
Return2Dust
Experienced
- Sep 28, 2019
- 246
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Sending you love. Look down on us.Just chugged . Like salt water
Feeling nothing yet. A bit of a burn at the back of the throat
Going to try to sleep now. Can confirm this was peaceful. Now I pray I will not be found until morning. Goodbye. Good luck.
She said 20 grams is what she had.Assuming you've ingested a lethal amount by now; couldn't see from your post how much you took.
Some of the symptoms you posted seem common for SN. Have you tried just getting up a little (still in bed)? Normally people feel faint from that which could be an indication it's working.
Hoping you're still feeling okay
We all have people here who make us feel that way. I have always said. If we met under different circumstances, maybe we wouldn't want to CTB.Woke up to read about her passing and it knocked me like nothing on this forum before. Happy she must now be at peace, my sadness is selfish.
Her bravery doing it so calmly and stoically puts me to shame. I hope we can all be like her in our final hours with SN if that's the road we choose.
Rest well @trynacbt, sleep deep and look down upon us
what do you mean saw? as in followed on here?It can take awhile to lose consciousness. The first SN suicide I saw took 30 mins.
We will be here until the end for you.
I just read the original post again. I read it yesterday and was here for part of the time this was happening. I was so overwhelmed by it that I couldn't make a comment. Her original post is so beautiful and so sad at the same time.
I to be generic, but if there's anything all this has taught me, it's that I don't *want* to die. I in fact love life. It is myself I cannot seem to love. To the point that I cannot understand why others love me. I find myself wishing, like so many of us, I think, I could have another go.
This is the part that got me. I can relate to her not understanding why others love her. I feel the same way. And before that, she says she feels powerless because she can't deal with life the way other people can, which I can also relate to. It is a sad reality though that this is the only solution any of us can find. it's frustrating that this is the only solution there is. Here's another beautiful person gone because of the harsh realities of what it means to be alive. It's not fair and it makes me angry that this is the only way she had to find relief. I'm not angry at her. I'm angry at the rest of the world, at the harshness and unfairness of life. A sensitive person, as she seemed to be, doesn't stand a chance.
This was one of the first times I had actually come on the site when someone was in the process of ctb. Before this, I had only come on and read about it afterward. Also, I wasn't feeling well at all yesterday, emotionally.
For the last day or so I've been feeling kind of strange because today was originally my day to ctb until I decided to wait until after the holidays. Therefore, I had taken a Valium before I came on here and it was starting to take effect, so I was getting drowsy and out of it.
I'm sort of speechless and overwhelmed by this. I'm so sorry it came to this for her and I hope she found relief. I don't know what else to say. It's very sad that you have to do that in your 20s, but I understand it.
May she rest in peace.![]()
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