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I recovered. Got on the right meds, got the right help, and now I've got the cliche shit to live for. Friends, family, pets, whatever. I live for the complexity of life, too. There's so much to learn, not enough time to do it, but goddamn it'd be a shame if i didnt try
Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx
Mostly because I promised someone that I would wait for them. I don't usually do the things I promise I would do but that person was quite special to me. And the other reasons are, my future, My cat, I just can't help but overthink about all of that
My family. I absolutely adore my wife and my child was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love both my parents and even my mother in law, who's a second mom to me.
None of these persons deserve to bear the consequences of my own weaknesses. I know that if I KMS I wouldn't be even here to feel sad for them, but they absolutely don't deserve to have their lives destroyed for a selfish act born from my own contempt for myself.
i dont think my dad would be okay in the slightest. even though we're not the closest, he did what he could with what he had and i dont want to hurt him more
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movinout17, Clasrink and DeadlineDialer
My reason is that I haven't found a reliable way that doesn't scare the shit out of me, and that doesn't hurt. Aka I'm a coward. If I had my hands on a bottle of N, I wouldn't think twice.
I don't give a damn about anyone around me: my parents have always treated me like garbage and I have no friends. Never been in a romantic relationship and probably never will too.
Reactions:
movinout17, LittleBlackCat and sserafim
Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx
Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx
Risk and fear of failure. If I fail, I might end up with permanent damage. In that case, it would've been better to never even have attempted in the first place
Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx
My main reason always leads back to my son. Poor thing burdening him with that weight. The thought of him suffering absolutely kills my soul. He's 15 and the last thing I'd want him to think is that I abandoned him and/or didn't love him enough to stay…so many thoughts go thru my mind. When I feel more at peace, I can remind myself just how much I want to see him graduate, play video games with him still even when he's older, be a grandparent someday if he wants kids, his birthdays, crack jokes and hear his laugh and so much more. I want to see him grow and always want him to be secure he has mom by his side.
I love him so much and strongly feel he's saved my life multiple times.
My reason is that I haven't found a reliable way that doesn't scare the shit out of me, and that doesn't hurt. Aka I'm a coward. If I had my hands on a bottle of N, I wouldn't think twice.
I don't give a damn about anyone around me: my parents have always treated me like garbage and I have no friends. Never been in a romantic relationship and probably never will too.
There's so much I still want to do and experience and for now, it'll keep me alive. That might change again though. I hope it doesn't, but the way things are going right now I'm scared that it will.
There's so much I still want to do and experience and for now, it'll keep me alive. That might change again though. I hope it doesn't, but the way things are going right now I'm scared that it will.
I've made progress this last year with my health and have unfinished plans to continue treatments and see if I can make it to the next finish line. If I was in the same state of health as I was last year, I'd probably have very little holding me back from eventually completing.
I have a lot of reasons, I used to think I didn't but I never looked hard enough.
My cat, my mom (only family who really cares about me imo), college and the hope of a better future. I plan on beginning mental health treatment soon to better things even more. There's also too much I have yet to experience in my brief time here.
And finally, finding that perfect partner for me and building a life with her, something that I could be entirely proud of.
My family, the very small chance I'll be able to live my dream, and my love for nature and adventure
Slowly have been drifitng towards ctb over a few months but I'm staying here for my family who tries to care about me even if I'm not close to them, my hope that I won't end up living a terrible existence and my love for nature and beauty.
Actually thinking about some things I like has made me feel better while writing this.
Maybe I shouldn't think of this stuff all the time :/
I honestly finished all the reasons now...there is nothing left anymore.
There is no reason why I should not kill myself,actually it's absolutly the best thing for myself to do...like an act of real love toward myself.
I tried,fuck yes if I tried...more than 10 years now,it's more than enough.
on the off chance that i get a lucky growth spurt at 19, or some crazy miracle that fixes all my problems i dont wanna miss it. Ill give it a little longer since the way i see it if im gonna ctb anyway i might as well see how some things play out or have fun for a little bit.
also i went 160 in a car and i loved the adrenaline of it, so now i wanna get something faster or something like a h2r maybe itll make me feel alive again
It's simply just SI for me at this point really. Wish I had access to Nembutal as I'm sure most people here do as well.
Suppose there's the whole "I have a pet" thing too as I wouldn't want to abandoned my puppy at such a young age.
I'm also just really obsessed with benign work and wish to be able to feel like I "completed" my work before moving on from it though I am very prone to taking on new responsibilities rather often so maybe that in itself is some form of self-preservation.
Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx
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