Ah, the wonders of dying in your early twenties because the healthcare system is sadistic

[Wrennie]

My disease was at one point completely preventable/reversible but my physician and insurance are deliberately letting it advance to a stage where I can barely move. I can barely even type this out since my hands aren't working anymore. Flies are swarming around my room and I can tell they know that I'm going to be perfect nourishment for their maggots once I drop dead.

Im being tortured and there's no accountability. They won't save me and they won't euthanize me either. I'm being left to rot.

 

[samsaragothands]

horrific. i'm so sorry the system has failed you like this. i can't imagine how it must have felt to know you didn't have to go through what you're going through right now. how did you find out?

 

[little helpers]

almost sounds like they're deliberately profiting from another's suffering…this is my first time thinking how medical neglect can make them big bucks. fuck.

I know this isn't gonna alleviate your suffering most likely but, is it possible to file suit, like collectively, by contacting Disability Rights in your state/region? I'm not saying you better do that yourself, no, I'm just trying to think of ways that'll hold them accountable. Idk.

 

[Jaded Pear]

Your situation sucks and it's sad to see the systems in place not just failing you, but actively profiting from it. I don't know your circumstances, and you've probably already tried this, but do try and get yourself a new doctor. From the way I interpret your post, your current doctor sounds like human garbage. Even if you don't plan on staying around for to long, if I was in your shoes, I'd still try to leave your current physician out of spite.

I know too many people who have had to go from doctor to doctor, until they found someone who takes them seriously or cares. It's disgusting but with doctors generally being a well respected and highly paid profession you get a lot of people who lack the empathy going after the position. If your willing and able to, get a new doctor, if they can't help try another and another. A doctor which can't help you in anyway is useless to you, and they are the ones who benefit from you sticking around.

I know this might not be viable depending on where you are and your condition, most people I know have free access to doctors, but that doesn't apply to everyone on earth sadly.
I do hope you can somehow pull through and find peace.

 

[Wrennie]

Your situation sucks and it's sad to see the systems in place not just failing you, but actively profiting from it. I don't know your circumstances, and you've probably already tried this, but do try and get yourself a new doctor. From the way I interpret your post, your current doctor sounds like human garbage. Even if you don't plan on staying around for to long, if I was in your shoes, I'd still try to leave your current physician out of spite.

I know too many people who have had to go from doctor to doctor, until they found someone who takes them seriously or cares. It's disgusting but with doctors generally being a well respected and highly paid profession you get a lot of people who lack the empathy going after the position. If your willing and able to, get a new doctor, if they can't help try another and another. A doctor which can't help you in anyway is useless to you, and they are the ones who benefit from you sticking around.

I know this might not be viable depending on where you are and your condition, most people I know have free access to doctors, but that doesn't apply to everyone on earth sadly.
I do hope you can somehow pull through and find peace.

Unfortunately I'm on Medicaid and can only go to "in-network" doctors for my specific coverage, and there are barely any neurologists for me to turn to. Also, all of these doctors "know" each other, so I could risk being medically blacklisted if I seek out another physician behind my current one's back.

I am grateful for your advice and well-wishes though. It's just that we've already tried everything.

 

[laika]

I'm sorry about everything. You don't deserve this. Do you want to talk to someone or make a friend? I'd be really happy to be friends or just talk if you'd like. I'm available to talk whenever you want as I'm in a sort of similar situation to you.

 

[Onthe29th]

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Medicaid is always looking for ways to save money every year. It's always about money and you don't deserve that

 

[little helpers]

shit. I know how fucking much MediCal (kinda like Medicaid) sucks. only thing I can do is send you a hug, OP.

catch this:
( T_T)＼(^-^ )

 

[Wrennie]

I'm sorry about everything. You don't deserve this. Do you want to talk to someone or make a friend? I'd be really happy to be friends or just talk if you'd like. I'm available to talk whenever you want as I'm in a sort of similar situation to you.

That's so kind of you to offer & I'm so sorry to hear that you're in a predicament that's even remotely similar to my own. It's truly disgusting the way the healthcare system is failing people. I genuinely hope that your condition is improvable and that you're at least able to get the care that you need and rightfully deserve.

