you get prescribed those pills for your mental health but get a new disorder that is worse 1000 times to that what was your main issue.

I was intelligent, good looking, many friends, interested in many stuff, succesful with girls, living my best life at university.

That is it, what it makes so hard. If you were born poor, unattractive, etc you would not miss anything. For me its the same, i was a Sunnyboy, good looking, good Job, a lot of hobbies, many friends, always flirting with the girls, had sucess.

One cannot arrange with the new situation. People just say change you way of thinking, but impossible if you were kind of a person like that.

My psychologist says i am kind of narcistic, very sucess oriented. Your world is over if something like this happens.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

@Davey36000 No offence, but I guess you missed the right forum and I'm sure you wanted to post sth in the recovery section?! OP has a serious and unsolvable problem.

 

[innerentropy]

Hi man,
My life was ruined for the same reasons. If we cannot live with dignity, we should die with dignity.

 

[Pardoe84]

Hi innerentropy. Did you also take Antidepressants?

 

[innerentropy]

Hi innerentropy. Did you also take Antidepressants?

Yes, antidepressants and neuroleptics. But long story. They made me suicidal and I attempted while I was discontinuing them and I was convincted in a psych ward where they kill me within a week giving me insane poisons. I quitted everything one year ago except for some benzos. We are living a fucking nightmare. Something a normal person cannot never understand. We should be eligible for MAID.

 

[Ashu]

Lol not German, wouldn't describe myself as a Germanist either lol. I do speak German though and love lots of German music and film. I'm a lover of many cultures and languages.

The reason, idk, it could be because I obsess over it, it could be the fact that 50% of the nerves I was born with are gone, could be the fact that I still remember what it felt like just to have it (but at that age I hadn't messed with it, I was 9). Like just the way it feels in my pants feels wrong still and it's been 24 years since that happened.

All this I can relate to.

 

[lachrymost]

I'm so sorry you were robbed of your quality of life. The mere fact that PSSD exists and is largely ignored by the medical community makes me so suicidal and I don't even have the condition. I guess I have a survivor's guilt about it too, since I was on SSRIs for almost 15 years. They destroyed me but not through PSSD, which is infinitely worse than even my circumstance. This world is anathema to me.

 

[Never Alive]

Fuck pssd

 

[phersper]

Yes, antidepressants and neuroleptics. But long story. They made me suicidal and I attempted while I was discontinuing them and I was convincted in a psych ward where they kill me within a week giving me insane poisons. I quitted everything one year ago except for some benzos. We are living a fucking nightmare. Something a normal person cannot never understand. We should be eligible for MAID.

I think I went through the same as you. I'm free from the psych ward since may, next week I ll be done with the wean off from zyprexa but still, I think I m ruined forever. No emotions, can't feel alcohol, coffee, nicotine, ED, etc etc… I got into psych ward because I tried to ctb while weaning off the antidepressants which made me anhedonic and gave me pssd. Life sucks so much right now. It's been 7 months into this hell and I have very few hope it will get better and I ll find myself again…

Even though it won't make your situation any better, just know you re not the first one who went through a similar type of hellish situation…

 

[Spiritual survivor]

This is one of the saddest ones I've read lately I can't even imagine. I realize we aren't here primarily to worship sex over everything but I understand totally how u must feel. I put sex up very high on a pedestal as a young woman. I literally lived for it and how good it felt to be wanted and the euphoria, and getting to share that with another person. It's painful to lose it. I ended up losing my libido to some degree and attractiveness which has made sex harder to come by.

Also because I subjected myself to repeated heartbreaks thru casual sex, I'm more afraid of sex because of the emotional attachment. Anyways my point is, we all lose this eventually because of aging and becoming less desireable to the opposite sex over time. I know this doesn't help at all in the here and now. I eventually lost the joy I used to get from casual sex especially after becoming Christian. It's one of the things that happens when u become born again, u start to lose interest in things of the flesh and start living from your spirit.

