Discussion Ask a mortician.

[RicoFR]

I was determined far prior to becoming a mortician- however, this profession has certainly given me a much deeper respect for death, as well as its impact on the survivors.

Can you elaborate on what you call your « respect for death »?
Also, how much do you fear it given your very extensive exposure to it?

 

[Pardoe84]

I have a question. How about death by hanging? Die people from compressing the carotid arteries or from suffocation in most cases?

 

[mehdone]

Thanks for your contributions, mehdone!

My question is about firing a shotgun towards the heart. (Likely 12 gauge US3-5 if that matters.)

Will it just be a hole in the chest and lots of blood? Or will the chest blow open with flesh and bones all over the place?

Can a normal mortician make the body look decent for open casket even in the second case?

It will be an absolute mess, period. Shotguns aren't neat.

However, if one were to aim there, it's a place that is covered by clothing, so even a poorly skilled mortician would have no problem making the body look normal and at peace.

Can you elaborate on what you call your « respect for death »?
Also, how much do you fear it given your very extensive exposure to it?

I don't fear it at all. There's really nothing to fear when you see and know that the body after death is an empty shell. Consciousness is gone, sense of self is gone, etc.

My respect for death- I am familiar enough with it to know that it is final. I do not romanticize it like I did in my youth. I understand the impact that it will have on my loved ones. I understand what will happen to my body afterwards.

I understand that there is no coming back from it.

I understand that when I ctb, it's not going to be pretty- but it will be an end to suffering and pain.

I understand and respect just how final it is.

I have a question. How about death by hanging? Die people from compressing the carotid arteries or from suffocation in most cases?

In the vast majority of cases, it is suffocation, not breaking the neck or compressing

 

[RicoFR]

Have you decided on a CTB method?

 

[lastcuriosity]

Are there regularly controversial aspects that you as a mortician encounter with other morticians? Like certain business practices that some mortician say is ok and others say is not ok?

Do you have sort of "favorites" when it comes to calls and cases? Are there deaths that you particularly "like" to deal with?

 

[notreallyhere]

What constitutes as legally binding? If I hand wrote out my will before I go, have a note explaining to police that it's a specific friend I have named in my will I want to be informed of my death and be responsible for my body and informing my family members, and have a typed copy left on my computer and have emailed over a copy as well, considered leaving it in a safe place I imagine, would this be legally binding? Or no because they'd consider it left in an unsound mind? I've been working on it over the last year now, and it's very detailed and thorough and organized. But I would hate for my parents to be called by law enforcement, very estranged and the unstable and there are instructions for my friend to let my cousin know who will tell them. Would this be respected, and giving my names friend control of my remains and belongings and dog?

 

[mehdone]

Have you decided on a CTB method?

I keep oscillating between gun, N gas, night-night, and other obscure methods.

Are there regularly controversial aspects that you as a mortician encounter with other morticians? Like certain business practices that some mortician say is ok and others say is not ok?

Do you have sort of "favorites" when it comes to calls and cases? Are there deaths that you particularly "like" to deal with?

There are plenty of business practices that some folks seem to think are okay, where I'm like, hell no, that's disrespectful and not okay. I can't get into details here, I apologize.

I prefer natural deaths, where the deceased put plans in place. It makes the entire process easier on the survivors.

What constitutes as legally binding? If I hand wrote out my will before I go, have a note explaining to police that it's a specific friend I have named in my will I want to be informed of my death and be responsible for my body and informing my family members, and have a typed copy left on my computer and have emailed over a copy as well, considered leaving it in a safe place I imagine, would this be legally binding? Or no because they'd consider it left in an unsound mind? I've been working on it over the last year now, and it's very detailed and thorough and organized. But I would hate for my parents to be called by law enforcement, very estranged and the unstable and there are instructions for my friend to let my cousin know who will tell them. Would this be respected, and giving my names friend control of my remains and belongings and dog?

