Story Destroyed Sex Life

[Spiritual survivor]

That's really heartbreaking I'm sorry this happened to u nothing I could say would help, only that grieve as long as u need to. I wish I could tell u that it's possible to move on from this, and u can overcome this but it requires accepting that the past is gone. What this means is that u have to figure out a way to make your life meaningful despite this tragedy. Imagine that it is possible to still be happy again, without an orgasm or sex. I think u could still find someone but this means u will have to see yourself as still worthy of finding love even though u have this disability. U basically have to adapt and overcome it. I know it may seem like a huge issue now but u can still have a happy life. Don't let this be why u give up on life. Also don't allow this to make u believe terrible feelings about yourself and your value as a guy. I have experienced huge losses in my life also that almost drove me to suicide, but somehow I just kept going and some of it I have gotten over it. U don't think now u will ever get over this but eventually u would move on and find a way to reduce the pain from this.

 

[Pardoe84]

Thanks for your Message, Spiritual Survivor. It's more than just the Sex thing. Nothing is enjoyable for me anymore. I cannot enjoy a film, relax, music does not sound as it used to, i am not exited anymore, cannot feel pleasure from anything, Sport does not give me a fresh feeling after workout, Alkohol does not give me euphoric feeling anymore, no effect from smoking weed, cannot feel emphatic for my loved ones as i want to, all as a result of the brain damage called PSSD. I cannot heal from this. I feel already dead inside. It's like watching the life behind a window. There is no chance to get out of this, the only way to get out of this hell is to ctb, which i will do soon.

 

[NewSereneC]

I totally understand this. I was very sexually active prior to acquiring brain injury and losing a lot of physical function.

 

[Umacon]

"Unfortunately he's talking about a permanent destruction of sexuality that is a known possible effect of serotonergic antidepressants and some other drugs."

Yes, thats correct. They caused like a serotonin syndrom in my brain leading to a complete shut down of emotions and genitals. This condition is called PSSD and there is no cure for it as the mechanism behind it is not understood yet. It has high suicide rate unfortunately.

Due this damage i also suffer from anhedonia, no feelings, no emotions, cannot cry, cannot enjoy music or films, no empathy for my loved ones, i do not react to alcohol, coffee or drugs anymore. It's like game over..

Same here

 

[Old Friend]

Yep, I think my sex drive may be permanently damaged too. I've reduced my medication, because what's the point if I'm not going to get better, and it's improved but not back to what it was.

Just as well I don't get any action despite being in a relationship.

 

[Linda]

The only glimmer of hope I can see is that in some people PSSD and its effects are not permanent. You say you have had this for 6 years, so the outlook doesn't look good, but it might be worth hanging in there for a couple more years. I was plagued with chronic fatigue for 10 years, and nothing the doctors did helped at all. It was pretty bad. Then a friend persuaded me to go see a homeopathic doctor who had once cured her mother of a troublesome skin condition. I don't believe in homeopathy, but my friend was insistent, so I went. I followed the advice the doctor gave me, and within 7 days the fatigue had completely lifted. It has not returned. I am not suggesting you visit a homeopathist (I was lucky to get an exceptionally talented one, who also had a conventional medical training), I'm just pointing out that apparently incurable conditions are not always incurable.

 

[Old Friend]

My goodness, if there's a cure for chronic fatigue I need to know about it.

 

[Linda]

My goodness, if there's a cure for chronic fatigue I need to know about it.

Chronic fatigue is a group of illnesses (all of them poorly understood), not a single illnesses, so my experience won't apply to everyone. In my case, it started shortly after I had an operation for appendicitis. I always suspected that there was a link, but I couldn't prove it, and my suspicion didn't suggest any useful treatment. The very smart homeopathist reckoned that the general anesthetic had caused damage to my mitochondria. (Putting it simply, mitochondria are the organelles in cells responsible for producing energy). She prescribed some pills to counteract the effect of the anesthetic. She also reasoned that caffeine puts a lot of stress on mitochondria, which might not be a good idea if they are damaged, and since I used to drink a lot of coffee she suggested I cut out caffeine and see what happened. I don't know whether it was her pills or avoiding caffeine that fixed the problem - and, to be honest, I don't care. I'm just glad it has gone, and giving up coffee permanently is a small price to pay for getting a life again. Some kinds of chronic fatigue seem to be caused by viruses, and what worked for me probably wouldn't work in those cases.

 

[Old Friend]

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

I caught a heavy cold when I was 15 and never fully recovered from it. Got the same thing again at 17 and it made me worse.

I drink a lot of tea but not so much coffee. Maybe I should try cutting it out as an experiment.

