Discussion Ask a mortician.

[mehdone]

Thank you for such a detailed reply .
It has calmed me down a bit.

Can I ask you one more question? )

I think I found a place to jump from.
It's a 25 story building with asphalt all around it.
Hopefully, that's high enough.

How do I land on my head?

I saw your answer in the thread that landing on your feet can make you a vegetable or paralyzed.

I had an experience of falling from a small height (about 1,5 meters) and I couldn't control my body.

I think the only option would be for one to overcome the terror so that they can position their body into a dive. That certainly wouldn't be something I would be capable of- I would be terrified, flailing, and tumbling all the way down.

I would consider tying a decent length of rope around my ankles to act as a tail and help orientate my feet up. I don't think I'd try that off of a building though, there's a chance that rope might get caught on something, and I could end up paralyzed from the sudden stop or the smashing into the building that followed it- and being paralyzed and stuck dangling upside down from a rope on a building doesn't sound appealing to me.

 

[mad_mongo]

can i ask, is it really true that men have a harder time getting hired for mortician jobs because of necrophilia?

my ex-girlfriend was one of the biggest necrophiliacs I EVER met and she was a blonde feminine Austrian chick who got off to seeing dead black people.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Well worded emotional replies. Thank you

My specific issue I've had since I worked as a high-amperage battery backup installer, is epilepsy w/ severe tonic-clonic seizures for over 20 years now.

The Ictal phase with loss of awareness and convulsions is scary enough for others, however the post-Ictal phase is where injures, exhaustion, & confusion bring emotional behavior causing embarrassing movements and reactions like fearless climbing or undressing, sometimes being reported to authorities.

I have regained full consciousness at random times, up to a full hour after the onset, strapped to a stretcher, or stuck in a ditch several hundred feet from my last known location, often with severe injuries(which I have learned to find comical).

What scares me most, is that I've convinced myself how I could unintentionally die during that phase, and investigations may determine that it was suicidal, unless distant family or friends were informed.

I'll never feel comfortable wearing any medical alert devices, unless requirements become enforced...but I'm surprised they haven't.

I'm wondering if any cases like this have been known or reported, since this is my first full explanation.

Thank you again

 

[mehdone]

Well worded emotional replies. Thank you

My specific issue I've had since I worked as a high-amperage battery backup installer, is epilepsy w/ severe tonic-clonic seizures for over 20 years now.

The Ictal phase with loss of awareness and convulsions is scary enough for others, however the post-Ictal phase is where injures, exhaustion, & confusion bring emotional behavior causing embarrassing movements and reactions like fearless climbing or undressing, sometimes being reported to authorities.

I have regained full consciousness at random times, up to a full hour after the onset, strapped to a stretcher, or stuck in a ditch several hundred feet from my last known location, often with severe injuries(which I have learned to find comical).

What scares me most, is that I've convinced myself how I could unintentionally die during that phase, and investigations may determine that it was suicidal, unless distant family or friends were informed.

I'll never feel comfortable wearing any medical alert devices, unless requirements become enforced...but I'm surprised they haven't.

I'm wondering if any cases like this have been known or reported, since this is my first full explanation.

Thank you again

Keep in mind that I am not a coroner- but I think if you accidentally killed yourself in a manner like you described (climbing up something and falling, getting hit by a truck on your way to that ditch, etc.), and there were no witnesses to see the initial seizure, it would likely be deemed a suicide. Although, getting hit by a truck may be ruled accidental unless you ran directly at the truck.

I know that you stated that you're not comfortable wearing any kind of medical alert devices, but I would strongly recommend wearing a medic alert bracelet (or anklet, worn under your sock if you don't want it to be seen) that states your medical condition to ensure that it is considered.

 

[anxious_depressive]

I think the only option would be for one to overcome the terror so that they can position their body into a dive. That certainly wouldn't be something I would be capable of- I would be terrified, flailing, and tumbling all the way down.