Nobody should have to suffer.

 

[Jaded Pear]

Unfortunately I'm on Medicaid and can only go to "in-network" doctors for my specific coverage, and there are barely any neurologists for me to turn to. Also, all of these doctors "know" each other, so I could risk being medically blacklisted if I seek out another physician behind my current one's back.

I am grateful for your advice and well-wishes though. It's just that we've already tried everything.

It's sad to hear you've run out of options. If only we could live in a world where such things wouldn't happen and the people in charge of helping us actually can and care. I don't really believe in hell, but I wish it exists so your physician has somewhere to go...

Nothing I can I truly do, other than hope you find some form of happiness and comfort.

 

[GentleJerk]

This breaks my heart Wrennie. You shouldn't have to go through this it's not fair at all. Medical abuse and neglect is so much more common than most realize, it's disgusting and a nightmare for those who are going through it. It especially makes me so sad that they still won't help people even when the technology and the medicine exists.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your disease/condition?

 

[Depressed Cat]

This is heart wrenching and extremely distressing to read. I can't imagine the rogue medical system is letting you suffer like this.

At the very least they can offer you a peaceful exit with N at a time of your choosing. But the pro-lifer goons would be preventing it.

I'm sorry that I'm not able to help you in any way. If it's of any comfort, I give you a virtual hug from the other side of the world.

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be dreadful being trapped in this human body as it is capable of torturing us, nobody should have to suffer like that. It is cruel how the option of euthanasia is denied and people are expected to live a miserable existence against their wishes. It really is a horrible world. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Wrennie]

This breaks my heart Wrennie. You shouldn't have to go through this it's not fair at all. Medical abuse and neglect is so much more common than most realize, it's disgusting and a nightmare for those who are going through it. It especially makes me so sad that they still won't help people even when the technology and the medicine exists.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your disease/condition?

I have diagnoses of Multi Focal Motor Neuron Neuropathy & Chronic Inflammatory Distal Axonal Demyelinating Polyneuropathy & Small Fiber Neuropathy, in addition to Autoimmune Encephalitis (PANDAS), Hemochromatosis, Raynaud's, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Dysautonomia, Hashimoto's antibodies, Lyme Disease, Titanium Toxicity (from the metal implant they inserted into my hip after my fall), limb length discrepancy (from botched surgery), Anorexia, GERD, Essential Tremor, Visual Impairment, Sleep Apnea, TMJ/malocclusion, migraines, severe insomnia, scoliosis, broken back, pelvic imbalance, full-body loss of Proprioception, and hoards of other ailments that just keep on compiling.

I probably have Osteoporosis now as well since I stopped menstruating months ago.

My wounds have ceased healing. My body is covered in bruises that are months old (ever since I lost proprioception I'm always unintentionally bashing into things as a result of not being able to sense objects in my surroundings).

My hair has turned white so I shaved it off. I didn't even go grey first, it just went straight to white.

My skin is literally peeling off.

I get random nosebleeds at night.

I look and feel like the type of corpse that's posted on snuff forums.

My body is the most effective Iron Maiden.

I haven't even touched upon my CPTSD or psychological trauma in this post either, or the fact that I was so heavily drugged as a child that I never developed a proper sex drive.

Keeping me alive just shows how revoltingly primitive society's views toward dignified death are.

 

[Heartattackpending]

This is awful. I'm sorry.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

This gets me really, really god damn angry. I'm sorry Wrennie, you didn't deserve this. You're a victim of humanity's evil. I wish I could give you justice.

 

[Rational man]

My disease was at one point completely preventable/reversible but my physician and insurance are deliberately letting it advance to a stage where I can barely move. I can barely even type this out since my hands aren't working anymore. Flies are swarming around my room and I can tell they know that I'm going to be perfect nourishment for their maggots once I drop dead.

Im being tortured and there's no accountability. They won't save me and they won't euthanize me either. I'm being left to rot.

Cases like yours and so many others should be read by the congress lady who is investigating this website. Maybe people will then understand why we ARRIVE here in desperation unable to get pain relief, withering away to the soundbites of politicians and their empty words.........i feel your pain.

