Any non incels here?

[deadtomorrow]

As an incel myself, Non-incels are the majority here
Most people here are women/gay/married/normal people with 1 bad thing in their lives and now they wanna ctb.
Nobody knows the definition of an incel here let alone outside of this forum

 

[deadtomorrow]

Abused as in "I talked to a girl and she didn't immediately fall in love with me"? Wow, so sad :(

Can we then also talk about women being abused and harassed by incels? Or is it suddenly justified on the off chance they were abused?

What do you mean by "women being abused and harassed by incels"
Do you even know what an "incel" is?

 

[deadtomorrow]

I'm pretty vocal about being against their ideology and so far haven't come across any. I mean it's a forum full of different kinds of people so I don't doubt that you've come across some but I think the majority are chill.

Incels don't have an "ideology"
Incels are not even a fixed group, it's just someone who can't have sex because of often genetic factors that he didn't choose.

 

[リンさん]

I know one specific user here who was horribly physically abused by his mother growing up, and also entered into multiple abusive relationships with other women as he got older. As you can expect he's quite resentful of women and believes them far more privileged than men.

Not every man you dislike is an incel Redditor.

If you can't remove your own bias formed by trauma and realize that not all *insert specific type of human* are the same as the ones who wronged you – I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous.

I get being wary of certain groups of people due to trauma. But being cautious is not the same as shitting on them and spewing hateful speech, which is what incels are quite known for. I don't know which category this user falls into, so for the sake of converstaion I'm assuming the latter - since you talk about them resenting women.

I was sexually harassed by men and grew up with an abusive father. Does that give me an excuse to hate every single one of them? No. Why is that user held to a different standard then? Or is it also okay for me to behave in that way?

 

[tiger b]

Assuming what people mean is a rather non-autistic trait. I hate it when normies do it to me. Why can't I hate most people, but also desire kindness and connection with a worthy soul? Putting people in boxes is useless when it comes to individual cases. In my case, I'm an incel hated by all sides possible and impossible for what I am and what I am not.

And if I suddenly reject the incel term, it will bring me neither the proverbial headpats nor respect from people such as you. Nor greater understand. So yes, I will call myself an incel because why not? Although the upcoming advent of AI waifus is making me mightily disinterested in real people.

Well, I sincerely hope you get your desired AI waifu harem.

 

[Adûnâi]

Well, I sincerely hope you get your desired AI waifu harem.

I'm actually monogamous and submissive in my ideal relationship. Which again makes no sense, but that's how it is. I want to offer love and obedience, even though realistically nobody would ever accept it.

Or to be more philosophical, I want a society where both males and females worship a higher power - such as the idols in Juche Korea. I'm somewhat hierarchical by nature, and always resented my post-Soviet Ukrainian school for being so incredibly lenient and liberal.

Being abused by a girl sounds hot, honestly. And no, I'm not coping because "that's the only attention I might get". I'd like a partner who would be demanding and harsh but fair and intellectual. Probably an allegory of life being a mistress.

...But being so harsh on myself (in theory), I'm not outright rejecting the idea of lonely men being harsh on females (in their "hate speech"). Again, the world is harsh, and I'm trying to understand both sides. One of them is privileged at birth, however.

...See, again I'm devolving from my aesthetic & sexual preferences to the cold, idiotic reality we inhabit. Unfortunately, I can distinguish between the two.

 

[Cage]

If you can't remove your own bias formed by trauma and realize that not all *insert specific type of human* are the same as the ones who wronged you – I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous.

I get being wary of certain groups of people due to trauma. But being cautious is not the same as shitting on them and spewing hateful speech, which is what incels are quite known for. I don't know which category this user falls into, so for the sake of converstaion I'm assuming the latter - since you talk about them resenting women.

I was sexually harassed by men and grew up with an abusive father. Does that give me an excuse to hate every single one of them? No. Why is that user held to a different standard then? Or is it also okay for me to behave in that way?

I think it's fine for you to behave that way. It'd be natural given your circumstances.

 

[Seered Doom]

Since I was abused sexually by both men and women, does that mean I can hate humanity more than I already do as a whole, like more than on just a philosophical misanthropic level? I'm only asking because I'm just trying to understand the baseline here. No hate, just curious.