I would consider tying a decent length of rope around my ankles to act as a tail and help orientate my feet up. I don't think I'd try that off of a building though, there's a chance that rope might get caught on something, and I could end up paralyzed from the sudden stop or the smashing into the building that followed it- and being paralyzed and stuck dangling upside down from a rope on a building doesn't sound appealing to me.

Thanks for the reply.

Can I write to you in a private message ?

 

[callme]

Oh hello, thanks for being here to help. Double thanks for taking your time out of your way too. It's rare a specialist in a niche trade like this is on our side. You have to be only the 2nd person after an arborist.

1. Is it advisable to die and be buried for an obese person? Being in a poor country, they are cheaply done, so dropping somebody that fat (well, me) will absolutely result in breaking the casket (it has happened more than once) and the body being exposed (orthodox, open-casket burial too, it sucks). Doubt I can arrange to be cremated without suspicions of self-immolation.

2. How can I cheaply be transferred from abroad? I absolutely can't die here.

3. How do you find The Undertaker? Just okay, or too stereotypical?

4. Why the star-sprangled hell do the US laws allow people to live next to, or right in a mortuary, as well as people are unrestricted visiting such places? Isn't it a disrespect to dead people?

5. How do you feel about dead people? Somewhat assured you have upkeep in your job, naturally sad because of the nature of the job, or are you used to the feeling or emptiness and sit comfortably in the middle?

6. To what extent does being used to it can be considered to maintain a normally healthy state of mind? Does any condition or fixation of the mind possibly become prevalent, like living alone can beget mental ilness?

7. It ks a genuine question posed to a real-life mortician as well I once heard. He said in order to keep sane and break monotony, he talked to the dead bodies while arranging their resting place, flowers etc. Do you do that and is it helpful?

8. What's the standart make and model of the hearse? Is it a good utility car otherwise (I mean as a default, stock car not fitted to be a special vehicle)?

9. Do you find decorations and customisations of grave stones etc distasteful?

10. Why do corpses fill out of gas? Why isn't gas supposed to exit the body, why can't it, and which specific gas is it?

11. Do you think it was necessary for the women in the Bible to go after Jesus in the tomb? Wouldn't it be intuitively obvious his body would have been badly decomposed after 2 or 3 days out in the heat in Jerusalem (?) ? And by the way, would the big stone be a hindrance to preserving the body, since it would have stopped air going inside and then possibly "airing" the dead body at least to keep the stench away?


Thank you for your patience. I hope this mind-numbing post is borderline acceptable, like a Law & Order episode.

 

[aleph_zero]

There have been cases where it was clear that someone actually died in the mortuary cooler, not prior to being put into it.

New fear unlocked

But how could this happen? And how long are bodies typically stored in the cooler?

 

[SeaBreeze]

Keep in mind that I am not a coroner- but I think if you accidentally killed yourself in a manner like you described (climbing up something and falling, getting hit by a truck on your way to that ditch, etc.), and there were no witnesses to see the initial seizure, it would likely be deemed a suicide. Although, getting hit by a truck may be ruled accidental unless you ran directly at the truck.

I know that you stated that you're not comfortable wearing any kind of medical alert devices, but I would strongly recommend wearing a medic alert bracelet (or anklet, worn under your sock if you don't want it to be seen) that states your medical condition to ensure that it is considered.

Thanks for your quick reply. I had only told that story to a local sheriff, who refused to answer the question regarding their visit anyway.

I am more than ready to expire, but cannot pull my own plug either

 

[mehdone]

Thanks for the reply.

Can I write to you in a private message ?

Yes, you can.

Oh hello, thanks for being here to help. Double thanks for taking your time out of your way too. It's rare a specialist in a niche trade like this is on our side. You have to be only the 2nd person after an arborist.

1. Is it advisable to die and be buried for an obese person? Being in a poor country, they are cheaply done, so dropping somebody that fat (well, me) will absolutely result in breaking the casket (it has happened more than once) and the body being exposed (orthodox, open-casket burial too, it sucks). Doubt I can arrange to be cremated without suspicions of self-immolation.