 

[Linda]

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

I caught a heavy cold when I was 15 and never fully recovered from it. Got the same thing again at 17 and it made me worse.

I drink a lot of tea but not so much coffee. Maybe I should try cutting it out as an experiment.

It sounds as though a virus set off your fatigue. (The virus may or may not still be there.) It's easy to do an experiment and cut out caffeine for a few weeks. If the problem in your case is that the virus is still there and causing trouble, or that you eliminated the virus but your immune system didn't shut down properly, then cutting out caffeine probably won't make any difference. But there is only one way to find out. If you do have some success, please tell me.

 

[Old Friend]

Will do. Cheers.

 

[mortuarymary]

I had a huge sex drive then meds came and nothing. Poor partner bit to use porn hub to get his kicks.

 

[Old Friend]

Porn's just not the same. An emotional connection with your hand can only go so far.

 

[mortuarymary]

Porn's just not the same. An emotional connection with your hand can only go so far.

For a man yes, for a woman I need a connection

 

[Old Friend]

I'm pretty sure men do too. I certainly do. That was what I was saying. Porn doesn't cut it as a long term solution.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

It's not true that no girl will accept ED.
But one night stands probably won't.

 

[Pardoe84]

It is not only ED. It is complete sexual dysfunction.

 

[JRE75]

Hello Pardoe84, have you tried testosterone replacement therapy?
I am in a similar situation. Although, my sex life is destroyed, unable to get an erection, I feel weak, without energy. I used to be very sporty and a big part of my life was sex. I think the last alternative before CBT is to try TRT.

 

[Pardoe84]

No i did not try TRT. I was in a clinic where they found my Testosterone is in range. They only do TRT if Testosterone is too low. I am sorry that you are going through the same.

 

[cheems]

Dealing with the same effects. Not from PSSD, but from self-induced possible nerve injury from using a god damn sex toy. Disgusted at myself. Been going through this for 118 days. I want out already. Not to diminish or downplay any of the ladies' problems at all, but this is especially torturous for a man in a way only another man can understand, I believe. It lead me to stop enjoying everything. I quit using all the drugs I liked, I stopped talking to friends and family, I have no energy to do non-sexual things I enjoyed doing and studying and practicing, I eat like shit now, I'm basically a vegetable that moves and thinks about what I once was.

Yeah, some people have it even worse (thinking about partial or total body paralysis and chronic pain), but the sheer boredom and tedium I feel makes me almost certain this is not a life worth living. I already had (undiagnosed) depressive tendencies which I plainly refused to treat, because I thought (and still think) taking some drug to feel less bad is just invalidating the reasons I have to feel bad.

Most of us here are not well, so it's common place to say that about myself anyway, but what happened 4 months ago might have been the last drop. I do not think I can handle this for too much longer, especially not knowing whether it will/does heal or not. Visiting a third urologist in 14 hours.

I guess the best thing I can add to this conversation after venting is, it might be worth not do anything definitively drastic while we're not sure whether things are fixable or not. Best of luck to us. We deserve it. There is a realistic chance we can power through this.

 

[sanction]

No i did not try TRT. I was in a clinic where they found my Testosterone is in range. They only do TRT if Testosterone is too low. I am sorry that you are going through the same.

Sorry to hear your situation. Due to there being many posts in this thread, I did not read every single posts, but I did read your very first post

Just curious, is this situation only (or mainly) happening while you are still actively taking the medication, or do you mean you have already completely stopped the anti-depressant medication, but yet still experiencing this problem??

Because I've heard of sexual dysfunction (or low sex drive) as a common side effect while taking anti-depressant medications. But usually after quitting the medication, after some time it begins to recover back to normal, or at least close to normal

Can you confirm which one is your situation? Since you mentioned "permanently impotent"

If you did already stopped the medication, how long has it been since you've completely stopped it?

 

[Lenamoontree]

Pardoe84 is sadly dead

 

[PlathWannaBe]

Pardoe84 is sadly dead

Yes, I also found out recently that he has passed away. I messaged with him here quite a bit. I'm really sad to see that he has gone, but I understand. His suffering was too great :(

 

[R_N]

Another victim of big pharma...

 

[GuylumBardot]

RIP. We'll get justice one day.

 

[PlathWannaBe]

RIP. We'll get justice one day.

Yes, I hope so.

Do you have PSSD too?

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I took a nasal spray - xylometazoline- for 2.5 years when it's designed for use for 1 week only. Unfortunately, my use of this medication has resulted in permanent erectile dysfunction. To say I am unhappy about this is an understatement. I'm suicidally depressed by it. I will CTB if doctors cannot fix it.

 

[GuylumBardot]

Yes, I hope so.

Do you have PSSD too?

I have PFS but as you probably know they're nearly identical