Story Destroyed Sex Life

[Pardoe84]

I took meds and because of that i went permanently impotent. That means no feeling in genitals, no libido, weak orgasm, low semen volume, soft glans, no morning wood, weak erection, and viagra does not work.

I am 38 and used to be a smart guy, tall, good looking, i had always sucess with the girls. I was very sexual and my one night stands, sex dates, affairs buildt a big part in my life. It made me happy and self confident. And i had also my own sexuality, each day masturbating and to be honest a little addicted to porn.

I have no motivation now anymore for good looking, earn money, and so on. I totally lost the sense if my life. I am completely numb.

Can you understand one will end his life because of that? It is a real torture if i see girls this summer. Normally i approached them and picked them up. Everywhere on the TV, on the web is sexuality. It is torture if you have been hypersexuell like me. I was a DJ in my 20s and had a lot of girls.

People say there are other things in the World. And it's too hard to take ones life "only" because of that. But my sexuality was my life. I cannot accept impotence in my case, impossible. And no girl will accept the impotence either.

I think for one asexuell person maybe it is fine to live with it. But if you read my text now and my whole attitude and my addiction to woman, can you feel it's torture and one want to end his life in order not to see that all anymore?

 

[The anhedonic one]

I have been blessed with a very low sex drive. It makes life far less complicated because I don't have to worry about not getting laid and being tormented by sexual urges.
Yet I'm sorry that the meds did this to you, and that it has effected you in this way.

 

[stillunemployed]

I had an intense desire for your kind of lifestyle about 10 years ago. I failed miserably, got lots of rejections and just shut myself up and lived in video games and tv shows.

I never understood how it was so easy for everyone else. I could never fix my "vibe".

And like all other desires, they just went numb and vanished eventually.

Side effect from meds vary by longevity, of course I dont know what youre taking. You could get all of your libido back in a punch, that's something that happened to me after I stopped taking meds.
I think someone could/will reach out to you. You seemed to make a lot of connections, if what you say is true.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Sorry that meds had such awful side effects. Yes I can fully understand you that life isn't worth to be lived for you any more. You lost sth that made your life worth to be lived for you personally. You lost that and you can't recover, it's like a traumatic experience. It's "easy" for others who don't know how such an experience really feels to say "you'll find sth else, life goes on" (I hate toxic positivity!!!). I'm in a similar situation though my reasons are completely different to yours, the result is the same in the end.

 

[Ashu]

I took meds and because of that i went permanently impotent. That means no feeling in genitals, no libido, weak orgasm, low semen volume, soft glans, no morning wood, weak erection, and viagra does not work.

I am 38 and used to be a smart guy, tall, good looking, i had always sucess with the girls. I was very sexual and my one night stands, sex dates, affairs buildt a big part in my life. It made me happy and self confident. And i had also my own sexuality, each day masturbating and to be honest a little addicted to porn.

I have no motivation now anymore for good looking, earn money, and so on. I totally lost the sense if my life. I am completely numb.

Can you understand one will end his life because of that? It is a real torture if i see girls this summer. Normally i approached them and picked them up. Everywhere on the TV, on the web is sexuality. It is torture if you have been hypersexuell like me. I was a DJ in my 20s and had a lot of girls.

People say there are other things in the World. And it's too hard to take ones life "only" because of that. But my sexuality was my life. I cannot accept impotence in my case, impossible. And no girl will accept the impotence either.

I think for one asexuell person maybe it is fine to live with it. But if you read my text now and my whole attitude and my addiction to woman, can you feel it's torture and one want to end his life in order not to see that all anymore?

I completely understand, I'm completely sympathetic.

Side effect from meds vary by longevity, of course I dont know what youre taking. You could get all of your libido back in a punch, that's something that happened to me after I stopped taking meds.

Unfortunately he's talking about a permanent destruction of sexuality that is a known possible effect of serotonergic antidepressants and some other drugs.