2. How can I cheaply be transferred from abroad? I absolutely can't die here.

3. How do you find The Undertaker? Just okay, or too stereotypical?

4. Why the star-sprangled hell do the US laws allow people to live next to, or right in a mortuary, as well as people are unrestricted visiting such places? Isn't it a disrespect to dead people?

5. How do you feel about dead people? Somewhat assured you have upkeep in your job, naturally sad because of the nature of the job, or are you used to the feeling or emptiness and sit comfortably in the middle?

6. To what extent does being used to it can be considered to maintain a normally healthy state of mind? Does any condition or fixation of the mind possibly become prevalent, like living alone can beget mental ilness?

7. It ks a genuine question posed to a real-life mortician as well I once heard. He said in order to keep sane and break monotony, he talked to the dead bodies while arranging their resting place, flowers etc. Do you do that and is it helpful?

8. What's the standart make and model of the hearse? Is it a good utility car otherwise (I mean as a default, stock car not fitted to be a special vehicle)?

9. Do you find decorations and customisations of grave stones etc distasteful?

10. Why do corpses fill out of gas? Why isn't gas supposed to exit the body, why can't it, and which specific gas is it?

11. Do you think it was necessary for the women in the Bible to go after Jesus in the tomb? Wouldn't it be intuitively obvious his body would have been badly decomposed after 2 or 3 days out in the heat in Jerusalem (?) ? And by the way, would the big stone be a hindrance to preserving the body, since it would have stopped air going inside and then possibly "airing" the dead body at least to keep the stench away?


Thank you for your patience. I hope this mind-numbing post is borderline acceptable, like a Law & Order episode.

1. Your weight makes no difference in the choice of burial or cremation. Any coffin or casket maker should be making one that can hold a significant amount of weight, and oversized ones are available. Depending on the weight, there may be an extra charge on top of the normal charge for cremation, because larger bodies need to cremated slower and take more time due to the amount of fatty/lipid tissue.
Making pre-arrangements does not cause suspicions, unless you make an off-handed comment during the process.

2. The cheapest way to get transferred back from abroad is to set up pre-arrangements that include international travel insurance. They're available for a nominal fee. It's kind of like automobile insurance- it doesn't cost that much because they don't expect most folks to actually need the service. There are plans that can be purchased online on their own. Not knowing where you are located, I can't recommend one- but do a search for death travel insurance.

3. I'm not familiar with The Undertaker.

4. I don't find it disrespectful to live in, next to, or visit a mortuary. Bodies are treated with respect, they are not out and visible, unless it is during someone's viewing.

5. Sad.

6. When you're around death every day, it certainly does effect you. I'm not quite sure what you're asking here, feel free to elaborate.

7. Yes, I talk to the dead. It helps me. I'd like to say it helps them as well, but, they're dead.

8. There isn't a standard make or model of a hearse. There are multiple manufacturers, and depending on location, some makes or models are more popular. They are built with stronger suspension than a typical vehicle, and are usually an extended version of a frame from another vehicle.

9. I don't find decorations and customization of headstones or graves to be distasteful at all. It is an expression of love and grief from those left behind.

10. "Gases" are a natural byproduct of bacteria and decomposition. It will eventually find a way to escape, but it has to find that way first- keep in mind that our bodies are not porous/permeable (or at least, our skin is not.)

11. I'd prefer not to talk about religion unless it is a question about a specific religion's methods or requirements for treating the dead, but, a large stone would have no effect on decomposition other than keeping animals out. However, caves have a naturally colder temperature, and a colder temperature would help to slow decomposition.

 

[DepressedChemMajor]

Is Potassium Chloride or Lidocaine HCl detected during autopsy?
Thanks and take care :)

 

[mehdone]

New fear unlocked

But how could this happen? And how long are bodies typically stored in the cooler?

It could happen if breathing and heart rate have slowed, and if that nursing home worker was tired because they'd been working 12+ hour days for weeks on end due to understaffing.

It's incredibly rare.