No.

Legally binding is a proper legal document in your location. That may differ depending on your location, but it would certainly involve being either notarized or signed by witnesses. Same goes for a will.

Detailed notes don't matter. They will express your wishes, but, when it comes down to it- the person with the right to direct your disposition will determine what is done with you.

First and foremost, that is yourself- if it is done in a legally binding way in your location. Prearrangements that are prepaid are a way to assure this. Other than that, it falls to next of kin. You can create a legally binding document stating that a certain person has the right to control your disposition- however, it will need to be witnessed (other folks beside you and that person will need to witness you signing it, and sign that they witnessed you signing it), and the proper folks will need to have access to that paperwork (on ones body, next to them, etc).

Not knowing your location, I would suggest looking up "durable power of attorney", "living will", as well as wills in general. This will let you know what is legally binding where you live, and give you proper guidance on what needs to be done to make sure your wishes are followed.

 

[viadolorosa]

It will be an absolute mess, period. Shotguns aren't neat.

However, if one were to aim there, it's a place that is covered by clothing, so even a poorly skilled mortician would have no problem making the body look normal and at peace.

Thank you. So in your opinion even weaker loads like birdshots (24g, US7-8) would be guaranteed fatal if aimed at the heart?

 

[Kattt]

In reality, how prevalent is necrophilia in the trade? Please understand, I mean no disrespect. I'm starting back at university soon to move into forensic psychology.

 

[Mistiie]

Hope you're still replying, mehdone. Thanks for this thread.

If you're not able to answer this question, that's cool, but I just wanted to ask. How do you maintain the complexion, physical structure, lack of bowel movements, just any good beautiful physical aspects of your body, when you die? More specifically, how would you go about doing this if you were going with morphine, a benzo, and an antiemetic?

I understand that the antiemetic may lead to you not vomiting, or at least as much, but there's still likely to be something, right? That, plus the fact that you're likely to expel waste from every orifice you can when you die, makes me kind of scared of the timings I should go for. Too soon and I might be found, too late and I might end up shitting the bed. Where's that Goldilocks zone?

Also, how should I/should I ventilate the room? I can opt for hot or cold, well more like lukewarm and cold given shitty U.K weather, but which would be better? Would it even matter in the short-term? I'd probably CTB at around midnight and be found anywhere between 8AM to 1PM which means that it won't have even been half a day in the majority of scenarios, so I want to make sure that my body is presentable when I'm found.

Would it also be worth wearing my nicest clothes, or should I leave that for my parents to decide when I'm found dead? I don't want to soil them and then not have them be wearable as a result if I'm open casket-ed (even if it's more likely I'll be cremated...although even then, it'd still be nice to be found in clean, nice looking clothes that are comfortable yet look good.)

Finally, any way to overpower the stench? I assume, no, know that dead people stink like, well, a rotting corpse. Would perfumes or deodorants or anything be suffice to overcome that horrible smell? It'd be a bit rude to be found dead and have the smell of my bloated (would this happen in 12 hours?) corpse linger around my abandoned room for a month or so.

 

[mehdone]

Thank you. So in your opinion even weaker loads like birdshots (24g, US7-8) would be guaranteed fatal if aimed at the heart?

Yes, although, if I were to go with this method, I would go for overkill- because if something goes wrong and I just punctured my lungs? Yes, it would still be fatal, but it would prolong my suffering.

In reality, how prevalent is necrophilia in the trade? Please understand, I mean no disrespect. I'm starting back at university soon to move into forensic psychology.

It's not prevalent at all. I have no doubt that it happens rarely, but I would consider that to be incredibly rare. I'm not aware of any cases of it.

It's not even something we joke about. The deceased are treated with respect. If the embalmer can't be bothered to show them the dignity of covering their genitalia when they're not actively washing or plugging them? That embalmer should be fired and black balled from the industry.