 

[Life_and_Death]

formed by trauma

ever heard of ptsd?? what youre saying is A LOT easier said then done

 

[tiger b]

...But being so harsh on myself (in theory), I'm not outright rejecting the idea of lonely men being harsh on females (in their "hate speech"). Again, the world is harsh, and I'm trying to understand both sides. One of them is privileged at birth, however.

...See, again I'm devolving from my aesthetic & sexual preferences to the cold, idiotic reality we inhabit. Unfortunately, I can distinguish between the two.

A shame you tacked this on. You couldn't stop the predictable assertion that I felt would inevitably come. I thought you were brighter than that, but the disappointment is my problem. Opinion dressed as fact is canardski, no matter how it's framed.

Distinguish? If you say so. That implies you can see both clearly. You're welcome to your opinion.

In a world unlikely to fulfil your whims/needs, I think it's even admirable to explore AI possibilities to this end. But...

'There are two tragedies in life—not getting what you want, and getting it.'

After the itch has been scratched, what then...

ever heard of ptsd?? what youre saying is A LOT easier said then done

For who? For some? All? You?

PTSD doesn't make it inevitable that someone cannot step outside bias and prejudice, or evolve towards that. Many factors involved here. Including the person involved

 

[Scythe]

Plenty of non-incels out of the active userbase. Incels have their own forums and this site is much less tolerant towards incel ideaology than the incel forums. Although there are incels here, they are definitely not the majority. If anything you can ignore a member if their posts bother you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

For who? For some? All? You?

PTSD doesn't make it inevitable that someone cannot step outside bias and prejudice, or evolve towards that. Many factors involved here. Including the person involved

the problem is that youre making it sound like this can be done at the snap of your fingers when in fact it can take years to rewire your brain.

again, its easier said then done. and all youre doing is saying it. maybe you can look past it, but you are not everyone and everyone has their own life stories that brought them to this point. maybe you should take your own advice and understand that yes there are many factors involved, many more than you know anything about, you are in no place to make any judgement on anyones life, because you are not them. so before you say its so easy live in someone elses shoes and maybe understand its not (but i know you never will nor even care to. youll just keep arguing that youre right. yawn.)

 

[tiger b]

the problem is that youre making it sound like this can be done at the snap of your fingers when in fact it can take years to rewire your brain.

again, its easier said then done. and all youre doing is saying it. maybe you can look past it, but you are not everyone and everyone has their own life stories that brought them to this point. maybe you should take your own advice and understand that yes there are many factors involved, many more than you know anything about, you are in no place to make any judgement on anyones life, because you are not them. so before you say its so easy live in someone elses shoes and maybe understand its not (but i know you never will nor even care to. youll just keep arguing that youre right. yawn.)

No I'm not. And as I said, for who. I'm recognising everyone is different in my post. You are not.

Why quote my post if you're going to substitute another one to answer? Straw man away. It was only four lines to read.

And what you say at the end is pure moronic presumptuous garbage. Almost comical but hey, keep trying to blindly press buttons. The only thing a yawn was your unnecessary and inappropriate lecture. I hope you felt better after writing it. Probably not.

 

[Adûnâi]

A shame you tacked this on. You couldn't stop the predictable assertion that I felt would inevitably come. I thought you were brighter than that, but the disappointment is my problem. Opinion dressed as fact is canardski, no matter how it's framed.

Maybe I was not sufficiently clear. I do envy all the normies, not just the female ones. I envy everyone who got to reach their developmental milestones regarding his social relationships. But you don't see hateful femcels as a media phenomenon, do you?

 

[fwompie]

Assuming what people mean is a rather non-autistic trait. I hate it when normies do it to me. Why can't I hate most people, but also desire kindness and connection with a worthy soul? Putting people in boxes is useless when it comes to individual cases. In my case, I'm an incel hated by all sides possible and impossible for what I am and what I am not.

And if I suddenly reject the incel term, it will bring me neither the proverbial headpats nor respect from people such as you. Nor greater understand. So yes, I will call myself an incel because why not? Although the upcoming advent of AI waifus is making me mightily disinterested in real people.

By calling yourself an incel you directly associate yourself with a recognized terrorist movement made out of self pity and circle jerking.

Spreading even just the name with some type of self identification is so dangerous. You don't sound like you promote violence upon women if I'm getting that right so why even call yourself by that term? Don't you think by calling yourself, for example, lonely, you'd be met with more understanding and empathy? You could then talk to people about the issue instead of others immediately insulting and dismissing you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hmmm, depends how you define incel/femcel. I can't help but associate it with a hatred and resentment towards the opposite sex and society in general. There are certainly some incels on here.