The length is of time a body is in a cooler depends on the circumstances. Let's say that it was a hospice (expected) death, and all arrangements for cremation were done prior to death- it could be as quick as 24 hours.

If a body is to be embalmed, we prefer to embalm them as quickly as possible after death- it produces the best results. If paperwork and authorizations are on file, it could be as little as a few hours.

If you require an autopsy, it will likely be a minimum of a few days, and from there, the timeframe would depend on arrangements made and timeframe chosen by the family for services. Could be a week or longer.

In reality, unless the body is to be embalmed, figure a minimum of 3 days, typically longer because it can take some time to get burial or cremation authorizations and other requirements in order.

Is Potassium Chloride or Lidocaine HCl detected during autopsy?
Thanks and take care :)

Unfortunately, because I'm not a coroner, I can't answer this question with any certainty.

 

[DearMe]

Yup.

Your mouth will be open, your eyes will be open and faded, you'll likely have crapped and pissed yourself. There is no beautiful death, as far as the body afterwards. Death is not pretty.

How many bodies do you usually encounter in one day? If I can't be pretty with death, is there at least one corpse you encountered that smells good - or what's the most horrible smell you experienced on your work as a mortician?

 

[thewalkingdread]

Are you that nice lady with an YouTube Channel?

 

[mehdone]

How many bodies do you usually encounter in one day? If I can't be pretty with death, is there at least one corpse you encountered that smells good - or what's the most horrible smell you experienced on your work as a mortician?

It depends on the day and the season. Some days it may be zero, some days it may be 5 or 10+.

Depending on location, it can be far more.

Death doesn't smell bad at first, and strong perfume can mask the smell of you evacuating your bowels.

Most horrible smell… that would have to be floaters, especially in the summer time, if they haven't been found for a while.

Are you that nice lady with an YouTube Channel?

I am not her, no.

 

[DearMe]

Death doesn't smell bad at first, and strong perfume can mask the smell of you evacuating your bowels.

Thank you for answering. I'll take note of that. I'll probably go and find men's store perfume cause they all smell good.

With that said, as a mortician, do you find yourself involved in police cases often?
What is the usual result of your autopsies when you examine the body? Any weird deaths you've encountered?
I saw videos of a body getting makeup, do you also do that job? I'm curious to know.
This might be far-fetched, but I saw an article before - where a woman died during intercourse and a man couldn't pull it out because he was stuck. How? Do bodies get stoned and harden inside?

 

[GuiltyJohnDoe]

So, here's your chance to ask anything you like.

I know you aren't a coroner, but you are the next closest thing.

Is it true that nitrogen hypoxia leaves absolutely no identifiable cause of death? (Other than the N2 canister that might be cradled in their arms, unless somehow removed.)

If bodies with signs of foul play or CTB are always examined, what happens to bodies that show no apparant cause of death at the scene of the crime. Are there any other methods that you are aware of that leave no trace. (Other than maybe a paper trail.)

Cheers for keeping up with all our stupid questions. :P

 

[acclimate]

i actually have some career related questions. my goal is to become a mortician (if i don't ctb before obv) and i'm actually in the process of transferring out of my current college program and into a funeral service one. i definitely have a lot of anxiety about making it into the field… were you born into a family owned business? if not, did you have a lot of trouble finding a home to work at? obviously not every home is family run, but i still worry about that a lot. especially with how minimally staffed the places i've shadowed have been.

also, (under the assumption you went to school for it) when you were in school, did you work an internship? that's a requirement for my program. i'm wondering if there was any sort of issue with interning while not being properly certified yet

 

[hellispink]

I really like this thread. I am fascinated about death, the process, the pathologist side of things, autopsies etc. in another life i would have been a pathologist. Thanks for sharing with us.

 

[budgerigar training]

What happens to the body of someone who was being treated with chemotherapy at their time of death?

 

[RicoFR]

I'm a mortician, and I figure I might as well be a resource while I'm here.

So, here's your chance to ask anything you like.