As I said previously in this post, there ain't nothing sexy about a dead body.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

As I said previously in this post, there ain't nothing sexy about a dead body.

Because you're not a necrophiliac ;).

 

[mehdone]

Hope you're still replying, mehdone. Thanks for this thread.

If you're not able to answer this question, that's cool, but I just wanted to ask. How do you maintain the complexion, physical structure, lack of bowel movements, just any good beautiful physical aspects of your body, when you die? More specifically, how would you go about doing this if you were going with morphine, a benzo, and an antiemetic?

I understand that the antiemetic may lead to you not vomiting, or at least as much, but there's still likely to be something, right? That, plus the fact that you're likely to expel waste from every orifice you can when you die, makes me kind of scared of the timings I should go for. Too soon and I might be found, too late and I might end up shitting the bed. Where's that Goldilocks zone?

Also, how should I/should I ventilate the room? I can opt for hot or cold, well more like lukewarm and cold given shitty U.K weather, but which would be better? Would it even matter in the short-term? I'd probably CTB at around midnight and be found anywhere between 8AM to 1PM which means that it won't have even been half a day in the majority of scenarios, so I want to make sure that my body is presentable when I'm found.

Would it also be worth wearing my nicest clothes, or should I leave that for my parents to decide when I'm found dead? I don't want to soil them and then not have them be wearable as a result if I'm open casket-ed (even if it's more likely I'll be cremated...although even then, it'd still be nice to be found in clean, nice looking clothes that are comfortable yet look good.)

Finally, any way to overpower the stench? I assume, no, know that dead people stink like, well, a rotting corpse. Would perfumes or deodorants or anything be suffice to overcome that horrible smell? It'd be a bit rude to be found dead and have the smell of my bloated (would this happen in 12 hours?) corpse linger around my abandoned room for a month or so.

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but death is not beautiful.

You will shit and piss the bed. If your bowels are empty due to laxatives and fasting, you'll still piss the bed. When you're being transported to the coroner's office and the van goes over a bump- your dead body will fart. Your mouth and eyes will be wide open.

Short of heavy stage makeup over a heavy concealer, your complexion will change and you will be visibly dead.

Cold is better- as cold as you can. Cold slows down decomposition. Heat increases the rate of decomposition.

If I were to go that route, I would turn the a/c on blast, and open a window- I'd make sure that it was screened so that flies and other insects can't get in.

I'd use a strong perfume. I would absolutely *not* wear my best clothes, because I *will* soil them- and also, they would pick up the stench of the morgue cooler while I was waiting to be autopsied. I'd have them in a sealed bag near me with a note saying to dress me in them. Even with cremation, you can have a viewing prior. You can also simply be dressed in your best prior to cremation.

If I was found within 48 hours, and the room was cold- I would not be bloated. The room wouldn't have the smell of death, but it would certainly smell like everything that my body evacuated after death. I'd probably consider wearing a diaper to contain my mess.

I would probably get a couple Air Wick Auto Sprays or a similar timed automatic room scent sprayer thing.

Because you're not a necrophiliac ;).

True. I don't see the appeal.

 

[roguetrader]

From the sounds of it, dead bodies are found pretty much in only 2 conditions - ugly or very ugly

I said this exactly a month ago, but I think I was underestimating things. Now I think the only 2 conditions dead bodies end up is disgusting and very disgusting!

That being said, this is a super informative thread. Thanks for all the info, @mehdone

 

[mehdone]

I said this exactly a month ago, but I think I was underestimating things. Now I think the only 2 conditions dead bodies end up is disgusting and very disgusting!

That being said, this is a super informative thread. Thanks for all the info, @mehdone

Unfortunately, yes.

We can through various methods die peacefully, but we will not be visually appealing in any way when we are found.

We would be more visually appealing if we were found within an hour of our death- our bodies would still be warm, complexion unchanged- if someone were to touch us we would almost feel alive to them.

