• Light/Dark
  • Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):

ctb tonight

H

humanhuman

Member
Apr 24, 2022
9
I'll stay on here and chat with you, if you'll let me. Regardless of what your decision is. We can talk about your favorite songs or someone you're pissed at, the type of dog you would've liked to have or something you think people ought to know
 
  • Like
Reactions: Shu
natali4

natali4

Student
May 24, 2021
147
@humanhuman I really appreciate you, but I don't want to be saved, I just want support to leave...
I just took 30mg meto
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CloseFriendofCamus, Dead Meat, Glowarm and 1 other person
A

anonperson

Member
Mar 28, 2022
10
have you tried water fasting for a few days?
 
N

nohopeleft69

Member
Mar 24, 2022
10
I can understand your frustration with not ctb as I've been kicking myself everytime I've set a date and then not following thru the next day is just dread and doom. For me anyway. Today I tried od on fentanyl and I guess it wasnt enough but I do still have more i just thought it wouldnt fail at the amount I already took....ugh life sucks
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: natali4
natali4

natali4

Student
May 24, 2021
147
So the final step left is SN. I prepared two glasses. One with crushed propranolol and one without. I'm getting sweaty, I don't know if it is because of the the propranlol I took earlier or because I am nervous
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: houseofleaves, CloseFriendofCamus, Dead Meat and 2 others
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
natali4 said:
So the final step left is SN. I prepared two glasses. One with crushed propranolol and one without. I'm getting sweaty, I don't know if it is because of the the propranlol I took earlier or because I am nervous
Click to expand...
Probably nervous. I don't want to help soothe your worries because I don't want to come across as encouraging suicide. That being said, if you're too nervous to right now, it is not your time to go.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wantogonow and onlyanimalsaregood
onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
I'm so sorry natali that life got you to this point 😔 It's really unfair. I hope you reconsider but I wish you the best whatever happens.
 
  • Love
Reactions: natali4
H

humanhuman

Member
Apr 24, 2022
9
Just because you're going doesn't mean you have to be alone. We're here for you Natali.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: natali4, nohopeleft69 and xo777
J

JamieJambo

Experienced
Apr 17, 2022
202
natali4 said:
So the final step left is SN. I prepared two glasses. One with crushed propranolol and one without. I'm getting sweaty, I don't know if it is because of the the propranlol I took earlier or because I am nervous
Click to expand...
You still with us?
 
  • Like
Reactions: MatthewV3
T90-Alpha

T90-Alpha

Hopeless
Apr 21, 2022
139
Hope you find peace on the other side, Friend
 
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
I hope, that if you did go through with it, it was the right decision. Maybe we'll meet on the other side :heart::heart::heart:
 
X

xo777

are we almost there?
Apr 5, 2022
170
Good luck on your journey.
I hope it's everything you ever wanted.
 
Shu

Shu

As above, So Below.
Jan 21, 2022
2,487
They said they would delete SS and remove the browser history so maybe they did so. If you're still here i wish you the best.
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: houseofleaves, natali4 and WorthlessTrash
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
.CTB said:
They said they would delete SS and remove the browser history so maybe they did so. If you're still here i wish you the best.
Click to expand...
I use incognito when I post here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Glowarm
L

lost_soul83

Wizard
Jan 7, 2019
638
natali4 said:
Because I am in pain. And I have been in pain for a very long time. Normies say keep going, keep fighting, and things will get better and there will be a happy ending. But I did fight and I did work hard for a very very long time, and now I just can't anymore. I wish people would understand that. Giving up is ok because i just don't have the strength to bear more pain. The only way out is ctb, and that's why I regret not going through with it.
Click to expand...
We'll all love you no matter what decision you make. I wish you and all of us didn't have to suffer so much every single day.
 
  • Love
Reactions: natali4
G

Glowarm

F*ck everyone and everything
Apr 8, 2022
673
natali4 said:
So the final step left is SN. I prepared two glasses. One with crushed propranolol and one without. I'm getting sweaty, I don't know if it is because of the the propranlol I took earlier or because I am nervous
Click to expand...

