A

AerialBoundaries

The Songs of Distant Earth.
Sep 18, 2022
432
I'm not an incel. I've had love in my life. It's hard to get it nowadays. I don't relate to the incel ideology at all.
 
Hikikomori1

Hikikomori1

Experienced
Mar 27, 2023
289
Sometimes I see posts from incels here and sometimes it makes me question my presence on this site although I do appreciate the ctb guides here. I dont wanna associate myself with incels bc of their dangerous/pathetic ideology.

Idk but is the majority of ppl here non incels?

Dude being incel doesn't mean you have to hate women and be misogynistic it just means you lack relationship and sexual experience and have not had it in a long time despite trying.
I'm a girl so I'm not an incel.

Femcels exist.
 
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Riig

Gott, es tut mir leid.
Nov 15, 2023
21
Sometimes I see posts from incels here and sometimes it makes me question my presence on this site although I do appreciate the ctb guides here. I dont wanna associate myself with incels bc of their dangerous/pathetic ideology.

Idk but is the majority of ppl here non incels?
Depends on what you mean, although im pretty certain the misogynistic ones are a very small minority here.
 
Yakamoz

Yakamoz

passer-by
Jun 26, 2022
302
I am a volcel. Had many hot GFs in the past but now that I am suicidal, i'm keeping myself single.

And I agree incels are pretty disgusting.
 
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O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
321
I am a volcel. Had many hot GFs in the past but now that I am suicidal, i'm keeping myself single.

And I agree incels are pretty disgusting.
Huh, can honestly say this is the first time coming across the word volcel. Anyways, in the same boat here. Though can't say I've had "many" hot gf's but a few sexy ones. With my living situation, my self image, anxieties, and reoccurring suicidal thoughts, just doesn't seem like a good idea to date or fair to the other person. Definitely do miss certain aspects of an intimate relationship.

Some incels make me laugh though, the ones that believe are owed sex. The mental gymnastics required to come to that conclusion must be exhausting.
 
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TheLastGreySky

TheLastGreySky

Specialist
Nov 24, 2023
349
I'm not an incel. I'm actually poly and I had two girlfriends until mid March, and rn my current gf lives with me.
There's a difference between hurting or feel disconnected from life, and being a person who can't get any.
I hate that people associate being sad/numb/etc with being a loser. (Not that I think someone who is unable to get a partner is a loser.)

This is the world people "choose" to live in.
 
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passivethought121

passivethought121

Student
Jun 11, 2023
315
Not an incel. Haven't even held hands yet, but I'm aware that it's not the fault of women or society but myself.
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
How many incels have you seen in this forum to assume everyone here is one? What a retarded take.
 
Adûnâi

Adûnâi

Little Russian in-cel
Apr 25, 2020
926
Though can't say I've had "many" hot gf's but a few sexy ones.

Some incels make me laugh though, the ones that believe are owed sex. The mental gymnastics required to come to that conclusion must be exhausting.

Yeah, let's laugh at the reason why I'm suicidal! Lacking any human touch, something humans have evolved to crave, is a laughing matter!
 
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oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
321
Yeah, let's laugh at the reason why I'm suicidal! Lacking any human touch, something humans have evolved to crave, is a laughing matter!
Noone is owed sex. So when some of these people are blaiming women or society they aren't getting laid and not looking introspectively, yes it is. Also, notice I said some, are all incels mysoginists and believe all women should be happy to fuck them? No, of course not, if you don't fall into that category I'm not laughing at you.
 
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Adûnâi

Adûnâi

Little Russian in-cel
Apr 25, 2020
926
Noone is owed sex. So when some of these people are blaiming women or society they aren't getting laid and not looking introspectively, yes it is. Also, notice I said some, are all incels mysoginists and believe all women should be happy to fuck them? No, of course not, if you don't fall into that category I'm not laughing at you.
Now this is the perfect example of how I'm not sure what kinds of free speech this forum supports. After all, I don't want to offend people here because they feel bad enough - I guess, I'm a white knight in that regard. And I have enough introspection constantly to doubt whether I deserve to feel suicidal - whether my suffering is real, or whether I'm just a lazy idiot faggot (apologies for the language - again, I have no idea what is appropriate to say in the confines of this abode).

If I were to be constructive, I'd say that blaming society is a perfectly legitimate avenue - after all, I highly doubt my life would have been that of incel back in pre-industrial era, with arranged marriage, smallpox and perpetual holodomor. Hell, even in Asia (India, China), I could hope for my grandma to at least pair me with a girl - whom I would have some incentive to serve dutifully and faithfully.

Instead, I'm an atomised individual in this mad half-Russian country, completely lost, utterly clueless. Apparently, to satiate my innate natural desires for hand-holding, I would have to do some unholy dance of which I have no idea - and which isn't even related to my education or job! (Which job is not accessible to me due to war, but that is another magnificent point about my existence.)

