Would you kill yourself over a girl?

[Neowise]

@Steamm I'm really sorry that you still feel these intense emotions after 6 months. I have never been in a relationship and have never really loved anyone so I can't imagine how bad it is. However, I do think that killing yourself over a past relationship is not worth it. Love never lasts forever, people come and go. It's fine if you are still sad, but I bet it will get better and you will find someone else, even if you don't like to think about it now. If you want to talk about it we are all here for you.

@StrokeMyEgoBaby @WasGehtnAb? Technically he said "she left me to date another guy", so it's unclear whether she actually cheated on him. Maybe she did leave him to avoid cheating on him, we may never know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending her because I don't know the full story, all we know is 1 sentence OP wrote. Though I agree that what she did was not cool.

 

[WrongGuy47]

Easy to say one shouldn't but I know how difficult these feelings can be to deal witn

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Plenty of fish in the sea. We're all replaceable, and with 7.7 billion people on the planet, chances are you can find someone even better.

 

[WornOutLife]

No, I wouldn't.
I've hurt and been hurt many times and been really depressed because of that but my reasons for ending my life are bigger.
I just hate aging, getting sick, not understanding the universe, having been born without asking for it, etc.

 

[shay23]

I used to - I wanted to end it because of a boy I was in a long term relationship with. But, I'm over him now and glad my reasoning was not him. It took a few years but I am glad I waited it out. Hope you're okay!

 

[Superdeterminist]

I probably would. For me, anything that causes even remotely negative feelings are are ctb fuel, really.

 

[Eatyourveggies12]

Ctb over a failed relationship?probably not.

But depending on the length of the relationship and our bond, especially if that person allowed me to open myself up about my depression,ocd etc. and was supportive, loving i do think it would push me over the edge and ctb.

Me wanting to ctb isn't just about one factor or problem,it's about a lot of issues that pile up until the walls start closing in and i feel trapped enough that the only way to free myself is to ctb.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's been five years since a very similar thing happened to me even though I was never with her. She later told me I could have had a chance if I had just been faster. She also told me not to kill myself over it. I've respected her wishes for as long as I could but my plan for a while now has been to kill myself when I turn 30 because by then it won't matter what she thinks anymore.

Then a few months ago I met a different girl that things fell through with and since I originally met her from here she probably has no problems with me killing myself earlier when I'm 28.

So I guess I am killing myself over girls, rather my inability to ever be with one.

 

[StringPuppet]

Not if I weren't already miserable but since I am that would easily push me over the edge lol. Good thing I'm ugly ig

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

No one can make a judgement regarding an individual's reasoning for ctb and if that reasoning is sound except the one who is contemplating it.

That being said, I don't think I would have in the past. Now that I'm pretty disabled and have no family at all really, I probably would ctb if my partner left me because I rely on him.

As much as people say you have to learn to live with youtself and be alone that goes against human nature in my opinion. We will always desire caring bonds with others. For those of us who are ill and fragile especially, we are at the mercy of other people.

 

[Endeavour]

I'm definitely not a feminist but I guess there is a difference in the way men and women cheat.

Men because there is an opportunity.
Women because they are not happy in their realtionship.

This is not science but my own observation.
Sound unfair but life isn't fair.

I think that's a rather broad brush approach to defining people, it depends on their individual make up psychologically rather than their gender.

I mean it's odd on the one hand how we keep getting told there's no difference between men and women and ability or function, and yet when it comes to cheating men are rabid animals who can't control themselves, but women only do it thoughtfully because the man is at fault.

If someone has low self esteem and needs constant reassurance of their worth they cheat - man or woman. Makes no difference.

 

[fixitinpost]

I'm definitely not a feminist but I guess there is a difference in the way men and women cheat.

Men because there is an opportunity.
Women because they are not happy in their realtionship.

This is not science but my own observation.
Sound unfair but life isn't fair.

That's not feminism. That's sexism.

There are a myriad of factors as to why people cheat. Some surveys seem to suggest that the nature of unhappiness differs between genders, with men leaning towards physical dissatisfaction, and women towards emotional dissatisfaction. But it's unhappiness all the same.

But that alone is not enough to cause someone to cheat. There needs to be opportunity as you said, but also a certain propensity to cheat. And that's first and foremost influenced by personality traits. I won't go into detail there, but some of it is fairly obvious (like extroverts being more likely to cheat than introverts).