I do understand why u miss the former easily available sex and attention u used to get from women but I will tell u this. If u were not committed to any of those women and mainly just having casual sex, some of them were probably hurt because u were just using them for sex and validation, attention. Men are more geared up for short term mating strategy because there's less cost to them emotionally from uncommitted sex and they don't get pregnant, but women are wired for long term mating strategy because of the emotional attachment thru sex, and risk of pregnancy.

The only way u can move on from this is to start living for something different which gives u meaning. Sex was never intended to be used in the way that people are using it today which causes alot of destruction to women and unborn children who are taken out because of the meaningless sex pple have with people they barely know, or people they are not committed to and have no intention of committing to.

Because of all the casual sex I had as a young woman I was left childless from repeat abortions and I didn't know I needed to marry and was afraid to because I was raised in dysfunctional home environment by single mother. As a result I'm alone at age 46, no partner, no children, no sex. It's lonely. I could find sex if I wanted to but it won't be with someone who actually cares about me or is invested longterm, the risk of heartbreak due to one sided attachment, so I don't seek it out anymore. The guys im attracted to are usually attracted to younger women. So there's only guys interested im not interested in lol!

 

[innerentropy]

I think I went through the same as you. I'm free from the psych ward since may, next week I ll be done with the wean off from zyprexa but still, I think I m ruined forever. No emotions, can't feel alcohol, coffee, nicotine, ED, etc etc… I got into psych ward because I tried to ctb while weaning off the antidepressants which made me anhedonic and gave me pssd. Life sucks so much right now. It's been 7 months into this hell and I have very few hope it will get better and I ll find myself again…

Even though it won't make your situation any better, just know you re not the first one who went through a similar type of hellish situation…

Yes man, you may guess who am I. How are you now?

 

[phersper]

Yes man, you may guess who am I. How are you now?

Hey, Very sad men… planning on ctb'ing soon… you?

 

[innerentropy]

Hey, Very sad men… planning on ctb'ing soon… you?

I may relate. I wrote you in private.

 

[LifeDestroyedMe]

"Unfortunately he's talking about a permanent destruction of sexuality that is a known possible effect of serotonergic antidepressants and some other drugs."

Yes, thats correct. They caused like a serotonin syndrom in my brain leading to a complete shut down of emotions and genitals. This condition is called PSSD and there is no cure for it as the mechanism behind it is not understood yet. It has high suicide rate unfortunately.

Due this damage i also suffer from anhedonia, no feelings, no emotions, cannot cry, cannot enjoy music or films, no empathy for my loved ones, i do not react to alcohol, coffee or drugs anymore. It's like game over..

Im in the same boat as you man. Life sucks

 

[aenid]

Treating women like disposable cock receptacles is not ok. Sounds like karma to me.

 

[SexyIncél]

Treating women like disposable cock receptacles is not ok. Sounds like karma to me.

Sounds more like the death penalty than karma. Sharing pleasures with someone doesn't suddenly mean you need to marry them

One woman here banged a bunch of guys. Almost certainly broke some hearts, treating them like disposable dildos. But so what? We're here to support OPs, and if any of the heartbroken people want to post, we can support them too

 

[Ashu]

Treating women like disposable cock receptacles is not ok. Sounds like karma to me.

This is a suicidal person you're talking to. What are you doing here?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Treating women like disposable cock receptacles is not ok. Sounds like karma to me.

This is way to harsh. And I'm saying that as a female.

 

[PlathWannaBe]

I am completely in the same situation @Pardoe84. I took the SSRI Citalopram for almost 10 years. I slowly came off of it in 2020, and I have now been suffering for 3 years with serious erectile dysfunction. It is extremely difficult for me to keep an erection and I can barely ejaculate, or I have serious premature ejaculation.

For some of the people attacking OP, and saying he wasn't being respectful of women- I am a gay man, and this is horrible and also makes me want to Ctb.

I also love sex, and I love having a lot of sex. It is very central to my life. But with PSSD, no guy will want to date me or be with me. It is likely that I will stay single for the rest of my life. I can't even properly masturbate and cum, and that was always an outlet to decompress and let off stress. Now that is gone as well.