 

[Wrennie]

Cases like yours and so many others should be read by the congress lady who is investigating this website. Maybe people will then understand why we ARRIVE here in desperation unable to get pain relief, withering away to the soundbites of politicians and their empty words.........i feel your pain.

America will never have any sympathy toward genetic trash like me. But I'm grateful for the kind individuals on this website (such as yourself) that do.

I'm dying anyway. It's just needlessly long, drawn out & painful. Had I lived in Canada I could've at least been granted a peaceful exit via MAiD and never would've felt the need to visit suicide forums in the first place. This website exists for a reason.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

My disease was at one point completely preventable/reversible but my physician and insurance are deliberately letting it advance to a stage where I can barely move. I can barely even type this out since my hands aren't working anymore. Flies are swarming around my room and I can tell they know that I'm going to be perfect nourishment for their maggots once I drop dead.

Im being tortured and there's no accountability. They won't save me and they won't euthanize me either. I'm being left to rot.

There is never any accountability when people fall through the cracks. Then you end up hearing garbage like "wHy dIdNt hE rEaCh oUt?" after the person is dead and was suffering their entire life.

I was heavily traumatized as a child and it makes me wonder how not a single doctor or adult did anything to help me because I couldn't communicate. A lot of my health problems were likely preventable had someone gone out of their way for me as a child. Now I have Fibro, Carpal Tunnel, Tinnitus, and various undiagnosed ailments as well as emotional & cognitive problems I've had since I was a child.

Have you not managed to find a way to exit to free yourself?

 

[_Seeking]

I am so sorry you are going through this and that the American healthcare system is so shitty. I had a knee injury 5 years ago, it became much more painful and the orthopedic doctor saw it had all the classic symptoms of CRPS and a bone scan confirmed this. However he referred me to a pain specialist for the lumbar injection which is very successful at treatment if done in the first six months of onset. The pain specialist wanted to try other things, first PT, then cortisone (made worse), Cymbalta (no change), a subtherapeutic dose of Gabapentin (slightly better) and more PT. 10 months later and it had spread to the other knee, ankle and low back. I could only stand for 10 minutes a day at this point. Eventually, my ankle was shown to have pitting of the bone (also typical CRPS) and finally I got another pain doctor to help me. But it had set in and was too late. I did hyperbaric oxygen at a high pressure (very expensive) and it allowed me to get around so I can be on my feet more and less swelling. Unfortunately insurance does not cover that and I have never gotten fully better but I do have fairly good mobility for now. If I could not have afforded the hyperbaric, I would be in a wheelchair. It is madness that one has to have money to get helpful treatment, it should not be this way.

A simple injection could have avoided all of that, but this is the American healthcare system. You get an asshole doctor, and he decides if you deserve to be a functional human or not. It is a crapshoot. None of us deserve to be treated this way and I wish I could do something to help you. I hate that you are so young and have to go through this.

 

[TooConscious]

Always sorry to hear a brother or sister suffering as I've suffered, same thing. I could have been treated and presented early on, instead they antagonised, negated and deneaned my problems called me a scrounger and made me believe I was weak and pathetic and even attentions seeking, so I worked hard manual laboring such as construction site hod carrier just awful jobs for someone I'll or nearly ten years before completely breaking down in my mid twenties. They farmed my suffering.
Iwill never forgive the elite who pull the strings but they froth laugh and masturbated reading this knowing they've hurt us, at least we know what we've been through who cares what another thinks especially scum and others will eventually be beat Dow too and then they'll gain some empathy. I just hope there's no more existence but I would love to have revenge on the perpetrators seeing them thrown out their luxuriws and being forced to do the stuff they cause like prostitute themselves imagine eoege soros sucking Satan's cock for a loaf of bread I hate this vile species if there's a creator I hate.

 

[G_Man]

I hope that someday your suffering will pass. Living the way you are suffering seems like pure hell.