If it is as you say, men should be cheating far more often than women - because it suggests they don't need to be unhappy to cheat, right? But contemporary numbers seem to show that women cheat about as much as men do.

 

[Endeavour]

That's not feminism. That's sexism.

There are a myriad of factors as to why people cheat. Some surveys seem to suggest that the nature of unhappiness differs between genders, with men leaning towards physical dissatisfaction, and women towards emotional dissatisfaction. But it's unhappiness all the same.

But that alone is not enough to cause someone to cheat. There needs to be opportunity as you said, but equally important a certain propensity to cheat. And that's influenced by personality traits moreso than gender. I won't go into detail there, but some of it is fairly obvious (like extroverts being more likely to cheat than introverts).

If it is as you say, men should be cheating far more often than women - because it suggests that even in a healthy relationship they will cheat, right? But contemporary numbers seem to show that women cheat about as much as men do.

More actually. It's easier for women to cheat.

A key that can open any lock is priceless. A lock that opens to any key is worthless.

Men have a key (hey we all know how hard it is to pull, right), women are the lock (they can get it any day any time any place just by making it available).

There - now that's a good dose of counter-sexism, just to balance the books of this thread.

 

[symphonyofthenight]

Yes, my boyfriend died and that was the straw that broke the camels back.

People can say no and others aren't worth ctb over but we don't know your personal situation. As someone in those shoes... Yes. Yes I would. Granted, my issue is not that we broke up, but that he died and I'm now a widow. But still: for me, the happiness is gone and so is the color. And you may feel the same. And that's okay. Don't let anyone else invalidate your feelings. People can say they wouldn't and that is their personal directive but unless they're in your shoes, they really don't know your life or circumstances.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Personally no. But I won't say its an invalid reason. Any reason can be valid to ctb if the person think so. You decide.

Big way of topic...you aren't a girl?

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

That's not feminism. That's sexism.

There are a myriad of factors as to why people cheat. Some surveys seem to suggest that the nature of unhappiness differs between genders, with men leaning towards physical dissatisfaction, and women towards emotional dissatisfaction. But it's unhappiness all the same.

But that alone is not enough to cause someone to cheat. There needs to be opportunity as you said, but also a certain propensity to cheat. And that's first and foremost influenced by personality traits. I won't go into detail there, but some of it is fairly obvious (like extroverts being more likely to cheat than introverts).

If it is as you say, men should be cheating far more often than women - because it suggests they don't need to be unhappy to cheat, right? But contemporary numbers seem to show that women cheat about as much as men do.

I didn't say that this has to be an automatism.

Of course it's not like men have to take every chance they get and not every women unhappy with her relationship will instantly search for another man.

But anyway if the two genders do cheat they have USUALLY different motivation behind their behavior.

 

[Endeavour]

I didn't say that this has to be an automatism.

Of course it's not like men have to take every chance they get and not every women unhappy with her relationship will instantly search for another man.

But anyway if the two genders do cheat they have USUALLY different motivation behind their behavior.

That's exactly what you said - men because an opportunity is there, women because they are noble creatures who have been let down - by men.

I think you need to rethink your thinking becasue I think you think that you think in a different way to the way that you actually think.

 

[issyishere]

To be honest, I mentioned this before but there's a very high chance you will get better. When my girlfriend dumped me I was a wreck for a year at least. But here I am 2 years later and I'm pretty much over it. This is coming from a person who is suicidal over anything. Give it time my friend, if you need to cry, then cry. I know I did but just remember you'll get over it. To be honest even if she asked to come back I'd probably say no as I could now see she wasn't who I hyped her up in my head to be. Better days ahead mate.

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

That's exactly what you said - men because an opportunity is there, women because they are noble creatures who have been let down - by men.

I think you need to rethink your thinking becasue I think you think that you think in a different way to the way that you actually think.

Not because women are noble or better than men but because of human nature.

Men want to spread their genes as wide as possible, at least this in the biological duty.
Women who are pregnant are helpless for months. If they cheat they have to see a better option who can support her more. Cheating just for fun would be very dangerous.


Of course we don't live in caves anymore but biology is still a thing.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

No. I've had my heartbroken several times and it's an awful feeling, but it has always passed for me.

 

[Jean Améry]

Given that I didn't in the past no. While I'm sure it's theoretically possible to find your soulmate (out of the many millions of members of the opposite sex within a certain age range, not to mention it's impossible to actually meet even a large portion of them) and lose her the chances are so remote I don't think she actually was your soulmate although I understand very well how much a break-up can hurt. Nobody should fault you for feeling the way you do.