 

[Pardoe84]

"Unfortunately he's talking about a permanent destruction of sexuality that is a known possible effect of serotonergic antidepressants and some other drugs."

Yes, thats correct. They caused like a serotonin syndrom in my brain leading to a complete shut down of emotions and genitals. This condition is called PSSD and there is no cure for it as the mechanism behind it is not understood yet. It has high suicide rate unfortunately.

Due this damage i also suffer from anhedonia, no feelings, no emotions, cannot cry, cannot enjoy music or films, no empathy for my loved ones, i do not react to alcohol, coffee or drugs anymore. It's like game over..

 

[stillunemployed]

That's terrible.

 

[TimetoGo!]

"Unfortunately he's talking about a permanent destruction of sexuality that is a known possible effect of serotonergic antidepressants and some other drugs."

Yes, thats correct. They caused like a serotonin syndrom in my brain leading to a complete shut down of emotions and genitals. This condition is called PSSD and there is no cure for it as the mechanism behind it is not understood yet. It has high suicide rate unfortunately.

Due this damage i also suffer from anhedonia, no feelings, no emotions, cannot cry, cannot enjoy music or films, no empathy for my loved ones, i do not react to alcohol, coffee or drugs anymore. It's like game over..

did you overdose on the meds?

 

[Aisley]

Sex is a quality of life. Masturbation is a quality of life. There are times when I use the latter as medication. Or smth. Anyways, I understand your reason. And there have been a few men who had this specific side effect from meds come through here- just in case it's a comfort to know there are others.

 

[Pardoe84]

did you overdose on the meds?

No. I was in a mental hospital because of burnout in my new job. They gave me the antidepressant Cymbalta (Duloxetin) and with the first pill i noticed there happens something crazy. I had to cry and laugh at same time, i had an erection. I thought "wow my Depression seems to heal and the meds work" but next day all my emotions and my sexuality shut down. I have no feeling in my genitals since this day. I know it sounds hard to believe but its true. This is severe brain damage from meds. Thats why i am here.

And there have been a few men who had this specific side effect from meds come through here- just in case it's a comfort to know there are others.

You mean they recovered and did not ctb?

Here in Germany there is one story, where a doctor did cheap penis enlargement surgery and with 5 people the surgery went wrong and caused irreparabel impotence. 2 of the 5 did suicid. You can read this story, it's true.

 

[surewhynot]

I feel this post one-thousand percent. I've recently developed ED (it led to the implosion of my last relationship), and now know that meds may be the culprit. Is this a permanent thing?

 

[Pardoe84]

Thank you. Unfortunately there seems to be a permanent receptor damage from SSRI in the brain and there is no known treatment. It probably has sth to do with androgens.

Muscle wastage, penis shrinkness, no feeling in genitals, erectile dysfunktion, glans is always soft, very low semen volume. And i used to last long in bed and had a great penis lenght. women loved that. All switched from the positive into the negative. Oh lord, thats too much for me

 

[stage4johnny]

I hope there is some way you can get your feeling back again! You say its hopeless,maybe there might be a way,you've got to research it.
Good luck.

 

[LittleJem]

I don't know if it helps but there is a FB group on anhedonia which mentions pramiprexole.

It sounds horrifying, am so sorry this happened to you.

 

[alonely]

this is the top reason that i am terrified of antidepressants. sexual pleasure is the only good feeling that I experience.

 

[Pardoe84]

Yes, if you have to use Antidepressants due to mental illness better do not take SSRI/SNRI. Choose another med group.

 

[Ashu]

I feel this post one-thousand percent. I've recently developed ED (it led to the implosion of my last relationship), and now know that meds may be the culprit. Is this a permanent thing?