Things like:
-Can I have an open casket if I…?
-What happens to my body after the fact?
-What happens to my body between when I'm found and buried/cremated/etc?
-What can I do to make things easier on my loved one's as far as funeral arrangements and paperwork, etc?
And any other questions that I might be able to answer.

Ask away.

I must say that for some reason I find great comfort in having someone like you, meaning someone who's evidently rational, even « professional-sounding », discuss his wish to CTB so openly.
Somehow it makes me feel less of a f*ckup by allowing me to objectively see myself as someone whose achievements are not erased by his near-constant suicidal ideation.
A weird kind of validation but validation nonetheless.
So thank you.

 

[kilowatt]

I'm not sure if this is your domain of expertise, but would if I were to include details about how I want to be buried in my CTB note, would my family or anyone else take it into consideration? I'm aiming to not have all of the religious tradition done on me at my funeral (my family is mostly christians). I won't have an open casket if that matters.

 

[mehdone]

Thank you for answering. I'll take note of that. I'll probably go and find men's store perfume cause they all smell good.

With that said, as a mortician, do you find yourself involved in police cases often?
What is the usual result of your autopsies when you examine the body? Any weird deaths you've encountered?
I saw videos of a body getting makeup, do you also do that job? I'm curious to know.
This might be far-fetched, but I saw an article before - where a woman died during intercourse and a man couldn't pull it out because he was stuck. How? Do bodies get stoned and harden inside?

For men's perfume, I'm a fan of Eternity by Calvin Klein.

As a mortician, I handle the deceased after the police and coroner, so my interaction with them is minimal. If we notice signs on the body of abuse that the coroner missed, we will contact the coroner.

I have encountered a number of weird deaths, but unfortunately I cannot share details. The privacy of the dead and their families is important.

Yes, I also do makeup, primarily with an airbrush.

I can't think of any possible situation where the man couldn't pull back out if their partner died. Most likely he was in shock and couldn't get his body to move. Even rigor mortis wouldn't cause him to get stuck, and for rigor mortis to even begin to set in, he would have to have continued to have sex for two hours- and a few hours longer before rigor moved it way down to the lower extremities.

I know you aren't a coroner, but you are the next closest thing.

Is it true that nitrogen hypoxia leaves absolutely no identifiable cause of death? (Other than the N2 canister that might be cradled in their arms, unless somehow removed.)

If bodies with signs of foul play or CTB are always examined, what happens to bodies that show no apparant cause of death at the scene of the crime. Are there any other methods that you are aware of that leave no trace. (Other than maybe a paper trail.)

Cheers for keeping up with all our stupid questions. :P

In theory it is unidentifiable/undetectable. However, if it is suspected, arterial blood gas levels and other things can be tested to support the conclusion.

*Every* unexpected death (someone not on hospice) will be autopsied.

I'm enjoying answering the questions, keep them coming. I'm happy to share my expertise.

I did mention earlier in the thread some manners of death that are more likely to be ruled accidental.

i actually have some career related questions. my goal is to become a mortician (if i don't ctb before obv) and i'm actually in the process of transferring out of my current college program and into a funeral service one. i definitely have a lot of anxiety about making it into the field… were you born into a family owned business? if not, did you have a lot of trouble finding a home to work at? obviously not every home is family run, but i still worry about that a lot. especially with how minimally staffed the places i've shadowed have been.

also, (under the assumption you went to school for it) when you were in school, did you work an internship? that's a requirement for my program. i'm wondering if there was any sort of issue with interning while not being properly certified yet

I chose this profession, I was not born into it.

I had absolutely no problem finding work, because I was willing to relocate. The only areas where it is difficult to find employment in this field is near a mortuary college, because they are pumping out graduates every year. This results in more competition, as well as lower wages.

I could easily find employment in my field anywhere I go, except for near a mortuary college.

Yes, I was an intern mortician until I met the requirements for full licensure.

Requirements for licensure vary from location to location, so you will need to research licensure requirements for where you live.

Most locations that require an internship have an intern license that will allow you to intern while you're going to school- if you time it right, you can become fully licensed shortly after graduation.

