close to home

[NZkiwi]

typically when browsing through sassu and reading good bye posts, especially when in a certain mood, i feel... envious

imagining others being able source SN, find a hotel room, say good bye, write letters (ctb is a lot of admin)


i feel also a bit of joy
feeling peace for the poster
hoping they need not suffer anymore

...

but i came across a post good bye thread of another kiwi/new zealander today
we're a fairly small country 4million

and idk

when i was detached and it was someone on the other side of the world, i felt at peace for them
but when it's in my own backyard, idk kinda of saddened me.

any way

i guess what i'm trying to say was for some reason reading another kiwi was going to ctb really made me upset, even though when i read all the others posts on sasu i feel at peace
im not sure why i feel that way :/

curious if anyone else has had that experience when it has hit closer to home

 

[csites]

Personally Ive met people here who I really relate to alot and who are sometimes also geographically pretty close, but so far I havent really felt anything except happiness that theyre able to make peace with the idea of stopping their suffering..

 

[NZkiwi]

yeah fair, i guess we just experienced it differently

i was surprised it affected me at all tbh