I am probably a femcel to some extent. I do feel like I don't fit the stereotype to be attractive to men. I probably have resented that in the past. I have some distrust and cynicism towards men also but I don't hate them all- just because. I'm more half and half. Some of it feels involuntary but now- the majority is voluntary. I don't have much interest in finding a partner now. I don't really trust relationships or people.

But in terms of the forum- no- we are a mixture of all sorts. Married, single, gay, trans, incel, asexual. All united by feeling we don't want to be here anymore! We have that in common. Now and again, you will get a battle of the sexes flare up but you can always ignore it if it triggers you.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Incels don't have an "ideology"
Incels are not even a fixed group, it's just someone who can't have sex because of often genetic factors that he didn't choose.

Since you're the only one here who has confidently asserted a clear definition to the term, I want to ask a clarifying question. Can't someone who is "involuntarily celibate" simply voluntarily choose to seek out a prostitute? Using the definition you set out, the only set of people that "can't have sex" is quite small, basically only composed of people who have unpreventably nonfunctioning genetalia or libido..

 

[jar-baby]

Since you're the only one here who has confidently asserted a clear definition to the term, I want to ask a clarifying question. Can't someone who is "involuntarily celibate" simply voluntarily choose to seek out a prostitute? Using the definition you set out, the only set of people that "can't have sex" is quite small, basically only composed of people who have unpreventably nonfunctioning genetalia or libido..

not OC but if we're going with what the incel forum says, one can seek out a prostitute and still be an incel, because the sex wouldn't be the outcome of a "truly consensual romantic relationship", because there are perceived factors stopping a relationship of that sort from happening.

 

[Adûnâi]

By calling yourself a[n i-word] you directly associate yourself with a recognized terrorist movement made out of self pity and circle jerking.

Well, I lend my moral support to the extinction of all sentient life on this planet, wouldn't that qualify as "terrorism" under some definitions?

Don't you think by calling yourself, for example, lonely, you'd be met with more understanding and empathy?

That's the thing - if a person cannot see through that moniker the real "me", that person is probably unworthy to waste my time on. Sounds really sad, honestly, I would never expect so many people to be this low, deaf, robotic that a single word may make them disregard everything I can say.

Just the other day, I joined the r/Aspergers Discord chat, and after explaining that I had never talked to a single human aside from my mom (and teachers) in the 27 years of my life, 3 people there snapped and said roughly that I "scare people away with my i-word attitude"... Even though again, I had literally never talked to anyone even to reach the stage where I could begin being "scary".

Sure, I'm not trying to strawman you, I'm showing how easily people strawman me, effectively seeing not me in my place but a generic i-word. Which they proceed to fill with their prejudice.

Should I call myself lonely? That's a good question, to be fair. Wouldn't that mean capitulating before my own blind and deaf haters? In effect, do I have to cater to people so ready to detest me anyway?

I would do it if I were a manipulative psychopath. I'm not. Apparently, I don't even consider such haters human - so I wouldn't want to bother. Talking to them only makes me suicidal - they look like human, but are irrevocably lost to their inner demons, unable to hear my voice or read my words. And returning back to the crux of the issue, mutual understanding is apparently something I inherently seek.

 

[R_N]

This thread went well as I thought it would.

 

[Adûnâi]

Can't someone who is "involuntarily celibate" simply voluntarily choose to seek out a prostitute?

Umm, are you just assuming that prostitution is legal across the world, or that hopeless mentalcels such as myself would be equipped to break the law and find them and the resources and the safety to pull it off? Chances are, if I managed to do that, I would also have friends in the first place. So thoughtless of you.

Sure, I do have some standards... But I would at least accept headpats from any female under 30, something I will never know what it even feels like. Meanwhile, there are constant couples in my Ukrainian town, giving me suicide fuel every time I venture outside.

It's really fortunate that I've never been abused, and am gentle by nature, otherwise I would unironically dream of shooting schools. So in reality, I'm just coping with that they are happy and I will never be, etc.

 

[Seered Doom]

This thread went well as I thought it would.

You mean literally nowhere fast?

 

[tiyijinn]

Sometimes I see posts from incels here and sometimes it makes me question my presence on this site although I do appreciate the ctb guides here. I dont wanna associate myself with incels bc of their dangerous/pathetic ideology.