You need to know that sexual dysfunctions are common side effects of many psychiatric and other drugs, but they usually fade when you stop taking the drug. That was my experience with serotonergic antidepressants: I suffered sexual side effects from some of them, but my sexual function returned to normal after I stopped taking them. But an unfortunate minority of people suffer some degree of devastating permanent sexual damage. And that danger is always there for anyone who takes these drugs, and unpredictable.

this is the top reason that i am terrified of antidepressants. sexual pleasure is the only good feeling that I experience.

That's exactly how I felt in those years, and this was overwhelmingly the main reason that I was never able to make myself keep taking those drugs. It is absolutely not fucking worth the risk.

 

[schrei_nach_liebe]

My dick barely works. I think the nerves got fried when I got circumcised (not as a baby, and there wasn't a good reason for it). Also, can't cum on Lexapro at all, not even a little. Haven't had much of an issue with other drugs and I take like 11 on a daily basis.

 

[Ashu]

My dick barely works. I think the nerves got fried when I got circumcised (not as a baby, and there wasn't a good reason for it).

What _was_ the reason? I was obsessively fucked up about my circumcision forever, and always will be, at least a little, though fortunately the obsession somehow never affected my potency.

Love your username, by the way. Are you German or just a germanist?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

OP I'm really sorry for what happened to you. This really proves that meds cannot heal most of the "mental illnesses" because they never address the real cause and reason of a mental illness (let it be "burnout" or whatever else). I personally would always and will always reject any medication in the field of "mental illness" as this is far to complex and it not nearly understood in it's basics terms my medicicne studies.

Op I'm, really sorry what you have to go through is killing a life.

 

[schrei_nach_liebe]

What _was_ the reason? I was obsessively fucked up about my circumcision forever, and always will be, at least a little, though fortunately the obsession somehow never affected my potency.

Love your username, by the way. Are you German or just a germanist?

Lol not German, wouldn't describe myself as a Germanist either lol. I do speak German though and love lots of German music and film. I'm a lover of many cultures and languages.

The reason, idk, it could be because I obsess over it, it could be the fact that 50% of the nerves I was born with are gone, could be the fact that I still remember what it felt like just to have it (but at that age I hadn't messed with it, I was 9). Like just the way it feels in my pants feels wrong still and it's been 24 years since that happened.

 

[Aisley]

You mean they recovered and did not ctb?

Here in Germany there is one story, where a doctor did cheap penis enlargement surgery and with 5 people the surgery went wrong and caused irreparabel impotence. 2 of the 5 did suicid. You can read this story, it's true.

No, sorry. I mean they came to this site because they were suicidal. Recovery, when it happens, doesn't get screamed from the rooftops here. I think most of those just leave.
I hope that doctor lost his license at the very least. That's horrible. In so many ways, the health system, as a whole, physical and especially psychological, is in its infancy, and we're lab rats to these people.

Lol not German, wouldn't describe myself as a Germanist either lol. I do speak German though and love lots of German music and film. I'm a lover of many cultures and languages.

The reason, idk, it could be because I obsess over it, it could be the fact that 50% of the nerves I was born with are gone, could be the fact that I still remember what it felt like just to have it (but at that age I hadn't messed with it, I was 9). Like just the way it feels in my pants feels wrong still and it's been 24 years since that happened.

I think he was asking why you got circumcised at nine.

 

[Pardoe84]

Today i went to the beach with an old friend of mine, hoping i could relax a little bit. But i really cannot relax 2 minutes, i am always focussed on this horrible damage in my mind.

People say to me don't be too much alone at home, go out, you can do anything if you want. But at the beach today i was triggered a lot from the nice girls everywhere. That made me very sad. I used to approach them, flirt with them, pick them up.

I even have been in the pickup community, where they discuss strategies to approach and lay women. That has been a great Lifestyle for me. I used to talk to the girls in Shopping Center or anywhere, there are so many possibilities.

Imagine a pickup artist got castrated. His life is tortoure now, seeing all the girls, they find you very attractive, but you are unable to do something, from what motivation?

People do not understand it. They say try to find other things now. Sex is not such important. Or search a girl that is your real love. If she loves you she will understand. One must know my sex life was mostly affairs and one night stands, just 2 or 3 relationships that only lastet some months.