I do want to clearly state that I do NOT recommend this profession. It is back breaking, soul crushing, emotional, stressful, and largely thankless. It WILL take a toll on your body, and your mind.

I really like this thread. I am fascinated about death, the process, the pathologist side of things, autopsies etc. in another life i would have been a pathologist. Thanks for sharing with us.

You are very welcome.

What happens to the body of someone who was being treated with chemotherapy at their time of death?

The same as any other body.

If being embalmed, we would alter our embalming solution appropriately- choose different chemicals on a case by case basis, increase the concentration of formaldehyde, etc.

I must say that for some reason I find great comfort in having someone like you, meaning someone who's evidently rational, even « professional-sounding », discuss his wish to CTB so openly.
Somehow it makes me feel less of a f*ckup by allowing me to objectively see myself as someone whose achievements are not erased by his near-constant suicidal ideation.
A weird kind of validation but validation nonetheless.
So thank you.

You are welcome.
Our desire to ctb, and when we finally do- that does not define us. Our lives and how we lived them define us- our choices, our actions throughout it. We are far more than our desire to ctb. I know that's difficult to see sometimes, but it is the truth.

I'm not sure if this is your domain of expertise, but would if I were to include details about how I want to be buried in my CTB note, would my family or anyone else take it into consideration? I'm aiming to not have all of the religious tradition done on me at my funeral (my family is mostly christians). I won't have an open casket if that matters.

I cannot say whether or not your family will take it into consideration.

If you have specific desires about what happens to you after death, I strongly suggest going to a mortuary or funeral home and setting up a pre-need plan. When you pre-plan, and prepay for your services- you can state that you want it done exactly as you spelled it out, with no exceptions- and it will be done (so long as it is legal and ethical/moral- for example, we will not bury someone face down, and would tell you so when you requested it. We will not throw your cremated remains in the trash even if you requested it- and we would tell you so.)

 

[bridgegirl]

Yes, I also do makeup, primarily with an airbrush.

I can't think of any possible situation where the man couldn't pull back out if their partner died. Most likely he was in shock and couldn't get his body to move. Even rigor mortis wouldn't cause him to get stuck, and for rigor mortis to even begin to set in, he would have to have continued to have sex for two hours- and a few hours longer before rigor moved it way down to the lower extremities.

Ummm how often does this happen in the world?

 

[Skathon]

If a body is identified, but unclaimed, please see my earlier posts about what happens with unclaimed remains.

No, I mean...
1. What happens when the presumed(!) relatives of the deceased are unable to identify the corpse? Will it remain unidentified ("John/Jane Doe"/not connected to any ID)?
2. What if the relatives aren't certain ("I think it might be him, but the last time I saw him was 30 years ago, and we only met twice...")?
3. Is it possible to outright refuse to identify one's deceased relative?

 

[RicoFR]

For men's perfume, I'm a fan of Eternity by Calvin Klein.

As a mortician, I handle the deceased after the police and coroner, so my interaction with them is minimal. If we notice signs on the body of abuse that the coroner missed, we will contact the coroner.

I have encountered a number of weird deaths, but unfortunately I cannot share details. The privacy of the dead and their families is important.

Yes, I also do makeup, primarily with an airbrush.

I can't think of any possible situation where the man couldn't pull back out if their partner died. Most likely he was in shock and couldn't get his body to move. Even rigor mortis wouldn't cause him to get stuck, and for rigor mortis to even begin to set in, he would have to have continued to have sex for two hours- and a few hours longer before rigor moved it way down to the lower extremities.

In theory it is unidentifiable/undetectable. However, if it is suspected, arterial blood gas levels and other things can be tested to support the conclusion.

*Every* unexpected death (someone not on hospice) will be autopsied.

I'm enjoying answering the questions, keep them coming. I'm happy to share my expertise.

I did mention earlier in the thread some manners of death that are more likely to be ruled accidental.

I chose this profession, I was not born into it.