The best way to forget about a romantic partner is to find a new one. If after a few other girls you're still pining over her maybe she actually was your soulmate. Which is like I said rather unlikely to begin with (there are literally billions of women on this planet) and her outright anti-social behaviour towards you makes it even more unlikely.

She sounds very manipulative. If I were you righteous anger would be my reaction, not sadness unto death. Still love hurts, doesn't it?

 

[Endeavour]

Not because women are noble or better than men but because of human nature.

Men want to spread their genes as wide as possible, at least this in the biological duty.
Women who are pregnant are helpless for months. If they cheat they have to see a better option who can support her more. Cheating just for fun would be very dangerous.


Of course we don't live in caves anymore but biology is still a thing.

Yes I agree whole heartedly with that - men are driven by attractiveness (i.e. looking healthy/thin/in good health/fertile), while women are driven by a more nurturing narrative (providing security/food/shelter) - because as you say when a woman is pregnant she is vulnerable to the elements and animals and cannot easily find food, so needs it providing. So the bigger and more domineering the man, the more attractive he is to her (since he looks like he can hunt and provide safety), and for him she needs to look fertile and healthy so she can provide healthy babies.

This is from the ancient survive at all costs brain, what is sometimes referred to as the reptilian brain, the common brain to all mammals that involves nothing more than satisfying needs related to survival.

But to say men cheat because the opportunity is there, and women cheat because they are unhappy is only taking this biological narrative into account.

Today there are far more pressures, the pressures of society and the thinking brain that is only relatively new, maybe 300K years or so. It thinks and compares and understands concepts and can extrapolate - this leads to the psychological pressures of "being liked" rather than simply "being alive" and this adds a far more complicated set of issues into the mix - IMHO.

 

[Steamm]

I can't forget her kiss, her touch, her soft skin, it's been a torture to me, especialy remembering the picture she shared on her status back then sleeping with another man.
why women are so mean, why

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

I can't forget her kiss, her touch, her soft skin, it's been a torture to me, especialy remembering the picture she shared on her status back then sleeping with another man.
why women are so mean, why

Do yourself a favor and stop "stalking" her. Don't look at pictures from her, don't look up her status and so on. Otherwise you wont get over her and it will hurt everytime you do so.

@Endeavour​

You probably are right, cheating is more complex to say biology is everything, even if it is important.

 

[Endeavour]

I can't forget her kiss, her touch, her soft skin, it's been a torture to me, especialy remembering the picture she shared on her status back then sleeping with another man.
why women are so mean, why

Perhaps she's got a personality disorder like NPD?

They take their time to devalue you, then they do things to destroy your sense of self and value, then when they know you've hit rock bottom they come back and tell you how wonderful you are and how much they messed up and how they miss you and how much they've changed.

They puff you up with a false sense of worth (that they now own) and suck you back into their game (they call it hoovering), then they own you.

They can inflate you or deflate you instantly with a word or a look or an action, and you end up being like a puppet on a string dancing to whatever tune they call.

They are like a cat playing with a mouse - and you're the mouse in that scenario.

 

[Heart Shards]

No offence but your reaction may be the reason why she left...

Did your parents ever teach you say something nice or nothing at all? Real classy, bro/sis.

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

Did your parents ever teach you say something nice or nothing at all? Real classy, bro/sis.

My empathy skills are not on the highest level and I know this but lying wont help anyone.

 

[Heart Shards]

My empathy skills are not on the highest level and I know this but lying wont help anyone.

I understand, but kindness is free, and the world is already ugly enough, wouldn't you agree? But I do understand the whole depression making one apathetic.

 

[Steamm]

Do yourself a favor and stop "stalking" her. Don't look at pictures from her, don't look up her status and so on. Otherwise you wont get over her and it will hurt everytime you do so.

​

I no longer have her on whatsapp or any social medias, this happened when we were still "hanging out", I guess she took that photo just to finally vanish me from her life asap. A few days later she deleted me on whatsapp and then I asked her why and she said she was dating another guy and don't wanna have any contact with me anymore.

 

[Heart Shards]

I no longer have her on whatsapp or any social medias, this happened when we were still "hanging out", I guess she took that photo just to finally vanish me from her life asap. A few days later she deleted me on whatsapp and then I asked her why and she said she was dating another guy and don't wanna have any contact with me anymore.

Hugs.