 

[Wrennie]

Always sorry to hear a brother or sister suffering as I've suffered, same thing. I could have been treated and presented early on, instead they antagonised, negated and deneaned my problems called me a scrounger and made me believe I was weak and pathetic and even attentions seeking, so I worked hard manual laboring such as construction site hod carrier just awful jobs for someone I'll or nearly ten years before completely breaking down in my mid twenties. They farmed my suffering.
Iwill never forgive the elite who pull the strings but they froth laugh and masturbated reading this knowing they've hurt us, at least we know what we've been through who cares what another thinks especially scum and others will eventually be beat Dow too and then they'll gain some empathy. I just hope there's no more existence but I would love to have revenge on the perpetrators seeing them thrown out their luxuriws and being forced to do the stuff they cause like prostitute themselves imagine eoege soros sucking Satan's cock for a loaf of bread I hate this vile species if there's a creator I hate.

I'm so sorry that you're hurting. I feel the raw pain emanating from your words. It truly isn't fair what we have to endure.

I am so sorry you are going through this and that the American healthcare system is so shitty. I had a knee injury 5 years ago, it became much more painful and the orthopedic doctor saw it had all the classic symptoms of CRPS and a bone scan confirmed this. However he referred me to a pain specialist for the lumbar injection which is very successful at treatment if done in the first six months of onset. The pain specialist wanted to try other things, first PT, then cortisone (made worse), Cymbalta (no change), a subtherapeutic dose of Gabapentin (slightly better) and more PT. 10 months later and it had spread to the other knee, ankle and low back. I could only stand for 10 minutes a day at this point. Eventually, my ankle was shown to have pitting of the bone (also typical CRPS) and finally I got another pain doctor to help me. But it had set in and was too late. I did hyperbaric oxygen at a high pressure (very expensive) and it allowed me to get around so I can be on my feet more and less swelling. Unfortunately insurance does not cover that and I have never gotten fully better but I do have fairly good mobility for now. If I could not have afforded the hyperbaric, I would be in a wheelchair. It is madness that one has to have money to get helpful treatment, it should not be this way.

A simple injection could have avoided all of that, but this is the American healthcare system. You get an asshole doctor, and he decides if you deserve to be a functional human or not. It is a crapshoot. None of us deserve to be treated this way and I wish I could do something to help you. I hate that you are so young and have to go through this.

I've read a lot about how Cortisone injections do more harm than good on the Regenexx blog (the only legit stem cell organization in America), but naturally of course insurance doesn't cover it & their services are expensive as Hell for just one mesenchymal stem cell/PRP injection because of the effort involved in the extraction/culturing/re-injection process and due to the shortage of specially trained physicians.

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Regardless of one's age, pain is pain.

 

[GentleJerk]

This is beyond anything a person should have to go through.

Where to even begin? I don't want to just tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this and hope that you find peace. I do, but it's not enough.

Sorry I can't DM you with this... But from what I've read before, you have expressed that you want to be able to peacefully end your life if/when you choose, but haven't had any luck being able to find options? I fully understand and support your right to be able to make that decision. No one should have to be trapped and forced to suffer to an unbearable extent like this if they don't want to.

I'm guessing you would be open to a few different options considering how you ended up with that titanium in you. What are the obstacles you have? You really deserve to have some option available at hand, even just for peace of mind, DM me if you feel like it so we don't have to talk about it here.

 

[TooConscious]

I have diagnoses of Multi Focal Motor Neuron Neuropathy & Chronic Inflammatory Distal Axonal Demyelinating Polyneuropathy & Small Fiber Neuropathy, in addition to Autoimmune Encephalitis (PANDAS), Hemochromatosis, Raynaud's, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Dysautonomia, Hashimoto's antibodies, Lyme Disease, Titanium Toxicity (from the metal implant they inserted into my hip after my fall), limb length discrepancy (from botched surgery), Anorexia, GERD, Essential Tremor, Visual Impairment, Sleep Apnea, TMJ/malocclusion, migraines, severe insomnia, scoliosis, broken back, pelvic imbalance, full-body loss of Proprioception, and hoards of other ailments that just keep on compiling.

I probably have Osteoporosis now as well since I stopped menstruating months ago.