I really sincerely hope that you find all the peace and happiness and comfort that you deserve, no matter whatever you decide. I wish only the best for you.
 
  • Love
Reactions: natali4
Worndown

Worndown

Angelic
Mar 21, 2019
4,117
Last on yesterday afternoon.
Maybe she made it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: houseofleaves
Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
692
I was holding off on saying anything, but I guess you're really gone. From what you've said, I know you were in a lot of pain and tired, so I really hope you're resting easy now.
 
  • Love
Reactions: natali4
G

Glowarm

F*ck everyone and everything
Apr 8, 2022
673
RIP friend. I'll miss you and miss chatting with you. Hope you're at peace, comfortable and happy.
 
natali4

natali4

Student
May 24, 2021
147
I'm really touched by all your messages, but I failed my ctb. I have been in a dark place last few days, and didn't have the courage to come back and post anything. I'm sorry I feel like I should say more or explain more, but I feel embarrassed and a complete failure. Too weak to live or die. I can't express how much I appreciate you all!
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: houseofleaves, JustRandomGuy, downsolong and 11 others
Jred

Jred

Sadness covers me like a blanket.
Apr 26, 2022
33
natali4 said:
I'm really touched by all your messages, but I failed my ctb. I have been in a dark place last few days, and didn't have the courage to come back and post anything. I'm sorry I feel like I should say more or explain more, but I feel embarrassed and a complete failure. Too weak to live or die. I can't express how much I appreciate you all!
Click to expand...
Hey, don't feel embarrassed. We're all here, reading your post because for one reason or another we haven't been successful either, a lot of us still out of fear. I'm glad you feel in a better place to update.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Qwerty12345, surface2007, Dead Meat and 3 others
eLdus

eLdus

Member
Apr 9, 2022
73
natali4 said:
I'm really touched by all your messages, but I failed my ctb. I have been in a dark place last few days, and didn't have the courage to come back and post anything. I'm sorry I feel like I should say more or explain more, but I feel embarrassed and a complete failure. Too weak to live or die. I can't express how much I appreciate you all!
Click to expand...
There's no judgement here. Many of us don't have the courage to even try. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: houseofleaves, Qwerty12345, depressedmaniac and 4 others
J

JamieJambo

Experienced
Apr 17, 2022
202
natali4 said:
I'm really touched by all your messages, but I failed my ctb. I have been in a dark place last few days, and didn't have the courage to come back and post anything. I'm sorry I feel like I should say more or explain more, but I feel embarrassed and a complete failure. Too weak to live or die. I can't express how much I appreciate you all!
Click to expand...
I was wondering about you. Mate don't feel bad or embarrassed for not taking your life. I'm personally glad to see you are still alive. I was worried that maybe you had gone and it didn't sit right with me for some reason. Listen I hope your life turns around and you find a way to live in happiness
 
  • Love
Reactions: Dead Meat and natali4
M

msci4499

Member
Apr 25, 2022
38
natali4 said:
I'm really touched by all your messages, but I failed my ctb. I have been in a dark place last few days, and didn't have the courage to come back and post anything. I'm sorry I feel like I should say more or explain more, but I feel embarrassed and a complete failure. Too weak to live or die. I can't express how much I appreciate you all!
Click to expand...
How to die, when to die is doomed, I can only say that your time has not come! Maybe you will die of old age~ let it be
English is not my native language, I use google translate
 
  • Love
Reactions: Dead Meat
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

itsallogrenow
Venting Quit my Job in Preparation for CTB
Replies
1
Views
222
Suicide Discussion
IdentityDoe
IdentityDoe
BlissfulEnigma
Gonna CTB tonight, goodbye everyone
Replies
6
Views
487
Suicide Discussion
Wishingforadream
Wishingforadream
woofwag
I'm cooked
Replies
2
Views
148
Suicide Discussion
SoLowHollow48
SoLowHollow48
M
"A few months left.."
Replies
5
Views
199
Suicide Discussion
MetallicCognition
M
H
Venting today is my birthday
Replies
13
Views
268
Suicide Discussion
itwasnevermeanttobe
I
Top Bottom