I had absolutely no problem finding work, because I was willing to relocate. The only areas where it is difficult to find employment in this field is near a mortuary college, because they are pumping out graduates every year. This results in more competition, as well as lower wages.

I could easily find employment in my field anywhere I go, except for near a mortuary college.

Yes, I was an intern mortician until I met the requirements for full licensure.

Requirements for licensure vary from location to location, so you will need to research licensure requirements for where you live.

Most locations that require an internship have an intern license that will allow you to intern while you're going to school- if you time it right, you can become fully licensed shortly after graduation.

I do want to clearly state that I do NOT recommend this profession. It is back breaking, soul crushing, emotional, stressful, and largely thankless. It WILL take a toll on your body, and your mind.

You are very welcome.

The same as any other body.

If being embalmed, we would alter our embalming solution appropriately- choose different chemicals on a case by case basis, increase the concentration of formaldehyde, etc.

You are welcome.
Our desire to ctb, and when we finally do- that does not define us. Our lives and how we lived them define us- our choices, our actions throughout it. We are far more than our desire to ctb. I know that's difficult to see sometimes, but it is the truth.

I cannot say whether or not your family will take it into consideration.

If you have specific desires about what happens to you after death, I strongly suggest going to a mortuary or funeral home and setting up a pre-need plan. When you pre-plan, and prepay for your services- you can state that you want it done exactly as you spelled it out, with no exceptions- and it will be done (so long as it is legal and ethical/moral- for example, we will not bury someone face down, and would tell you so when you requested it. We will not throw your cremated remains in the trash even if you requested it- and we would tell you so.)

Can I ask you how long you've been doing this work?
And how « firm » in your decision to CTB you feel yourself to be?

 

[roguetrader]

Out of curiosity, why would a person not be permitted to be buried face down?

And how long did it take you to get used to the smell of corpses? That can't be easy…

 

[mehdone]

Ummm how often does this happen in the world?

Dying during sex?

It can happen, especially with older folks with bad hearts.

No, I mean...
1. What happens when the presumed(!) relatives of the deceased are unable to identify the corpse? Will it remain unidentified ("John/Jane Doe"/not connected to any ID)?
2. What if the relatives aren't certain ("I think it might be him, but the last time I saw him was 30 years ago, and we only met twice...")?
3. Is it possible to outright refuse to identify one's deceased relative?

I'll answer all three of those with one statement:
Visual identification of the body by a family member or loved one is *rarely* necessary or required.

Can I ask you how long you've been doing this work?
And how « firm » in your decision to CTB you feel yourself to be?

I've been doing this for well over a decade.

And I am FIRM in my choice to ctb, but I seem to keep pushing the date back farther and farther.

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

I'm a mortician, and I figure I might as well be a resource while I'm here.

So, here's your chance to ask anything you like.

Things like:
-Can I have an open casket if I…?
-What happens to my body after the fact?
-What happens to my body between when I'm found and buried/cremated/etc?
-What can I do to make things easier on my loved one's as far as funeral arrangements and paperwork, etc?
And any other questions that I might be able to answer.

Ask away.

How awful does someone who's died from SN look?

 

[spøgelse]

how bad would the state of the body have to be for you to deny a family an open casket? can they still make you do an open casket if the body is in horrible shape (parts of face missing/visual signs of decomposition that can't be hidden with makeup, if there is any)

 

[mehdone]

Out of curiosity, why would a person not be permitted to be buried face down?

And how long did it take you to get used to the smell of corpses? That can't be easy…

It would be considered disrespectful.

It's not a smell that you get used to- it never becomes something pleasant- but your sense of smell dulls to it quickly.

How awful does someone who's died from SN look?

Very discolored.

how bad would the state of the body have to be for you to deny a family an open casket? can they still make you do an open casket if the body is in horrible shape (parts of face missing/visual signs of decomposition that can't be hidden with makeup, if there is any)

I have only denied a family once. It was a floater, who was not found for a long time.

We can recreate any missing parts of the face, and mask all signs of decomposition.