My wounds have ceased healing. My body is covered in bruises that are months old (ever since I lost proprioception I'm always unintentionally bashing into things as a result of not being able to sense objects in my surroundings).

My hair has turned white so I shaved it off. I didn't even go grey first, it just went straight to white.

My skin is literally peeling off.

I get random nosebleeds at night.

I look and feel like the type of corpse that's posted on snuff forums.

My body is the most effective Iron Maiden.

I haven't even touched upon my CPTSD or psychological trauma in this post either, or the fact that I was so heavily drugged as a child that I never developed a proper sex drive.

Keeping me alive just shows how revoltingly primitive society's views toward dignified death are.

I have a few things diagnosed already out of what you've listed but the doctors aren't helpful and I've had to pay for tests myself. It's so hard getting to the root cause. When you list titanium you make me think of my akle plate that got left in by a surgeon who said himself it had to come out after two years then to be told that they stay in. Horrible narcissistic man. My health declines rapidly, my teeth continue to rot (6 more fillings in 6 months) despite having good oral hygiene.
You've also made me think that there's not much benefit to having "anawers' as its just one thing after another with cursed individuals like us. I believe its the government sadists behind the scenes have me as a targeted individual because I used to be quite smart, kind and compassionate until about 20 when they'd been hurting me for years since I was a kid I realized what I'd been accepting as if it was acceptable.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I am so sorry, Wrennie. I have been wanting to reply to your thread ever since you posted it, but there are truly no words that can adequately articulate the utter hell you experience, and how sorry I am that you are forced to endure this.

No-one should have to suffer like this, especially not someone as kind, empathetic, intelligent and thoughtful as you. You have been so kind and caring towards me and many other members here, despite the daily torture you contend with. You have such a beautiful soul and you deserve far more compassion, understanding and dignity.

You deserved to be treated and given an opportunity to lead a better life, and I am so furious that your future has been robbed from you by the health system. I dare not refer to them as "healthcare" because there is nothing "caring" about the torture they have inflicted on you. The fact anyone's quality of life and ability to access treatment is contingent on insurance and money - and that people are left to rot if they cannot afford the medicine they require - is barbaric and disgusting. What they have done to you is nothing short of evil.

At a bare minimum, you deserve to have autonomy over the way your life proceeds and how you die. While I understand that your parents may not want to lose their daughter, how anyone could think it's preferable to watch their loved one suffer in agony and gradually deteriorate until they eventually die "naturally" is utterly inconceivable to me and unfathomably selfish (I intend no disrespect to your parents when I say this).

Reading of how your father mocks your pain and treats you so callously fills me with rage. I cannot comprehend how anyone - particularly your own father - could witness everything you endure, watch you writhing and begging for death and react with such ruthlessness, and not feel in any way compelled to alleviate your pain or support you in ending it. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on top of so many illnesses and so much constant pain. You deserve so much better than all of this.

I know there is nothing I can do to take your pain away. I deeply wish I could, and would do so in a heartbeat if I could somehow eradicate your suffering. But if there's anything I can do at all, or if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you and will remain here for you for as long as I live.

 

[Wrennie]

I am so sorry, Wrennie. I have been wanting to reply to your thread ever since you posted it, but there are truly no words that can adequately articulate the utter hell you experience, and how sorry I am that you are forced to endure this.

No-one should have to suffer like this, especially not someone as kind, empathetic, intelligent and thoughtful as you. You have been so kind and caring towards me and many other members here, despite the daily torture you contend with. You have such a beautiful soul and you deserve far more compassion, understanding and dignity.

You deserved to be treated and given an opportunity to lead a better life, and I am so furious that your future has been robbed from you by the health system. I dare not refer to them as "healthcare" because there is nothing "caring" about the torture they have inflicted on you. The fact anyone's quality of life and ability to access treatment is contingent on insurance and money - and that people are left to rot if they cannot afford the medicine they require - is barbaric and disgusting. What they have done to you is nothing short of evil.