"All women"? Don't incels usually shun those fellows who have any standards at all? Isn't one of the tenets of the incel ideology "settle for your looksmatch"? They consider Elliot Roger a fakecel, for crying out loud! What you're doing is just parroting stale anti-incel propaganda which was never deep or profound to begin with.

Again, you are a sex-haver. I'm not saying you should not feel suicidal (not at all, I highly respect chads who kill themselves), but you lecturing the have-nots on how intimate connection is not important comes off as tactless.
 
O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
321
It sounds like we're coming to a similar conclusion but misunderstanding each other.

You're explaining that due to your circumstances and your place within society you're in a situation where meeting women for an intimate relationship is seemingly impossible. At least that's what I gather from your third paragraph with the "unholy dance" part. I have no issues with this, and actually if you read my initial post, I too find intimacy difficult due to my anxiety, depression, self image and reoccurring suicidal thoughts. I don't want to be celebate, I just don't blame women for it. It's the people who think they should be getting sex simply because they are male and the person they are attracted to is female. There's more to it than that.

It's been many, many years since my last relationship and even then, it was incredibly seldom when she expressed physical expression of any kind. So I'm not a "sex-haver Chad", that was a little funny as I've never been called that since it's so far from the truth.

Also, in China, aren't young men not being in relationships actually a major concern? Due to their 1 child policy in the past and other factors, they had boys outnumbering girls by a fair margin so now its like a squid game.
 
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Adûnâi

Adûnâi

Little Russian in-cel
Apr 25, 2020
926
Due to their 1 child policy in the past and other factors, they had boys outnumbering girls by a fair margin so now its like a squid game.
It's probably more due to ultrasound and no holodomors. Because ultrasound leads to female infanticide; and no holodomors or wars leads to overpopulation (and males surviving).

I just don't blame women for it.
But who ever blames women? Incels specifically blame "hypergamy" - which probably means the surrounding feminist culture and the abolition of arranged marriage.

Even blaming women doesn't mean such a misogynist would hate every single individual female. I for one am racist in theory, but in a conversation, you can be a dog behind the keyboard for all I care - here we're but Latin characters on the screen.

(Sure, ad hominems can make sense, but only in those annoying cases where blacks call whites "fakecels", or indeed when sex-havers call sex unimportant.)

You're explaining that due to your circumstances and your place within society you're in a situation where meeting women for an intimate relationship is seemingly impossible.
To clarify this point in a constructive manner (and if anyone wants to help with advice, I love advice, no idea why people consider giving advice impolite wtf), I seem to be autistic that has no idea what "meeting females" even denotes. I am absolutely clueless about how to read even the hand-holding stage.
 
O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
321
To clarify this point in a constructive manner (and if anyone wants to help with advice, I love advice, no idea why people consider giving advice impolite wtf), I seem to be autistic that has no idea what "meeting females" even denotes. I am absolutely clueless about how to read even the hand-holding stage.
If you are on the autism spectrum, that will definitely make things like "reading signals" more difficult. I won't patronize and say I know what that particular condition(s) is like, and someone correct me if this is bad advice, you can "people watch". Obviously not in a creepy stalker way, but say going to a coffee shop and lounge there with something to read and some coffee and observe how couples interact. Coffee dates are common so you'll likely see people on dates there flirting with each other. The only thing is it'll be difficult to see that and not experience it.

Also when you asked who blames women... Alot of guys do and that's probably what most people think of first when the term incel is used. There's a group called men going their own way (mgtow) which sometimes coincides with extreme incel idiology. Its a dark rabbit hole I don't recommend diving into.
 
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Adûnâi

Adûnâi

Little Russian in-cel
Apr 25, 2020
926
you'll likely see people on dates there flirting with each other.
I see normies groping and kissing each others in public transport so that's irrelevant (yes, I saw kissing a month ago, kill me now, holy fuck, how am I supposed not to radicalise lmao).

But I have no idea how to even get to the coffee shop stage. I honestly think I could even do that... But I don't know how to start. I.e., the "asking out" stage - where, how, and when is that conducted?

There are hundreds of females going down and up the stairs in my uni - do I approach everyone there? Of course not - but that demonstrates my ignorance. Again, no arranged marriage hurts. I ask my mom constantly.
 
Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
"people watch"
Does not work even on people not in the spectrum. These things you got to live yourself, maybe have someone guide you and give you a little push in the start; but it is very unlikely someone inexperienced will get something useful out of watching other people date.
 
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casual_existence

casual_existence

Student
Jul 29, 2023
198
I've seen plenty of relationships that looked like they suck so I'm kinda put off by the idea. I asked a girl out once and that was a horrible experience. I'd rather be alone than go throught that again lol and have no interest in getting denied over and over again fuck that. So no not an incel but I've never had a gf. I also keep on getting the "wrong" attention which sucks cause I have a certain kind of taste and standards so.

Also I don't know why but I can't really determine whether someone likes me or not so. It's part of the reason I want to go. Everything is too confusing.
 
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