Idk but is the majority of ppl here non incels?

Yeah, I get you. I'm not an incel, either.

 

[qonav]

Well, I lend my moral support to the extinction of all sentient life on this planet, wouldn't that qualify as "terrorism" under some definitions?


That's the thing - if a person cannot see through that moniker the real "me", that person is probably unworthy to waste my time on. Sounds really sad, honestly, I would never expect so many people to be this low, deaf, robotic that a single word may make them disregard everything I can say.

Just the other day, I joined the r/Aspergers Discord chat, and after explaining that I had never talked to a single human aside from my mom (and teachers) in the 27 years of my life, 3 people there snapped and said roughly that I "scare people away with my i-word attitude"... Even though again, I had literally never talked to anyone even to reach the stage where I could begin being "scary".

Sure, I'm not trying to strawman you, I'm showing how easily people strawman me, effectively seeing not me in my place but a generic i-word. Which they proceed to fill with their prejudice.

Should I call myself lonely? That's a good question, to be fair. Wouldn't that mean capitulating before my own blind and deaf haters? In effect, do I have to cater to people so ready to detest me anyway?

I would do it if I were a manipulative psychopath. I'm not. Apparently, I don't even consider such haters human - so I wouldn't want to bother. Talking to them only makes me suicidal - they look like human, but are irrevocably lost to their inner demons, unable to hear my voice or read my words. And returning back to the crux of the issue, mutual understanding is apparently something I inherently seek.

I think that it's just the wording that most are getting caught over, you don't harbor violent feelings towards women but call yourself an "incel" because of it's literal definition, right? I don't see a problem with that personally, but most people associate it with the violent incel movement that has become more popular online and are put off by it. I think it's a misunderstanding, but I think by labeling yourself as such you do a disservice to yourself since you scare off potential friends, at the same time I understand that you wouldn't want friends that are not inquisitive enough to look past the descriptor and know you for who you are. The solution of that conondrum seems to be up to you and wether you're willing to sacrifice that personal requirement for a currently unknown reward - if there is one.

The people in the discord you join probably are there for an echochamber where they can discuss "quirky autism" stuff and your comments just ruined their vibe. I think you do come off as a bit pedantic by your manner of writing but then probably so do I.


I am willing to talk and listen to you if you think that would have any sort of positive impact in your life.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Well, I lend my moral support to the extinction of all sentient life on this planet, wouldn't that qualify as "terrorism" under some definitions?


That's the thing - if a person cannot see through that moniker the real "me", that person is probably unworthy to waste my time on. Sounds really sad, honestly, I would never expect so many people to be this low, deaf, robotic that a single word may make them disregard everything I can say.

Just the other day, I joined the r/Aspergers Discord chat, and after explaining that I had never talked to a single human aside from my mom (and teachers) in the 27 years of my life, 3 people there snapped and said roughly that I "scare people away with my i-word attitude"... Even though again, I had literally never talked to anyone even to reach the stage where I could begin being "scary".

Sure, I'm not trying to strawman you, I'm showing how easily people strawman me, effectively seeing not me in my place but a generic i-word. Which they proceed to fill with their prejudice.

Should I call myself lonely? That's a good question, to be fair. Wouldn't that mean capitulating before my own blind and deaf haters? In effect, do I have to cater to people so ready to detest me anyway?

I would do it if I were a manipulative psychopath. I'm not. Apparently, I don't even consider such haters human - so I wouldn't want to bother. Talking to them only makes me suicidal - they look like human, but are irrevocably lost to their inner demons, unable to hear my voice or read my words. And returning back to the crux of the issue, mutual understanding is apparently something I inherently seek.

reminds me of bpd, "oh you must be manipulative ect just because" before you even get a word out.
"it must be something youre doing" but....all i said was hi.....
theres more than just 1 part of a human

i am curious why you would mention being an incel though. in my case to mention bpd is a warning that i have struggles/ need assistance sometimes with things. im honestly just curious why mention it, i hope you dont take it offensively.

 

[asian.neet]

reminds me of bpd, "oh you must be manipulative ect just because" before you even get a word out.
"it must be something youre doing" but....all i said was hi.....
theres more than just 1 part of a human

i am curious why you would mention being an incel though. in my case to mention bpd is a warning that i have struggles/ need assistance sometimes with things. im honestly just curious why mention it, i hope you dont take it offensively.