Do not judge OP. We just want our bodies to function again. Sex is an integral part of life and being human. When that is taken away, it leaves such a big hole. I am having trouble even functioning in other areas of my life.

 

[Pardoe84]

Sorry to hear that, i know another Gay Man from Germany, he is only 25 and was left with PSSD now. Sex was a very central part in his life and now he cannot date anymore and have Sex because of PSSD, it's very sad. For me it causes deep depression to be chemical castrated and lobotomized without joy and feelings.

I found out 5 other guys all commited suicide because of PSSD, Trazohell, Jrums, Zadig777, Anhedonic Ape and Phillip from Germany. I don't know how much others did already.

 

[figurehead]

Obviously to an extent = since I'm a woman - I can relate to feeling numb in every possible exogenic zone. I've been on a cocktail of psychiatric meds - 7 varying from various dopamine inhibitors to 800 mg of quetiapine (Seroquel) - for almost as many years as I can recall. Anyway, despite already being on some of these meds in my twenties, my sex life was just fine, or at least I thought so. However, as time went by and my sex drive starting wearing out. I must be a man's nightmare. I shun away from any form of affection, kissing feels almost like an assault. There are times that I can relate sex to corporal punishment. Sorry that's horrible to say but I've been on this on and off and off for more than a decade.

 

[SpaxeZ]

I took meds and because of that i went permanently impotent. That means no feeling in genitals, no libido, weak orgasm, low semen volume, soft glans, no morning wood, weak erection, and viagra does not work.

I am 38 and used to be a smart guy, tall, good looking, i had always sucess with the girls. I was very sexual and my one night stands, sex dates, affairs buildt a big part in my life. It made me happy and self confident. And i had also my own sexuality, each day masturbating and to be honest a little addicted to porn.

I have no motivation now anymore for good looking, earn money, and so on. I totally lost the sense if my life. I am completely numb.

Can you understand one will end his life because of that? It is a real torture if i see girls this summer. Normally i approached them and picked them up. Everywhere on the TV, on the web is sexuality. It is torture if you have been hypersexuell like me. I was a DJ in my 20s and had a lot of girls.

People say there are other things in the World. And it's too hard to take ones life "only" because of that. But my sexuality was my life. I cannot accept impotence in my case, impossible. And no girl will accept the impotence either.

I think for one asexuell person maybe it is fine to live with it. But if you read my text now and my whole attitude and my addiction to woman, can you feel it's torture and one want to end his life in order not to see that all anymore?

I'm in the same spot besides I'm only 25! And suicide is not as easy as I thought..
All methods are risky and there is this grief and sadness

I have the same problems. Because of meds I became asexual, ED, not feeling anymore like myself, blunted emotions, disrupted sleep, cognitive impairment, etc etc. I was intelligent, good looking, many friends, interested in many stuff, succesful with girls, living my best life at university.
I had no reason to even think of ctb. Now it's my only choice. It's been 7 months in this shit and I got my SN last week. I m gonna ctb soon.

I'd like to talk more with you. I'm sorry for your situation, I can 1000% relate to it…

Wow OMFG!!!!! I been blaming myself or the past 5 years 24/7 suicidal and feeling unbelievable amount of guilt and shame and self blame as I though masturbation caused this but I can now remember that I got put on Fluoxetine and some other stupid pills as I was dealing with stress of exams and studies… wowwwww
F*CK THIS WORLD

Thank you. Unfortunately there seems to be a permanent receptor damage from SSRI in the brain and there is no known treatment. It probably has sth to do with androgens.

Muscle wastage, penis shrinkness, no feeling in genitals, erectile dysfunktion, glans is always soft, very low semen volume. And i used to last long in bed and had a great penis lenght. women loved that. All switched from the positive into the negative. Oh lord, thats too much for me

OMFG!!!!!!!! I been through hell these past 5 years! I'm only 25! Happened when I was 20 and been blaming myself that wrong masturbation caused this! And now I see how it's pssd and 5 people on this forum killed themselves due to the same!!!!!!! WTH!