A good looking, smart DJ and pickup Artist cannot cope with that. It's too much. I am addicted to women, i think you can feel this while reading. People are still saying you cannot off your self just because of Sex. But it's way more.

 

[terminalending]

Your devotion to sex looks strange to me, and to be honest it seems like a stupid reason to end your life. Are you living only for sexual stimulation? Did the deprivation of sexual stimulation suddenly take away all the other fun things in life? You said you were a little addicted to porn. Like nicotine and alcohol addiction, maybe it's time to recognize and fix that addiction?

 

[Aisley]

They're saying that because they're mentally castrated. And if they can live that way, then good for them, but it's not for everyone, is it?

Is there a chance this side effect will wear off in time? It would be worth waiting for. I mean, if I knew there was sex at the end of my road, I'd keep walking.

 

[Pardoe84]

Your devotion to sex looks strange to me, and to be honest it seems like a stupid reason to end your life. Are you living only for sexual stimulation? Did the deprivation of sexual stimulation suddenly take away all the other fun things in life? You said you were a little addicted to porn. Like nicotine and alcohol addiction, maybe it's time to recognize and fix that addiction?

No i am not living just for sex, also because of my family, friends and some other things. I wish i could feel all the other fun of things of life. But due to brain damage from antidepressants i cannot feel it. I have had also gambling disorder and made therapy because of this.

What i want to say is with only the Sex thing maybe i could cope, it would get hard but maybe i could. But on top there is no feelings, no joy, no emotions, anhedonia, cannot feel music, cannot feel films, even alcohol, THC, coffein cannot affect me anymore. This is called PSSD and is longterm brain damage from antidepressants.

Is there a chance this side effect will wear off in time? It would be worth waiting for. I mean, if I knew there was sex at the end of my road, I'd keep walking.

Some are getting better over time but only less. For me it is 1,5 years without any improvent now.

 

[terminalending]

No i am not living just for sex, also because of my family, friends and some other things. I wish i could feel all the other fun of things of life. But due to brain damage from antidepressants i cannot feel it. I have had also gambling disorder and made therapy because of this.

What i want to say is with only the Sex thing maybe i could cope, it would get hard but maybe i could. But on top there is no feelings, no joy, no emotions, anhedonia, cannot feel music, cannot feel films, even alcohol, THC, coffein cannot affect me anymore. This is called PSSD and is longterm brain damage from antidepressants.

sex to cope? seems strange, but if it helps it helps! still, now that you can't have sex, why not look for other solutions? it's inevitable, no? it feels like more than just lack of sex is the problem. still, suicide is a personal choice. if it is your choice, it is your choice!

 

[Aisley]

sex to cope? seems strange, but if it helps it helps! still, now that you can't have sex, why not look for other solutions? it's inevitable, no? it feels like more than just lack of sex is the problem. still, suicide is a personal choice. if it is your choice, it is your choice!

That's not what he's saying. He could cope if he had to live without sex. But he has anhedonia. Impossible to describe, but it's maybe like living life from two rooms over? Sensations are dead in every aspect.

 

[terminalending]

That's not what he's saying. He could cope if he had to live without sex. But he has anhedonia. Impossible to describe, but it's maybe like living life from two rooms over? Sensations are dead in every aspect.

sorry! will read greater next time

 

[Aisley]

Some are getting better over time but only less. For me it is 1,5 years without any improvent now.

Pfft. 1.5 years is nothing. I'm on like year six. No, that's not fair. I can still masturbate. I would say, though, find out from those who have recovered, how long it's possible to take, and be willing to wait that time. If I could have sex once every year and a half, I'd prolly wait for it gratefully, like a fucking dog, and lick the hand afterward. And as a man, you don't have that immediate expiry date of desirablility that we women do. I would wait. This is some kind of hell, though. i'm sorry.