I'm a relatively new user and I fr3aked out when I saw the Wikipedia page for this site. The panic died down tho so I'm good

 

[deadtomorrow]

Since you're the only one here who has confidently asserted a clear definition to the term, I want to ask a clarifying question. Can't someone who is "involuntarily celibate" simply voluntarily choose to seek out a prostitute?

Of course, and many already do, it just means you can't get organic sex with mutual attraction
Even if you seek escorts you won't fulfill your romantic and reproductive needs, which is what everyone wants deep down.

 

[sserafim]

I'm a girl so I'm not an incel. I'm also aroace so I have no romantic or reproductive needs. I honestly find the idea of romance or s*x disgusting. I just don't see a reason/have a need for them, they're not things I personally want for myself. I've never been in a relationship, nor do I want one. I don't see a need for a significant other. I don't like other people, people in general disgust me and I'd hate to share my life with one.

 

[Adûnâi]

I think it's a misunderstanding, but I think by labeling yourself as such you do a disservice to yourself since you scare off potential friends, at the same time I understand that you wouldn't want friends that are not inquisitive enough to look past the descriptor and know you for who you are.

This sums it up nicely, thanks! Although there are so many hidden skeletons in my closet - again, every community will hate me for my views, no exception. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

For example, I like Juche Korea... because they remind me of Imperial Japan, even though their entire identity is built on hating Imperial Japan, and I would never be able to say that to their faces (not that I could ever talk to them). Or how they're racist, and I like that, even though I'm not of their race.

The same goes for the i-word. I don't harbour violent fantasies myself, _but_ I understand guys that do, and I cannot fault them for it. See where I'm getting at? I'm an i-word "ally".

It's almost as awkward as wanting a school shooting to happen so that I could be shot in it. If I had a chance to live in an i-word society with a government-mandated GF, I would enjoy it, but I would personally respect and obey my GF in this scenario, instead of being a wife-beater. Something like that.

Having one's cake and eating it, too? Trying to derive any beauty in a chaotic universe? I should just shut up, for I should just be with one side and not the other... But I can't. It's natural for me to be a contrarian, to forge my own way - and to despise all the others.

reminds me of bpd, "oh you must be manipulative ect just because" before you even get a word out.

In truth? Because I have enough tact to understand that I'm walking on egg shells here, deservedly so. Because I cannot speak my mind truly - and not that I want to, as I don't want to hurt anyone here in the first place. On the other hand, I don't want to get banned, because I could get some help here.

After all, i-words hate me, too. And I'm overall disappointed in their forum due to an immense torrent of one-liner replies, and the dogmas they cling to (which are not even applicable to my own situation - I don't think my face is the problem, although who knows?).

am curious why you would mention being an [i-word] though.

Partially to filter people who would hate me for using such terms, partially because it's true, partially out of my desire NOT to manipulate people by nice words like a freaking paedophile with candies. I don't want to be perceived as toxically positive. I want death, I say it. I associate with violent & suicidal people, I say it.

Chances are, nobody in this forum has been hurt by i-words anyway. It's NOT like like I associate with paedophiles who might have hurt a number. And if you were one of those injured by Alek Minassian, I take off my proverbial hat, because that would be a rare war casualty or something.

Just yesterday, I did a terrible act of i-word aggression, and... walked out of my class room when my class-mates were singing the Happy Birthday song to two girls. I'm a monster, I know. (And before you say this is the attitude that scares people away - I could never form bonds with my class-mates anyway, literally nothing changes either way.)

people in general disgust me and I'd hate to share my life with one.

Logistics-wise, same here. Especially people who eat in my university and drink coffee or whatever they pour into those paper cups. But I would try to combat my natural disgust if it were a hindrance to my potential social/romantic growth. But of course, such an opportunity has never arisen in my life, so it's all purely hypothetical.

I don't have much time left... because artificial intelligence is going to sate all my emotional needs anyway, and in a few short years. My current cope is 2025.

P.S. Ah, almost forgot, but in my case, being a male makes the government of my country want literally to kill me (I'm Ukrainian). Whereas females can drop out of college and be fine. And we're constantly discussing in class journeys to other countries which my female classmates do take while I am legally forbidden to. Literal lower-class citizen. (With the caveat that I hate journeys, so I'm technically not envious of them in this department, but again, that's part of my weirdness.)

 

[AloeGarten]

be defenition im an incel, but their ideoligy is fucked, i wouldnt align myself with it at all