Venting Really hate being gay

[Ijustcantanymore]

It's like taking a handicap during character creation. Same as being part of any minority/marginalized group.

It's just a bunch of loneliness, self hatred because gay men are some of the most shallow alive. Longing for things and relationships I'll never have.

This isn't about being an incel. I can take or leave sex. It's about looking at men and feeling like I will never matter because I don't fit into any of the conventions. Not to mention that it's basically impossible to meet non straight men without the use of Grindr or some shit like it.

You know me and my friends have been watching stranger things and it's been incredibly triggering for me. From Will's personal struggle to watching the best friend/brotherly relationship that's formed between Dustin and Steve and I think about my own life and how I've never experienced something like that.

My partner is the first person and the only man to ever truly love me, without condition. Or love me at all. And it's difficult to accept sometimes.

But like I want more men in my life. He is the only one. Doesn't need to be sex or even romance. But men I can connect with on a human level. Because I've never really had that. My relationship with my partner is unique and also not conventional.

I just hate having any of these feelings frankly. I don't want to be longing for anything. I don't want to pine over men. I don't want to feel this way at all. I'd rather just have no sexuality at all. Period. None of this absurd need for attachment to... Humans *shudders*.

It's torture. This is all torture. Being gay has added nothing of value to my life. And no I just realized the absurdity of being "proud" of something that makes people hate you and makes your life far more difficult for almost no reward.

Like why?

Sometimes I wish conversion therapy was legit and not just a way for adults to torture children for fun.

I just want death instead of any of this. I want an end. And not another 50 goddamned years from now.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Yes, you can't choose attraction and in general attraction towards humans from what I've seen can suck big time. I'm not really attracted to people; I don't see them romantically at all and sexually I don't really care; I don't really have a preference. There have been forceful attempts at making me try not to be like this and it fucking sucked; from peer pressure and physical force at school to family abuse at home BUT after I understood that even before the attempts to change me I felt no attraction to anyone, I came back to my senses and once I was an adult and out of the 13-16 YO range, I came back to a normal thankfully...

Outside of that I have the same experience in normal relationships, very shallow people everywhere, it's hard to find good people who don't value you based on the catalogue of traits you have/don't have. You shouldn't be a femboy or a normal man or a fat man or a "bear" man or anything really to be able to hold conversations with people but most people don't see the world this way; this goes for girls too.

I'm also not proud of many things that some say I should be proud of -> autism.
I'm also not proud of being human, because humans are the ones who do all this hateful shit in the first place, hating gay people, trans people, black people, disabled people, mentally ill people, etc....

 

[RadiantNumber]

Being gay is normal
Beign stupif bigot isn't

I'm also not proud of being human, because humans are the ones who do all this hateful shit in the first place, hating gay people, trans people, black people, disabled people, mentally ill people, etc....

Welcome to the club, humanity should perish, they make world only worst

 

[Worndown]

Years ago PBS did a show that covered this. About 10 to 15 percent of the population swings differently. Gay, Bi, whatever...it has been and will be.
The problem is not this segment of the population, it is the unenlightened, hateful people. They cause problems for others too. Racism comes from somewhere.
We should pity them for being who they are.