At a bare minimum, you deserve to have autonomy over the way your life proceeds and how you die. While I understand that your parents may not want to lose their daughter, how anyone could think it's preferable to watch their loved one suffer in agony and gradually deteriorate until they eventually die "naturally" is utterly inconceivable to me and unfathomably selfish (I intend no disrespect to your parents when I say this).

Reading of how your father mocks your pain and treats you so callously fills me with rage. I cannot comprehend how anyone - particularly your own father - could witness everything you endure, watch you writhing and begging for death and react with such ruthlessness, and not feel in any way compelled to alleviate your pain or support you in ending it. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on top of so many illnesses and so much constant pain. You deserve so much better than all of this.

I know there is nothing I can do to take your pain away. I deeply wish I could, and would do so in a heartbeat if I could somehow eradicate your suffering. But if there's anything I can do at all, or if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you and will remain here for you for as long as I live.

Thank you so much, Persephone. I truly appreciate everything you've said beyond words.
I know you've suffered greatly too - this world isn't fair at all.

As for my father, the more I think about it I believe he unknowingly has PTSD from having witnessed his own father die slowly and painfully from cancer in his youth. He shuts me down because he doesn't know how to handle it. Yesterday he behaved lovingly and kindly toward me when I was deteriorating. I don't think he means to act "callous" per say, but that's how I interpret things when he refers to me as "crazy" when I have mental breakdowns from the pain. It's just that he's never been there himself, so he doesn't get it. Now my little brother also has Covid (in addition to Lyme) and is starting to develop symptoms similar to my own, and I think the thought of potentially losing both of his children to disease is wearing on him. I do love my father, I just wish he behaved with more understanding toward the daily tortures I am forced to contend with.

As for forcing me to die naturally, it's our only option in America. My parents love me, but letting me go would go against all of their instincts as parents. I often rant about them because of that, but deep down I know they are coming from a position of love. They don't want to lose me. They are trying all that they can to cure me and are actively fighting against doctors/insurance to get me my treatment with everything they've got… but their actions just aren't bearing any fruit. It's not their fault, it's simply that the system is utterly broken.

I want the pain to stop so desperately, though. This isn't the kind of suffering that's sustainable. But all the ER offered to do for me was "section" me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They provided zero solutions for my pain.

In a way I view this as a form of natural selection since I'm dying from something that wouldn't kill other people, but at least let me be "selected" already. If enough doctors tell you there's nothing to be done, why can't a peaceful & dignified death be an option for individuals such as myself? I know society fears that if we treat death of the disabled too liberally it could lead to full-on eugenics, but I think that's a stretch. Humanity must take risks in order to advance. That is the case for every innovation.

I still think most of these decisions are religiously motivated, as our politicians insert God into their every decision despite us living in the modern era.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Thank you so much, Persephone. I truly appreciate everything you've said beyond words.
I know you've suffered greatly too - this world isn't fair at all.

As for my father, the more I think about it I believe he unknowingly has PTSD from having witnessed his own father die slowly and painfully from cancer in his youth. He shuts me down because he doesn't know how to handle it. Yesterday he behaved lovingly and kindly toward me when I was deteriorating. I don't think he means to act "callous" per say, but that's how I interpret things when he refers to me as "crazy" when I have mental breakdowns from the pain. It's just that he's never been there himself, so he doesn't get it. Now my little brother also has Covid (in addition to Lyme) and is starting to develop symptoms similar to my own, and I think the thought of potentially losing both of his children to disease is wearing on him. I do love my father, I just wish he behaved with more understanding toward the daily tortures I am forced to contend with.

As for forcing me to die naturally, it's our only option in America. My parents love me, but letting me go would go against all of their instincts as parents. I often rant about them because of that, but deep down I know they are coming from a position of love. They don't want to lose me. They are trying all that they can to cure me and are actively fighting against doctors/insurance to get me my treatment with everything they've got… but their actions just aren't bearing any fruit. It's not their fault, it's simply that the system is utterly broken.

I want the pain to stop so desperately, though. This isn't the kind of suffering that's sustainable. But all the ER offered to do for me was "section" me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They provided zero solutions for my pain.