The problem with being found so quickly is that it would significantly increase the possibility that we would fail and wake up in the hospital.

 

[roguetrader]

Have you seen any mortuary school students drop out within days or weeks of enrollment? I have to imagine some students will realize that that's a field they can't remain in? Or people leaving the career within that kind of span after starting work at a funeral home?

 

[mehdone]

Have you seen any mortuary school students drop out within days or weeks of enrollment? I have to imagine some students will realize that that's a field they can't remain in? Or people leaving the career within that kind of span after starting work at a funeral home?

Yes, and yes.

Mortuary college is difficult. You have to learn everything from anatomy, to physiology, chemistry, law, financial/accounting, makeup/hairstyling and restoration, funeral services and customs of a wide variety of cultures and religions, and so very much else.

Once someone starts actually working in the industry, it's not uncommon for them to decide that it isn't for them. I definitely advise working as an intern while going through schooling, so that one doesn't waste their time and money if it turns out that this is not the career for them. This is not a profession that everyone can handle.

 

[roguetrader]

What was the quickest dropout/quitting you have seen?

Over or under 3 days?

 

[mehdone]

What was the quickest dropout/quitting you have seen?

Over or under 3 days?

I have seen removal technicians quit after their very first removal/pickup.

Thinking you can handle death is one thing- putting your gloved hand on it and carefully picking death up off the floor is another thing entirely.

 

[roguetrader]

I have seen removal technicians quit after their very first removal/pickup.

Thinking you can handle death is one thing- putting your gloved hand on it and carefully picking death up off the floor is another thing entirely.

Wow that's wild, but not unexpected. I'd probably quit during the first pickup, not even after
I couldn't do it for sure

 

[mehdone]

Wow that's wild, but not unexpected. I'd probably quit during the first pickup, not even after
I couldn't do it for sure

Not everyone can.

 

[Rocket]

Netflix doesn't have The Casketeers anymore, the show was removed 5th March 2023. New Zealand TV doesn't have the full series (and you need a VPN to NZ). But all the seasons are here: https://9movies.top/tv/the-casketeers-29868 (not official; also best with a VPN). It's a fascinating show and I can see why you said it's very realistic. Francis' personal trainer is really hot too.

You're amazing, Mehdone. Thank you so much for all the valuable information you're providing.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

True. I don't see the appeal.

It's the passivity that they are into.

 

[mehdone]

It's the passivity that they are into.

I still don't see the appeal.
Having handled hundreds (actually, thousands) of dead bodies, I can say without a doubt that death is gross.

That same passivity could be achieved by knocking out a willing, consenting partner- maybe with chloroform or pills. At least then they'd still be warm- and more importantly, consenting.

 

[bridgegirl]

I still don't see the appeal.
Having handled hundreds (actually, thousands) of dead bodies, I can say without a doubt that death is gross.

That same passivity could be achieved by knocking out a willing, consenting partner- maybe with chloroform or pills. At least then they'd still be warm- and more importantly, consenting.

People will consent to some weird shit.

 

[mehdone]

People will consent to some weird shit.

They really will. There are some strange kinks out there, but as long as it is between two consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with that.

Violating a dead body, however- that would be rape, and that is absolutely *not* okay. I mean, I guess if you got their informed consent while they were still living? I can't imagine anyone actually consenting to that though- and once again, ain't nothing sexy about a dead body.

Death is not pretty.


Anyone have any other questions not related to necrophilia?

 

[RicoFR]

How did you go into that profession? I remember your saying that your family isn't in the business.

 

[mehdone]

How did you go into that profession? I remember your saying that your family isn't in the business.

I've experienced a ridiculous amount of loss and trauma in my life, and I wanted to be there for others during the worst time in their lives- so I chose this profession.

 

[the_last_race]

Are you the owner of the YouTube channel under the same name by any chance?

 

[mehdone]

Are you the owner of the YouTube channel under the same name by any chance?

I am not.