In a way I view this as a form of natural selection since I'm dying from something that wouldn't kill other people, but at least let me be "selected" already. If enough doctors tell you there's nothing to be done, why can't a peaceful & dignified death be an option for individuals such as myself? I know society fears that if we treat death of the disabled too liberally it could lead to full-on eugenics, but I think that's a stretch. Society must take risks in order to advance. That is the case for every innovation.

I still think most of these decisions are religiously motivated, as our politicians insert God into their every decision despite us living in the modern era.

I share Persephone's thoughts, sorry you're going through this hell. I just realized this past year when going through my own journey of terminal illness how often our medical system is unhelpful when confronted with difficult or impossible medical cases. Docs in those cases often seem too eager to ditch patients, as opposed to provide some sort of assistance with the ensuing medical concerns dealing with end of life.

Some states do have MAiD, just to be clear, and the residency requirements can be met in some states more readily than others. I once called a MAiD doc in CA, and he mentioned if one moved to CA and had a rental agreement, or moved in with a family member, that would be enough to satisfy the residency requirement.

Compassion and Choices may also be a group to look into, they advocate for MAiD. There is a terminal illness megathread now too, perhaps there will eventually be a subforum for terminal illness discussions so we can all connect here more easily and find discussions directed to our concerns.

 

[Rational man]

sucking Satan's cock

Assuming satin is male. Religion has assigned masculinity.to many mythical entities.

Thank you so much, Persephone. I truly appreciate everything you've said beyond words.
I know you've suffered greatly too - this world isn't fair at all.

As for my father, the more I think about it I believe he unknowingly has PTSD from having witnessed his own father die slowly and painfully from cancer in his youth. He shuts me down because he doesn't know how to handle it. Yesterday he behaved lovingly and kindly toward me when I was deteriorating. I don't think he means to act "callous" per say, but that's how I interpret things when he refers to me as "crazy" when I have mental breakdowns from the pain. It's just that he's never been there himself, so he doesn't get it. Now my little brother also has Covid (in addition to Lyme) and is starting to develop symptoms similar to my own, and I think the thought of potentially losing both of his children to disease is wearing on him. I do love my father, I just wish he behaved with more understanding toward the daily tortures I am forced to contend with.

As for forcing me to die naturally, it's our only option in America. My parents love me, but letting me go would go against all of their instincts as parents. I often rant about them because of that, but deep down I know they are coming from a position of love. They don't want to lose me. They are trying all that they can to cure me and are actively fighting against doctors/insurance to get me my treatment with everything they've got… but their actions just aren't bearing any fruit. It's not their fault, it's simply that the system is utterly broken.

I want the pain to stop so desperately, though. This isn't the kind of suffering that's sustainable. But all the ER offered to do for me was "section" me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They provided zero solutions for my pain.

In a way I view this as a form of natural selection since I'm dying from something that wouldn't kill other people, but at least let me be "selected" already. If enough doctors tell you there's nothing to be done, why can't a peaceful & dignified death be an option for individuals such as myself? I know society fears that if we treat death of the disabled too liberally it could lead to full-on eugenics, but I think that's a stretch. Humanity must take risks in order to advance. That is the case for every innovation.

I still think most of these decisions are religiously motivated, as our politicians insert God into their every decision despite us living in the modern era.

I was reading a heartbreaking case from Australia where a young man who was barely 18 Years asked his parents to help him die to relieve the pain.from terminal cancer. He even wrote a letter to explain things. Im not sure what happened but but he died and the parents were prosecuted at least initially..So sad, things have to change.

 

[TooConscious]

Assuming satin is male. Religion has assigned masculinity.to many mythical entities.

I was reading a heartbreaking case from Australia where a young man who was barely 18 Years asked his parents to help him die to relieve the pain.from terminal cancer. He even wrote a letter to explain things. Im not sure what happened but but he died and the parents were prosecuted at least initially..So sad, things have to change.

Your perfectly right. It's just a stupid example because the complexities of reality cannot be put in to words, certainly not by my literal intelligence.

It does seem though that a pettiness as humans suffer controls the world so it wouldn't surprise me if it really is a kid running a video game controlling everything.